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Ken Williams: In Memory of Those Who Passed On in 2009
I like this time of year. While the commercialism leaves me cold, I have made a commitment not to let the desire of some to make a fast buck ruin what should be a time of spiritual reflection for all of us, and, I am proud to say that many in our community do just that. Be they Christian, Jew, Muslim or nonbeliever, many people take this time for such soul searching and act upon those spiritual beliefs.
This is also the time of year that I stop and pay homage to those who have passed on. Obviously, since I work with the homeless, my thoughts turn to those on the streets who have died. I have one bit of good news to report in this regard. Michael B., with whom I last had a conversation at Project Healthy Neighbors and which led me to believe he had stumbled and become homeless again, was in fact on the road to recovery and housed. He was known and loved by many and his passing touched us all.
Chris and I shared a special relationship built around our love of German shepherds. (I hope my new puppy, an English Mastiff, is understanding of this.) Chris’ dog, Max, was a companion dog. All at the shelter that temporally became their home loved him. After Chris’ brutal attack, which left her impaired and drove her to the streets, it was Max she turned to for support. He was also her protector when she was forced to flee to the often-brutal streets. During our shared stories of these dogs, the sadness and pain would momentarily lift from her eyes. She could forget for at least a little while that at one time, she had been a different woman, one who owned a small business. I wonder if the men who so viciously attacked her are proud of what they turned her into?
The cold weather with frost on the roofs reminds me of “Sherry.” The early mornings on Lower State Street belong to the workers keeping our city clean, cops, the homeless and myself. During these reflective times, Sherry and I would often walk together. Her eyes were chiseled hard, hiding the pain that lapped at her soul. I was never able to discover the source of her pain. One morning, I had two winter coats: one was weatherproof, the other lighter with a fake fur collar. Thinking she would prefer the heavier one to ward off the cold, I offered her this. While thanking me, her sight kept drifting back to the lighter one. When I offered her that one instead, a youthful sparkle lightened up her eyes. For the few months remaining of her life, I never saw her again when she wasn’t wearing that coat.
I never did find out the source of the infection that killed Robert. Like myself, he had served in the military. We frequently shared our vets stories. I miss him.
Sadly, I witnessed the slow progression of Joe’s disease, which ate away savagely at his body. His spirit was destroyed a little at a time until the wheelchair that enslaved became his casket.
I would often visit Ross Stiles at his campsites, trying to encourage him to come into the shelters or at least allow the medical staff to treat his crippling disabilities. During those visits, I found myself squatting down so I wouldn’t tower over him. The pain that twisted his body prevented him from standing. I will remember till the day I die sitting at a homeless shelter reading a vicious anti-homeless article that a man who called the streets home had given me. He had been deeply hurt by the tone of the article. I remember trying to downplay it — that that was merely one person’s opinion. The next person in line had come to give me bad news. He knew I was close to Ross and wanted me to know of his death. I sat in shock at first, not believing what I was being told. To this day, the murder of this crippled, gentle man has gone unsolved.
And, it is still a mystery to me how EZ and Juanita died from carbon monoxide poisoning. They had lived on the streets long enough to know not to run a generator within the tight confines of a vehicle. Did the cold drive them to such a fatal decision or was something else at play?
To this day, I am still not convinced that Alan died the way they said he did. How can an amputee who is restricted to a wheelchair, fall forward hard enough to die from a blow to the head? I also understand that he had two head wounds. Facts are hard to come by on the streets — the only certainty is this man’s tragic death.
I can still see the body of Jeremy lying at my feet. He had passed away at a shelter and we were waiting for the coroner. He seemed peaceful, his struggle finally over. The same can be said of Mitch, although the day before he died, he told several people that he felt the presence of Death lurking about.
There were those who died without names, and still others too numerous to detail: Guitar Man, Red Beard, John, Gayle and Ron, Robert, and Damon and Tom, a gifted artist whose talents will now never be acknowledged. May they all pass into a more peaceful hereafter. May we, as a community, stop for a moment and give a simple prayer or take a moment of reflection. May those who feel so moved renew our dedication to the fight to return homelessness as a social plight back into the history books where it belongs. May the soup kitchens and shelters be once again found in the pages of the Great Depression and not in our communities. And, let the families of the men and women who fell in Afghanistan and Iraq find peace of mind during these, sure to be trying holidays — and may no more fall.
