She Said, Z Said: 1.3 Billion Chinese Are Just Waiting to Be Inspired by the Tao of She
Jeremy Lin, Van Jones, even Vin Diesel have got nothing on Leslie Dinaberg — even if she doesn't speak Mandarin
Z: Van Diesel was very inspiring at the Academy of Healing Arts fundraiser last night.
Z: Van Jones was very inspiring at the AHA fundraiser last night.
She: Did he inspire you to remember people’s names?
Z: No, he inspired me to be more inspirational. I think we should be more inspirational people.
She: I like that idea, but do you think you can fit being more inspirational into your schedule between playing video games and watching The Daily Show?
Z: Are you saying being inspirational might take some work? Because I don’t think that’s the kind of inspirational person I want to be.
She: I think that work is a pretty basic part of being inspiring. Unless you’re trying to inspire the next generation of slackers to better slack, and then I think inspiring slackers is an oxymoron.
Z: I think my real problem is that I lack a convincing back story. I grew up happy and middle class. Who’s going to be inspired by the way I overcame a supportive and pleasant upbringing?
She: Don’t forget the Ivy League education and the tall, white male thing. You poor dear.
Z: It’s tough out there.
She: But there are other ways to be inspiring besides overcoming great obstacles. You can inspire through great works, brilliant ideas, or by doing good things.
Z: It sounds like you’re pushing the work angle again. Feh.
She: Van Jones sounds like he had a perfectly nice upbringing, and still manages to inspire with excellent stories and experiences.
Z: Yeah, but he’s already worked at the White House — and he’s a little younger than I am, too. Aren’t we too old to start becoming inspirational?
She: Not at all. In fact, now would be the perfect time to do something inspiring. Who would ever expect it?
Z: You’re still suggesting work, aren’t you?
She: You could start a charity.
Z: Too hard.
She: You could become a gourmet chef or learn to give really great massages.
Z: I’m talking about doing great things that inspire millions of people to go and do even greater things; you’re talking about little things that would make you happy. That’s not inspiration, that’s self-interest.
She: But I might be inspired to be nicer to you if you cooked for me.
Z: I’ll get right on that. How about you? How do you aspire to inspire millions?
She: I think that the perfect way for me to become more inspirational would be to become the president of China.
She: Seriously, how’s this for a back story? A nice, Jewish girl from Santa Barbara moves to China where she doesn’t speak a word of the language and is taller than everyone else. She learns Chinese, gains the trust and love of a nation, and becomes president. How awesomely inspiring would that be?
Z: This is the simplest plan you could come up with?
She: It’s the Jeremy Lin story, only in reverse, and without the basketball.
Z: So while you’re doing your Manchurian Candidate thing, should I take up basketball in China?
She: That would be Zaktastic. And it would totally help with my presidential campaign. We’d be the inspirational couple of the decade. You’d better get to work on your jump shot.
Z: Right after you start learning Mandarin.
She: I can see the magazine covers now: “She and Z Inspire Millions. Z Still Won’t Cook for She.”
Z: Yes, dear.
»wrote on 02/28/12 @ 02:11 PM
Very funny this week, thanks.
»wrote on 02/27/12 @ 07:43 PM
LOL definitely a fun headline and funny story (as always).
»wrote on 02/27/12 @ 04:46 AM
I don’t know who writes Noozhawk’s headlines but well done! You guys always have the best headlines.