- Home
- News Grid
- Local News
- Green Hawk
- Business
- Politics
- School Zone
- Nonprofits
- Missing Pets
- Multimedia
- Arts
- Movies
- Outdoors
- Sports
- News Releases
- Columnists
- Blogs
- Opinions
- Classifieds
- Advertise
- Donate
- Partners
She Said, Z Said: So You Wanna Be a Rock Star
She: Do those mysterious UPS packages that have been showing up on our doorstep all month mean you’ve finally moved on to Plan B?
Z: Plan who?
She: Plan B. You always used to say that if your writing career didn’t work out you wanted to be a rock star. I’m assuming that those microphone stands and speakers and mixers that have started showing up mean you’re working on Plan B.
Z: Plan what?
She: C’mon. Leather pants and a soundboard? How dense do you think I am?
Z: How did you know those were leather pants? They were supposed to come in a plain, brown wrapper.
She: Honey, I know you’re excited about all of your new toys.
Z: Whoo Ha! (While playing a vicious air guitar version of “Bubbly” by Colbie Caillat.)
She: But it’s not like the music industry is any easier to break into than Hollywood.
Z: And you know this because of your vast experience with humming along slightly off-key to the radio?
She: Hey, I used to work security at the Santa Barbara Bowl. I’ve done my time in the music industry.
Z: I forgot about that angry mob you confronted at the Jackson Browne concert.
She: You mock my hard-earned wisdom, but I’m telling you, this music thing will break your heart.
Z: I’m just playing around with some stuff.
She: Are you at all concerned that you don’t play any instruments and don’t have any discernable musical talent?
Z: It will just be all that much more spectacular when I start stealing away Taylor Swift’s audience.
She: This is who you’re going after? As long as you’re fantasizing, why not aspire to compete with U2, or Springsteen?
Z: Because that would be ridiculous. I’m quite sure I’ll be able to fill arenas, but stadiums? Please.
She: Good, level-headed thinking.
Z: You know that becoming a rock star has always been my backup plan. What about you?
She: I was going to get in early on Google stock, but it’s looking more and more like that boat has sailed.
Z: I remember long ago when we were young and in love, you tried to make me marry rich and then kill my wife so that we could run off together.
She: That was Plan C.
Z: Ahh, romance.
She: Unfortunately, most of my backup plans involve having money already. It seems that I’m most interested in doing things that cost money, and least interested in doing things that make money.
Z: That sounds about right.
She: If I could reverse those for just a year, I could probably afford to make all my Plan Bs come true.
Z: A girl’s got to dream.
She: I need a job where someone pays me to go travel the world, see great performances and eat great food, but not really expect anything from me beyond sincere gratitude.
Z: Perfect. You can be a roadie for my first European tour.
She: You’re missing the part where I don’t have to do anything beyond smile.
Z: OK. Fine. You can play the tambourine.
She: Plan D.
Z: Yes, dear.
— Share your musical dreams — and career suggestions — with She and Z by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
Comments
Noozhawk's comments are moderated, but by posting here you accept your responsibility to follow our rules as part of Noozhawk's shared online community. Please keep your comments civil and helpful. Don't attack other readers personally, and do not use vulgar, abusive or discriminatory language. Use the "Report Abuse" link if a comment violates these standards or our Terms of Use.
» on 07.04.10 @ 08:32 AM
If your music is anything like your columns then I’ll eagerly wait to read it. Thanks guys.
You don't have permission to flag this entry.
More Local News »
She Said, Z Said: Tips and Tricks for Navigating the Film Festival-Sponsored-by-Lynda.com
A little blue door is a window to a different side of the Arlington Theatre, but could you get to the point with your question for the panelists?
She Said, Z Said: Is Facebook Our Friend or Foe?
Let's face it, sometimes we just don't want to be social with our network — despite reports of mind-blowing sex
She Said, Z Said: It’s Hard to Resist Disneyland’s Lure — Bad Breaks and All
You're in Fantasyland if you think nothing ever goes wrong in the Magic Kingdom, but it's still worth the rides
She Said, Z Said: Kid’s 1st Concert Brings Back Memories of Bob Marley ... and Gordon Lightfoot?
Except in this experience, three's a crowd and there's no smoke
She Said, Z Said: What This Town Needs Is a Manly Man Mall
It's Hi-Time guys had a place to tackle shopping for themselves, Hook, Line & Sinker — and with a Chinese Dragon Massage
Weather: Fair with Haze 58.0º
Search Noozhawk »