Finally, may our deepest values, which hold life sacred, see the light of day.
[A Sad Update: Since finishing this article, I was informed that “Freedom” died during the freezing cold while sitting in his wheelchair on State Street. He had told many that this was to be his last year on the streets: He had heard Death’s approaching footsteps. I was surprised how many knew this homeless vet and how many were touched by his infectious humor. Thank you all who had kind words and took the time to share them regarding this man. I’m sure it meant a lot to him.]
— Ken Williams has been a social worker for the homeless for the last 30 years. He is the author of China White and Shattered Dreams, A Story of the Streets.
Comments
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» on 12.21.09 @ 07:34 AM
KEN =
Thanks once more for your many & varied ministries & for those who work with so many others on “the mean streets”!
As with you, I think of others - even from this inter-state distance - of some precise names and “stories” of veterans in Ventura, Oxnard, The Flying J truck stop [in Frazier Park] and so many un-named ‘encampments’ in your southern Santa Barbara; all of Ventura; Los Angeles; and even Kern Counties where I did out-reach starting late December, 2005 until early January - during this Most Holy time of year.
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» on 12.21.09 @ 08:53 AM
Ken,
Your article was so touching. Robert was a good friend of my brother’s. I remember him always being very respectful to me when I would come to visit. We were so shocked and saddened to hear of his death. Thank you for all you do to help our homeless population.
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» on 12.21.09 @ 09:48 AM
Ken, thanks, once again, for sharing your caring and insights into the lives of our homeless brothers and sisters. It’s good that you remind us all of our connection to those less fortunate…buy how and why does the disconnect happen? I will share this with my friends…Peace all around.
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» on 12.21.09 @ 07:07 PM
While it is important to discourage panhandling, (some do it as a business and some to feed their bad habits) there should never be a problem with offering to buy them a meal. Everyone deserves to eat.
If they are sincerely in need they will accept, if they are just looking for money they will refuse. Ask if they are hungry and if so take the time to walk over to the nearest restaurant or fast food place and bring them a meal, it doesn’t cost much and it will it will give you a chance to help someone truly in need, maybe even take the time to hear their story.
Some of these people look scary, but if you take the time you will find some very gentle and thankful spirits. Go a step further if you like - ask for their need and provide it (clothes, a shower, medical care?).
It will make your Christmas more about what the spirit of Christmas really is for both of you. Much more fulfilling than the usual “holiday” stuff.
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» on 12.22.09 @ 10:43 AM
Ken,
Sharing your stories (and truths) has touched me deeply over the last few years.I never look on a homeless person in the same way and always try to offer a meal.
THANK YOU
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» on 12.23.09 @ 07:43 AM
Ken - please make several suggestions as to how (and through which organizations) a local citizen could effectively volunteer a couple of hours a week to help out. I’m especially concerned for the homeless mentally ill, and frustrated because I don’t really see what can be done… Thanks - and thanks for all your compassionate good work.
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» on 12.24.09 @ 09:14 AM
Ken,
Thanks for your unwavering reminder and keen insight into the homeless problem we have locally as well as nation wide. You put names, lives, and stories to the problem. You are a reminder to me to look past the sometimes disheveled appearance of some of these people to see that they are all Americans, all with a story that got them to where they are today. The goal is get them on a journey to get them offf the streets.
When we have our Christmas Eve dinner tonight in our warm home with smiles all around I will remind my children and my spouse to always show compassion for others not as fortunate as us and to reach out to lend a hand.
keep fighting the good fight.. Merry Christmas
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» on 12.26.09 @ 01:20 PM
Your boundless compassion for the chronic street people, who are often grouped into the general category of “homeless”, is admirable. But rather than asking what the rest of the community is doing, about this troublesome segment of street dwellers, what are they doing for themselves?
Here, you have a small segment of the so called “homeless population”, who are chronic street people and who’s desire to be free from the bounds of all responsibility, and often to continue serious substance abuses, makes them even gravely careless about their own health and welfare.
