- Home
- News Grid
- Local News
- Green Hawk
- Politics
- School Zone
- Youth Camps
- Nonprofits
- Missing Pets
- Multimedia
- Arts
- Movies
- Outdoors
- Sports
- News Releases
- Columnists
- Blogs
- Opinions
- Classifieds
- Advertise
- Donate
- Partners
She Said, Z Said: High Society
She: I just heard one of my favorite Santa Barbara statistics in a long time.
Z: That the Santa Barbara Channel is the world’s top source for sea urchin?
She: No, but that takes a close 12th. Apparently it takes Santa Barbarians twice as long to shop as anywhere else.
Z: I thought that was just you.
She: Not even.
Z: But you take twice as long because you go to Vons in the middle of night to meet your boyfriend. That doesn’t seem like an explanation for everyone in town.
She: No, that’s just me trying to be efficient. Two birds, one stone, even if one of the birds is lemon herb basted and roasted.
Z: It makes me nuts thinking of you and your boyfriend in the produce section, making inappropriate fruit and vegetable jokes.
She: You’re jealous of me having a fictional boyfriend because I make bad jokes with him?
Z: What could be worse?
She: Seriously. I have it on good authority that it takes us twice as long to go to our Costco as a normal Costco.
Z: Because we’re hoarding supplies for the next fire evacuation, or because we just buy more in general?
She: Neither; it’s because we socialize more. Our town is the perfect size such that whenever you go to Costco, you run into someone you know.
Z: And when you do, you both have to comment on how it’s impossible to get out of Costco for less than 13 grand, how unbelievably cheap the seven gallons of ketchup are, and how fun it is to make an entire meal out of the samples.
She: I have other conversations with the people I run into, too. Sometimes we talk about Oprah. I always seem to just miss her everywhere in town.
Z: She’s totally avoiding you.
She: Then there’s soccer, or basketball, or what a great deal they have on Alma Rosa Chardonnay.
Z: And about sea urchins?
She: We really do live in a painfully social town.
Z: Says the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Da Mayor.
She: True.
Z: It used to seem like your parents knew everyone, but now I’m starting to think you might be usurping them.
She: I don’t think I can ever compete with 30 years of teaching a million kids at Roosevelt and SBCC.
Z: Yet, every time we go out, I have to ask you, “Who was that?”
She: Even though you’ve already met them a half-dozen times. That’s more a function of your social illiteracy than my Rolodex.
Z: I guess it also depends on what neighborhood we’re in. When we’re midtown, you’re pretty much the queen of Five Points and La Cumbre Plaza.
She: It’s my ‘hood, but I can’t compete with my sister when we’re up on the Mesa.
Z: Downtown has its own business class during the day, and a bunch of people going out at night who we don’t usually know.
She: True. I’m always surprised to see other grownups downtown at night. But at Costco, it’s the whole gamut. Everyone makes the trek out there, even the heartiest Carpinterian.
Z: Of course, they have to gas up the mules and check the tire pressure for that massive 20-minute commute.
She: Don’t forget caffeine. That’s important if you’re going on a road trip all the way out to Goleta.
Z: And, of course, some good sea urchin sandwiches.
She: Yes, dear.
— Share your favorite local gathering spots with She and Z by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
Comments
Noozhawk's comments are moderated, but by posting here you accept your responsibility to follow our rules.
- No abusive, defamatory or libelous attacks. In plain English: No personal attacks.
- No vulgar or discriminatory language.
- If you do not follow these rules, don't be surprised if your comment is removed.
- Please use the Report Abuse button on offensive comments.
- Share what you know, ask about what you don't. Give us your eyewitness accounts, observations, background and history. Tell us what else you want to know about the story.
- Stay on the topic, PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK, and forgive people their spelling errors.
Noozhawk's intent is not to limit the discussion of our stories but to elevate it. Thank you for your respectful participation. Click here for our complete Terms of Use.
Comments are moderated, and will not appear until they've been approved.
» on 01.18.10 @ 12:11 AM
I’m giggling extra loud because I saw you guys at Costco the other day. Too funny!
» on 01.18.10 @ 10:54 AM
I refer to COSTCO as the Cultural Center of Goleta.
» on 01.18.10 @ 02:15 PM
Costco is definitely where you see all types. It’s almost as good as state street for people watching.
» on 01.18.10 @ 02:51 PM
Once I made it out of Costco in less than an hour and spending less than $100. Once.
» on 01.18.10 @ 03:20 PM
who Cares???
» on 01.18.10 @ 04:35 PM
For those of us who have been here a long time it is really funny to see the boundaries of the town expand “way out” to Goleta. I’d still put downtown as the cultural center through. ... or the beach!
» on 01.18.10 @ 06:46 PM
I once made it out of Costco in less than an hour and spent over $700 . . . but I had a list!
» on 01.18.10 @ 07:16 PM
funny article and thanks for the Alma Rosa tip. That’s one of the best bargain wines out there.
» on 01.18.10 @ 10:27 PM
Oh course I knew you run into everyone at Costco. I always allow extra time too. But I had no idea about the sea urchins. You guys are just full of interesting information.
» on 01.19.10 @ 10:20 AM
I was away from my computer yesterday and missed my Monday morning chuckle from Z & L. You guys always make me laugh ... thanks. I needed it today.
» on 01.19.10 @ 10:30 AM
I’m laughing at this because I spent a half hour in the parking lot yesterday—in the rain—catching up with an old colleague from about 10 years ago. Goleta really is the place to be.
» on 01.19.10 @ 11:56 AM
I once went to Costco and bought just a broiled chicken. But it only happened once.
» on 01.19.10 @ 01:27 PM
Just heard a water spout ripped the roof off some houses out near Costco. Don’t go there today unless you really have to.
» on 01.20.10 @ 03:16 PM
That’s funny you would write about this because just the other day my husband and I were saying that Costco is one of the few places in town we run into people from everywhere in our lives (work, school, running, gym, band, etc.). Sad that it may be the center of our cultural universe, but it’s amusing just the same. Thanks.
» on 01.24.10 @ 09:41 AM
Dean - There has to be one person out there who makes a not-so-veiled reference to how things were “back in the day” when he was in Santa Barbara long before the rest of us were here. Today, it is you.
More Local News »
She Said, Z Said: Sweet 16 ... and the Smell of Sweaty Socks
A milestone anniversary that officially breaks with a tradition of nongifts
She Said, Z Said: Cashing In on S**t His Dad Says
Hey, if a 29-year-old can get some sweet treats for his tweets, why can't we?
She Said, Z Said: In Verizon vs. Cox, We All Lose Patience
Looking for better Internet, phone and TV service, don't forget to give yourself plenty of time
She Said, Z Said: The TV Reality Is There’s No Escape
Television lineup just goes to show you that we may have to get with the program
She Said, Z Said: Film Festival Questions Full of Whack
Everyone's a screenwriter when there's an open mic
Weather: Fair 58.0º
Search Noozhawk »
