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She Said, Z Said: Who Are Your Celebrity Doppelgangers?
Z: When I was growing up, I never looked like anyone famous.
She: People used to say I looked like Linda Ronstadt, and Jeaney on I Dream of Jeannie.
Z: Jeaney? How is it Jeaney, not Jeannie?
She: I mean Jeannie’s evil sister, Jeaney, in the black wig. Also, Velma Dinkley from Scooby Doo and Big Bird from Sesame Street.
Z: Big Bird. Sweet. I scored in the wife department.
She: I think that was more of a height thing than a covered-with-yellow-feathers thing.
Z: I always looked like me — at least until I grew my hair long. Then I had flight attendants on Southwest begging me to sing Peter Frampton songs, small women in Bali chasing after me yelling, “Michael Booolton, Michael Booolton!” and women in sushi bars mistaking me for Weird Al Yankovich.
She: One of the more horrifying moments of my life was having Weird Al’s date mistakenly sidle up to you. Ugh. I didn’t mind being married to Kenny G or Peter Horton, but definitely could have passed on being with Weird Al.
Z: The final straw for me was the day somebody thought I looked like Andy Dick. That’s the day I pretty much shaved my head.
She: And that was before he was legally charged as a pervert! The funny thing is that I don’t think any of those guys really looked like one another or like you. The only defining characteristic you all shared was your long, curly hair.
Z: This is why the celebrity face recognition software on MyHeritage.com and Doppleganger week on Facebook are cracking me up.
She: That’s why it’s cracking you up?
Z: OK, really it’s because of who it said was yours and Koss’ celebrity twins, but we’ve got to save that for a big reveal at the end.
She: We are so not sharing that.
Z: MyHeritage.com scans a picture of your face, and then it gives you a statistical percentage of what celebrity you most look like.
She: But it’s clearly random. It has to be.
Z: For me, I think it was really just focusing on my glasses, because I got a bunch of guys who wear glasses. The top few were Harold Ramis, Neil Diamond and Roger Daltry.
She: Old guys.
Z: And James Van Der Beek.
She: Sure …
Z: So then I tried some old pictures of me without glasses.
She: And?
Z: Really just a string of embarrassingly handsome men. What can I say?
She: More proof that the program is totally inaccurate.
Z: I also got the Armenian drummer from System of a Down, John Dolmayan.
She: No idea who that is.
Z: Me neither, but he’s the only guy who was one of my twins from more than one photo.
She: The whole thing is ridiculous and grossly unscientific.
Z: You’re just saying that because of your twins. And the winners are …
She: Fine. I’m secure enough to share. I think it’s funny that it said I looked like Jeff Goldblum, Meryl Streep and Queen Latifah. Because clearly, they all look a lot like one another.
Z: That is so hot. Now I’m married to Big Bird and Jeff Goldblum. Super sweet.
She: I read somewhere that Queen Latifah is actually the love child of Jeff Goldblum and Meryl Streep.
Z: Why is it that everyone on Facebook posted doppelgangers who are prettier than they are, but ours are clearly uglier?
She: It is kind of funny. Do you think Courteney Cox had Megan Fox’s picture up this week? I heard Clay Aiken put up Zac Ephron’s picture.
Z: I really wish I didn’t know who any of those people were.
She: I also uploaded George Clooney’s picture to MyHeritage.com to see who it thought he looked like.
Z: Let me guess: George Clooney?
She: Unfortunately, yeah. He got a 96 percent match with himself. Lucky guess. But the No. 3 and 4 people he looks like? David Carradine and Mikhail Gorbachev.
Z: I knew it! He is a commie! This program is dead-on. Especially when it compared me to Ethan Hawke and … wait for it … Clooney.
She: Be still my heart. Unfortunately, that’s absolutely absurd.
Z: OK. So, who is Koss’ celebrity twin?
She: He got Dakota Fanning as a 99 percent look-alike.
Z: She must be so honored.
She: Yes, dear.
— Who are your celebrity doppelgangers? Tell She and Z by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
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» on 02.07.10 @ 11:01 PM
You had me at Jeaney. For some reason that always struck as the funniest part of I Dream of Jeannie. You guys crack me up every time.
» on 02.08.10 @ 12:03 PM
So glad you wrote about the doppelganger. I’ve been laughing at these on facebook all week. I love how people indirectly flatter themselves with these.
» on 02.08.10 @ 12:10 PM
Don’t feel bad Zak. I got Abe Vigoda as my doppelganger ... and when I told my wife she said, “I can see that.”
Wish I got his paycheck from that Superbowl commercial instead of just his schnoz!
Tim T.
» on 02.08.10 @ 12:11 PM
So cute. I got Tina Fey as my doppelganger and I know she’s much prettier.
» on 02.08.10 @ 03:19 PM
Another Monday giggle courtesy of She and Z. Thanks, guys.
» on 02.08.10 @ 11:21 PM
Marianne from Giligan’s Island was always mine.
» on 02.09.10 @ 04:41 AM
Yeah, Weird Al onstage can be manic and random to the nth degree, but it’s pretty obvious that Mrs. Yankovic thinks she scored in the huz department. Which she did. Al offstage is intelligent, kind and still funny, without riccocheting off the walls.
» on 02.09.10 @ 10:16 AM
I always thought Leslie looked like the woman on Damages, Rose Byrne, not Glen Glose (give it another 60 years maybe). As for Zak, Michael Bolton all the way dude. It wasn’t just the hair. Take a look at him now then look in the mirror.
-Peg
» on 02.09.10 @ 10:24 AM
You had me at Dakota Fanning! I’ve never noticed that before but there is a striking resemblance.
» on 02.09.10 @ 11:25 PM
I was cracking up at the Dakota Fanning thing too. Very funny column all around. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
» on 02.09.10 @ 11:26 PM
The doppelganger thing is fun but with Facebook’s new screwed up interface who knows how much longer it’s going to be the networking site of choice.
» on 02.09.10 @ 11:49 PM
I can’t believe how much press this doppelganger thing has gotten. At least yours was sort of funny!
» on 02.10.10 @ 10:10 AM
I’ve always found Weird Al kind of weirdly cute too. Don’t be insulted by that. Andy Dick is much, much worse!
» on 02.10.10 @ 10:12 AM
You guys crack me up. I can’t wait till you take on the color of your bra thing!
» on 02.10.10 @ 10:31 AM
I must be out of the loop. I signed on to Facebook the other day and wondered why so many of my friends had cast taller, prettier people as themselves.
» on 02.10.10 @ 09:57 PM
I’m so glad I’m not the only one with an average looking doppelganger. Thanks, guys.
» on 02.10.10 @ 10:15 PM
I have no idea what you guys really look like but I picture Carol Burnett and Ed Asner the way you make me laugh.
» on 02.11.10 @ 07:43 AM
Just saw the Ed Asner comment - sorry guys, but that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all week.
» on 02.11.10 @ 09:07 AM
think this column is funny…
» on 02.13.10 @ 12:13 PM
After seeing the film festival panel last night I think I’m a dead ringer for Roger Durling. Who knew?
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