It is nearly impossible to determine what happened in their lives that led them to where they are. What is it that we can do? Give them money? Buy them a big Mac? Build more shelters that they often refuse to utilize? Nothing will change the attitudes of most of these folks.
Psychologists tell us that the only hope for this category of chronic “homeless”, “panhandlers or beggers”, “substance abusers” and “street people” is when they hit bottom! That means, that their lifestyle or condition gets so bad that they are somehow motivated to CHANGE their situation for the better.
From your frequent chronicles of the deaths of many of these local street people over the last year, you have yet to specifically point out what the rest of the community can do other than provide shelters, food, clothing etc. which is now being done all the time.
There is no power to force these people off the street and to get the help they need. Nor is there any reason any of us should feel guilty when we had nothing to do with what led these folks to the life they now lead and many good citizens are doing whatever they can to help even in a largely losing cause!
The only power available is that of arrest or involuntary commitments to facilities, which require illegal conduct or unsafe situations to trigger them and a court process to enforce them and ultimately an expense to the taxpayers to incarcerate or house them.
Millions could be spent on psychological or psychiatric treatment but, sadly, the “success” rate of involuntary treatment experienced in the past, is extremely poor and even where those that have “hit bottom” and seek help voluntarily has occurred, the recidivism rate is also rather poor.
Clearly the death of any person is tragic, but what is it that you think the rest of us can do, beyond writing poignent and sometimes theatric eulogies about their life on the street leading up to their demise?
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» on 12.26.09 @ 05:24 PM
Thank you Ken for your work in the trenches. And thank you for clarifying Michael Brown’s housing status upon his passing.
I couldn’t help but reflect on the front page story today in the News-Press (12-26-09). Another homeless Hero? Meals are prepared 365 days a year for the homeless, of course, this is taken for granted. Mr. Carroccio and his friends cook and serve a meal on Christmas day, and make the front page of the paper. Where are these well meaning Volunteers the other 364 days of the year? It was mentioned that the meal would bring awareness to the plight of the homeless. It certainly brought awareness to the fact that Lois Capps and Janet Wolf were present. I believe that Mr Carroccio is well meaning and a good man. His mobile food kitchen is a good idea. For his idea, and other good ideas to make a difference, there needs to be less personal notoriety, and more year round work in the trenches.
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» on 12.29.09 @ 10:39 AM
“Finally, may our deepest values, which hold life sacred, see the light of day.”
“Cristo” counters “Jax”‘s assertions nicely. I have been at the bottom of society and have witnessed first hand how abusive clever men can be. But because of family and the political prices President Carter and President Clinton have paid, I have seen the upper classes of society.
Because of the prices paid by James Earl Carter, Jr. and William Jefferson Clinton, many people have been taken off of welfare and given the chance to work. There are many people in my workplace that have faced life on the precipice of economic annihilation and have been saved because of a caring society of people. (Here read Ken Williams and Malamute Ventures LLC!)
The entire country is now trying to avoid economic annihilation and Mr. Williams’ words resonate with our struggle: to hold life sacred and thus, see the light of day. Instead of names of young men and women killed in war, read of their accomplishments in their old age!
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» on 12.29.09 @ 01:59 PM
Chris;
Forgive my ignorance but exactly WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Could you translate that last post you wrote into something coherrent?
Cristo’s post was basically about politicians and 1 day a year do gooders grabbing headlines and not “working year round in the trenches”.
I don’t know what you do for a living, you mention “your workplace”, but are you in a position to quit work to devote your life to trying to help the chronic street population? If most people quit their own jobs to help this segment of the culture, they too would be joining them in the ranks of the homeless!!
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» on 12.29.09 @ 03:43 PM
Jax;
I have written as clearly as I am able to.
I mean’t no disrespect.
Mr. Williams is doing good work and this forum needs to be publicized more than it is. Maybe one day I will be able to do so more effectively.
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» on 01.10.10 @ 07:33 PM
I love your writing Ken, keep it up. I was told by a gal a couple weeks ago that Ross Stiles killers still roam the beach looking for victims at night. Ross had a beautiful soul, he was a crippled angel. Intresting falling face foward like that seems to happen often around here.
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