Each of us longs to express who we are, what we think and how we feel. But how often do we?
From my perch I see more being repressed than expressed. Considering that repression can lead to depression, illness and even violence, what is stopping us from being true to ourselves and others? Usually the fear of not being liked, accepted, understood, loved, ad infinitum.
The irony is that when we repress, it leads to all sorts of negative feelings about ourselves, which we then project on others. Umm, not good.
If you feel that you can’t express yourself honestly to your friend, you will end up resenting him or her. Your friend has done nothing to deserve your anger, but because you lack the courage to be honest you become angry. Not only does your friend become the target, but others in your path as well.
Now let’s back up. What if you choose a different tack and decide to express your creative differences with your friend. Is that really such a risk?
If he or she stomps away in anger, whose problem is that? Theirs. If he or she sulks and says your wrong, whose problem is that? Theirs. If your relationship is solid, you will weather your differences, and with the willingness to communicate you’ll enrich your relationship by allowing each other to be honest.
When you practice honest, creative expression you feel nurtured and alive. Why? Because that is the benefit of honoring yourself.
The unblocked flow of energy uplifts and heals. It becomes easier to rise above the drama because honesty calms your emotional state and leads to clear thinking. On the other hand, repressing your feelings creates a stagnant emotional pool, which can literally poison your system, causing emotional and mental unrest and physical disease.
If being true to ourselves is the ticket to freedom, then why isn’t it practiced more often?
One reason is that people are too busy pointing the finger at others and blaming “them” for the way they are feeling or acting. “My boss causes me to stay angry.” If your boss stirs up your anger, it’s still your anger. Ask yourself, why are you an angry person? What don’t you like in your boss? What don’t you like in yourself?
If you like your job and want to stay, then have the courage to discover the aspect in yourself that is making you angry. If you don’t like your job and want to move on, what’s holding you back? I doubt if it’s your boss.
True creative expression begins with honesty. If you lie to yourself and others, even with good intentions, your thoughts and feelings become entangled. The more you pretend or repress, the deeper the entanglement.
Accept responsibility for your life. Use your awareness to catch yourself when tempted to blame others for your circumstances. Find the courage to begin to untangle the matrix of even small lies, which diminish your creativity. By being true to yourself, you will begin to experience harmony and peace. The topper? Your creativity will heighten, expand and take on new purpose.
— Susan Ann Darley is a creativity coach, writer and author. Through coaching and writing, she specializes in motivating people to use their talents and market their creative projects. She offers a free 30-minute coaching session. For more information, click here, e-mail her at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or call 805.845.3036.
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