Dear Feelings Doctor: I have been happily married for 24 years. My husband and I are the couple who everyone looks up to for advice and occasional guidance.
For months now, my hubby has been pestering me to have sex in the grocery store. He is constantly suggesting games to play in public, things to wear that are not me and other outrageous role-playing scenarios.
Please help me figure out what to do here. Thank you.
— Ashley in Los Angeles
Dear Ashley: Role-play for happily married, connected couples is a great way to stay in touch with each other’s fantasies. The two of you must have complete trust and know that the deeper you go within the relationship, the deeper your passion and desire can go, too.
Keep in mind that respect and honor are two key ingredients for couples to be able to share private moments like this. So, become that cheerleader again, or the firefighter who saves the day. And perhaps the grocery store idea will have to wait; you really don’t want to get arrested in the name of love! Good luck, and happy 2014.
Dear Feelings Doctor: I have never been to a therapist, and I am struggling with issues that I don’t want to discuss with my friends. I am not interested in the past or my family or my childhood. What type of counselor would you suggest?
— Cathy in Carpinteria
Dear Cathy: There are a few types of therapy that may fit what you are looking for.
Solution focused is the one that I would recommend from the information you have given me here — working with present issues as opposed to the past.
The moment you make the appointment, things will begin to shift in a positive direction for you. Good luck, and happy 2014.
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It has always been thought that one cannot hold faith and fear at the same time. I believe that you can. Perhaps courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Robert Fulghum has suggested in his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, "Hold hands while crossing the street, look both ways before you go. Be polite, say please and thank you. The simple things in our lives give us the biggest blessings."
Here’s to simplicity and bliss in 2014. May your heart remain open and your challenges be met with courage and grace.