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Ken Williams: The Story of Two Women, Part I
[Noozhawk’s note: This is the first essay in a two-part series. Click here for the second essay.]
“Kathy” and “Danny” are two women of the streets who share that commonality but with radically different outcomes. Kathy’s story illustrates that lives can and are saved when lifelines are there to help them, even against all rational odds. These same desperate lives can have tragic outcomes without a helping hand in a moment of crisis.
Pain leaked from Kathy’s pale blue eyes despite her best efforts to hide it. Her blond hair softly framed her face, cushioning the hurt that lashed out from her. Everything moved slowly, awkwardly. The early morning having robbed the streets of sound intensified the emotions of this fragile woman.
I was tense at first, feeling the wounded soul who sat across from me. Then I caught myself. She was anything but fragile. She was a courageous woman, one who had been through hell and emerged from the other side stronger for the struggle.
I looked closer, looking for the woman I used to know. For more years than I care to count, I would steel myself when visiting the homeless camps, afraid of finding Kathy’s body. She was always at the top of my list of those who I feared would have died overnight.
For years this woman was driven to drugs and alcohol by a hellish life and the terrors of the symptoms of her mental illness — and by emotional scars that tore at her soul and that had propelled her to the streets in the first place. I also feared she would fall victim to the sick men who hunted vulnerable street women. Or that she would hurt herself to quiet the raging voices and psychological wounds. Or that she would simply go to sleep and never wake up.
In her days on the streets, she could evoke deep emotional pain within me whenever I ran into her and was unable to persuade her to abandon the streets and come into the shelter system. I knew well that in some ways, the shelters were pretty bad choices for her needs. I also recognized how much more vicious the streets can be for the mentally ill, women, the elderly, veterans, people who are sick or wounded, and displaced workers. I wish deeply for an alternative, but there isn’t one. The government and society have taken all other options away from people like her.
Incredibly, over time she found the courage — a great deal of it — and fought through everything that was thrown at her. With the help of the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission and others who never gave up on her, she fought through the hell that was her life.
Looking across to her now, again I had to struggle to remember the wounded — and, in a very real sense, hunted — woman she used to be. I sit back, thinking about how much courage she had to arrive where she was this morning. It would have been so simple for her to give up, to end her life in a haze of numbing drugs and alcohol. But she didn’t.
She endured the painful withdrawal from the life of drugs and alcohol. She didn’t vanquish the demons that had driven her to the streets in the first place, but she did manage to fight them to a standstill. A fight that I can see in her troubled eyes is a daily struggle for her.
I have never been privileged to know a more courageous person. For the 100th time, she and others like her show me that no person is without hope, that even the hard-core alcoholic or drug addict can struggle back. That they, the survivors, are so much stronger than I am, having fought through a hellish existence that I can only begin to image. They have so much to teach me, to teach all of us.
I’m proud to call Kathy my friend. I am humbled by her life journey, and by her struggles, pains and triumphs. This remarkable woman has been clean and sober for more than 2½ years. She has reconnected with family and, with trepidation and courage, faces a life free of the slavery of addiction.
Thank you, Kathy, a friend I deeply honor and respect — in fact, stand in awe of.
— Ken Williams has been a social worker for the homeless for the last 30 years. He is the author of China White and Shattered Dreams, A Story of the Streets.
Comments
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» on 02.18.10 @ 08:59 AM
Great. Let her move in with you to your house on the Mesa.
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» on 02.18.10 @ 11:00 AM
Thanks for this story, it gives me hope.
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» on 02.18.10 @ 11:50 AM
What a sad but all to true story of how so, so, so many women, men, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, children, and friends are struggleing with these issues. They all belong to someone, we all know someone going through this and all we can do is pray for them and hope they themselves find their way out and find what is left of the resources available to them. For those who mock, judge, look down upon, disregard or abuse them, SHAME ON YOU! Remeber what you give out in life will come back to you ~ your hatred and vile ideals will get the worst of you, since there is no best of you.
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» on 02.18.10 @ 11:52 AM
ken williams is santa barbara’s angel of compassion,caring and concern once I was rich then I was poor a cascade of darkness,fear and terror became my world through a series of what I am sure was divine intervention Ken Williams intervened I was always treated with dignity,respect and compassion and help as he helped me navigate the bureacracy and wend my way back to the light ken you are a mensch a true human being thank you isn’t enough for all that you do I owe my sanity and my life eternally grateful simone
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» on 02.18.10 @ 11:59 AM
What options have the people taken away? I believe there are quite a large number of people that donate generously to non profits just for this reason. If someone doesn’t want to take part in the services available that is their right. I am not saying it isn’t a terrible situation for her but, she has a right to say no… I also respect her and congraulate her for 2 1/2 years. If her family couldn’t get her off the streets, what makes you think the government could do so? Thank you for the story.
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» on 02.18.10 @ 05:07 PM
I hate to remind you Ken but the sick men and vicious people you tslk about in you latest piece as those hunting vunerable street women, are the STREET MEN, probably those who drank, got drunk or did drugs and got high with Kathy.
We are all happy she has been sober and clean for two and a half years and hopefully will keep herself off the streets and continue to make something of the rest of her life!
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» on 02.19.10 @ 07:49 AM
Great job on reporting on those, society would rather not “see”. Our system is broken, the mentally ill suffer each day…instead of treatment, most end of in our de-facto mental institutions, “jail or prison” and/or homeless. I am grateful for your articles of hope and compassion. My son is dually diagnosed with Bipolar and addiction (self medication) It isn’t a easy life, one he did not choose. He is treated like a unwanted person in most situations. I realize there are no simple answers as no one can fully understand the pain/complexity of mental illness, however we can start with compassion.
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» on 02.22.10 @ 02:38 PM
How much more B.S. and venom is Ken going to spew out?
He must think that he is a great writer but his isn’t..
Does he have these people’s authorization to talk about them? Or does he think that because they are homeless they are stripped of rights? I have heard the he has spoken before of certain people, and doing so breaking medical condfidentialities that they are entitled to.
I doubt if Ken Doll ever visited a homeless camp.
I doubt if he was in fact in Nam ..I think he went to school for social studies and fictional journalism. He has flunked both, IMO
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» on 02.22.10 @ 07:04 PM
This comment page needs an edit button .
Please excuse my typing and grammatical errors on the previous post.
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