- Home
- News Grid
- Local News
- Green Hawk
- Business
- Politics
- School Zone
- Nonprofits
- Missing Pets
- Multimedia
- Arts
- Movies
- Outdoors
- Sports
- News Releases
- Columnists
- Blogs
- Opinions
- Classifieds
- Advertise
- Donate
- Partners
Gail Rink: Obituaries and Memorials
Obituaries and memorials are reflections of our nation’s history. They are public expressions of our cultural values. Obituaries and memorials also suggest the history of America’s view of death. Each person’s life story contributes to the social collective.
Obituaries are subtle vehicles to experience the values and beliefs of the citizenry. They contain the familial and personal demographics of the deceased. Place of birth. Lineage. Education. Employment. Family survivors. Remembrances. Place of burial. Time of services. A respectful biography. Obituaries are a place to define the “living qualities” of a person.
Memorials serve much the same purpose. However, memorials are concrete objects. Naming of buildings. Head stones. Donations. Cemeteries. Crosses at the roadside. Bouquets against a fence. Memorials are markers of the past that help us remember and give meaning to our lives.
A friend was describing his first trip to Normandy. As he spoke, his eyes were somewhere else. He saw Normandy. His words were courage, vast, brave. His breathing hastened. He felt Normandy. My friend believes that life can be bold, raw and gallant. He knows suffering. He values courage, honesty and bravery. The Normandy memorial mirrored his own beliefs.
Cremation expanded the value of memorials. Memorial services replaced funerals as a celebration of life. Family and friends participate in designing the service. The personal touch is evident. The deceased seems to be present everywhere.
During the 1980s and early ‘90s, many of the patients I served had AIDS. Memorial services could be extraordinary. Prayer flags along the beach at Padero. Rain sticks. Photo collages. Favorite shoes. A crib full of teddy bears. Memorial services can be very intimate; actually, you can set just about any tone you choose. More services than not have the tone of the honoree. Memorial services help us reconstruct the past into the present. Memory goes to feelings, relationships and influence. We connect. We celebrate. We remember.
Certainly, death is more out of the closet with the integration of hospice care into health care, into the culture, into our lives. Hospice people are the sentries to keeping the door opened in regards to end of life care and education. We companion one another. We share our skills and educate you as you experience one of life’s most sacred events. However, families and friends provide the real caring.
We learn from the obituaries the real person you cared for. The person you loved. We attend the memorial services to find our place among all the family and friends who served him and who knew him far longer than we did. We gather to share our respect for the families and loved ones. We are honored to have served.
I invite you to participate in the obituaries and memorial project between Hospice of Santa Barbara and Noozhawk. Post obituaries at Noozhawk and link to the hospice Web site at www.hospiceofsantabarbara.org for a more personal opportunity to design your memorials.
— Gail Rink, MSW, is executive director of Hospice of Santa Barbara.
Comments
Noozhawk's comments are moderated, but by posting here you accept your responsibility to follow our rules as part of Noozhawk's shared online community. Please keep your comments civil and helpful. Don't attack other readers personally, and do not use vulgar, abusive or discriminatory language. Use the "Report Abuse" link if a comment violates these standards or our Terms of Use
More Local News »
Steve Jacobsen: Alliance for Living and Dying Well a Great New Local Resource
A collaborative community effort is already making a difference in end-of-life care
Steve Jacobsen: Valentine’s Day Not Always Happy for Those Grieving Loss
Transforming the meaning of love in new ways can help lessen the ache of missing a special someone
Steve Jacobsen: In Health Crisis, Let Technology Do the Talking
Phone and online messages are efficient ways to provide updates while offering relief for the family
Gail Rink: With Death, Family Dynamics Change and Life Goes On
Memories help fill the voids left behind by the absence of a loved one
Steve Jacobsen: Phone Calls After the Jesusita Fire
Hospice of Santa Barbara was there, is there for those who need our help
Weather: Fair 61.0º
Search Noozhawk »
