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She Said, Z Said: Is That a Big Target on Your Back?
She: I’m really getting sick of all of these e-mail petitions asking me to help bring Target to Santa Barbara.
Z: I don’t think I got that one — unless it was cleverly disguised as cheap Canadian Viagra.
She: It used to be that everyone in town was opposed to big box stores just on principle.
Z: What principle?
She: You know the one, that big stores are evil. That national chains exploit foreign manufacturers, export their profits out of state and exploit low-wage workers in local communities.
Z: Thank you, comrade.
She: It was a tried and true formula: chain stores = bad; mom & pop = good. It was considered un-American not to hate big box stores, and all was right with the world.
Z: And no mini-malls! And down with mean people!
She: Remember when Goleta ended at the corner of Kmart and Jack In The Box?
Z: Dad would check the air pressure in the tires before we drove that far.
She: Now that the Goodland stopped planting lemon groves and started growing big box stores, and a lot of people not only wish we had a Target here, they’re actively working to try to bring one.
Z: And you don’t want that?
She: Seriously. What does it say about me that I’m in a demographic where being against Target is politically incorrect?
Z: Dear, sweet, mercy. You’re coming out against this publicly? There goes 40 years of good will. People used to love you.
She: What is going on with people who have absolutely no financial stake in bringing Target to town fighting for it anyway? How does that make sense?
Z: I’m not sure if Koss and I are willing to throw ourselves on the grenade for this one. People love a cute kid. I’m going to stand behind him.
She: It’s not that I hate Target. I can appreciate two pairs of flip flops for $5 or a 24-pack of pencils for 50 cents as much as the next gal, but we don’t need any more big box stores in Santa Barbara.
Z: We’ll change our names and move to Summerland. No one will know us out there.
She: And we especially don’t need any more big box stores in Santa Barbara that are really in Goleta, so that Santa Barbara gets all the money and Goleta gets all the traffic.
Z: I wonder if I can get a good job in Summerland? Maybe I can polish antiques at a mom & pop store.
She: It’s not fair to Goleta. We’re next-door neighbors, for goodness sake; we need to get along.
Z: We’ll be like that family in Running on Empty.
She: If Target were to replace Kmart, I’d be OK with that. Or if it went into another existing empty retail space, say in La Cumbre Plaza, that would be fine, too, I guess.
Z: I wonder how I’d look as a redhead? I’ll have to start putting Koss in dresses, and calling him Kossette. Very Les Mis.
She: But the idea that people “need” to go to Ventura or Santa Maria or Camarillo because they “need” to shop at Target is ridiculous. And the idea that otherwise rational people are putting their precious time and energy into petitions to bring Target to town just blows my mind.
Z: Nothing to see here, folks. Ignore the crazy lady.
She: On the other hand, if we did get a Target, maybe I’d finally understand what’s so funny about that Saturday Night Live skit.
Z: Yes, dear.
If you want to contact the lady with the target on her forehead (or her husband), e-mail .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
Comments
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» on 07.20.09 @ 11:12 AM
If u had to live near the traffic and aggression of big box shoppers u wouldn’t want one here either. ventura is not that far to drive for cheap crap made in china.
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» on 07.20.09 @ 11:57 AM
Hey - if we’re adding big box stores, let’s add a Toys R Us too. But, I stop short of adding a Chuck E Cheese - I can’t stand that place.
As for locations, there’s an open space in the Cosco mall - we certainly don’t need to make any more shopping centers, but I don’t have any problems with the big retailers.
Apparently, Santa Barbarians are more adverse to driving more than 10 minutes than big box stores - at least Goleta isn’t as far as Ventura.
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» on 07.20.09 @ 12:18 PM
There’s a Dollar store in Goleta where you can get the same crap made in China for.. a dollar. I guess it’s cheaper because they import it to Mexico first.
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» on 07.20.09 @ 04:17 PM
Oh Leslie,
How can you be against Target? I’ve seen you shop there. You know you secretly want it. How can you resist the lure of bargain fashion. I hope you’ll come to your senses soon.
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» on 07.20.09 @ 08:22 PM
I’m with you, keep Target out of town and patronize the mom & pops. We’ll all be sorry when they’re gone. Thanks for writing about this very serious issue in a funny way.—Kelly G.
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» on 07.20.09 @ 09:27 PM
Oy? Target again? When will they figure out that we don’t want—or need—them here.
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» on 07.20.09 @ 10:38 PM
Target has its own line of inexpensive, decent enough clothes and home goods and various other things.
The stuff at KMart isn’t as stylish and smells funny. As for whose sales it might cannibalize, that would be Ross, KMart, maybe Big-5… mom & pop shops can’t get by selling stuff at this price point, and there are plenty of people who can’t afford to spend more who deserve an alternative to KMart.
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» on 07.21.09 @ 05:45 AM
It’s interesting that our KMart and Ross are so different from those in other towns. If you go to Ross in a non coastal area, one that has a middle class, it is a reasonably organized shopping alternative. Here, it is like a third world bazaar, complete with pick pockets.
If Target comes, will it be different?
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» on 07.21.09 @ 06:31 AM
Thank God Leslie is anti-Target. I’m surprised at the level of common sense.
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» on 07.21.09 @ 08:20 AM
Supporting Mom & Pops is a great idea but how do you get the greedy land lords of SB to quit raising the rent so high that they force them out of business. How many business in SB have closed for that reason so why are you blaming the big stores? It’s the people who own the retail space who are squeezing the life out of small buisness to get the big stores in here… and these are people who live in SB…. need to point the finger at them!!!!!
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» on 07.21.09 @ 08:20 AM
Supporting Mom & Pops is a great idea but how do you get the greedy land lords of SB to quit raising the rent so high that they force them out of business. How many business in SB have closed for that reason so why are you blaming the big stores? It’s the people who own the retail space who are squeezing the life out of small buisness to get the big stores in here… and these are people who live in SB…. need to point the finger at them!!!!!
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» on 07.21.09 @ 09:38 AM
Aren’t you anti-target people the same stuck up, condescending, arrogant, self absorbed, narcissistic, SOB’s that think because you live here you are special? Got news for you, you ain’t. Your condescending remarks show in full vivid color the shallow, asinine, selfish nature that has become the culture of Santa Barbara elitism. As for Susie Q, you are right about rents, but tell us Susie, do you own commercial property? Do you have any investments? When you buy stock in companies, do you demand a return on your investment? You want to point your ignorant finger start with the “I got mine, screw everyone else” NIMBYs. Stopping growth in a high demand market drives up prices, get a clue, then turn that crooked finger at your local government composed of the worst form of incompetent, obstructionist, leaderless panderers ever known. That is why your mom and pops are going out of business. That and our nation’s idiotic lurch toward socialism which BTW favors large corporations at the expense of small businesses. When oh when will you twits ever get a freaking clue?
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» on 07.22.09 @ 12:17 PM
Repeat after me: “Tarjay go away. Mom and Pops please stay!.”
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» on 07.26.09 @ 07:15 PM
Don’t disrespect me when I get in my SUV to drive 45 miles to a Target to get a choice of merchandise I don’t get here in sleepy Santa Barbara. Why should I accept paying more for things that cost much less in any other county in this state. For goodness sakes, gas costs more here than in other counties too. This is what our “sunshine” lifestyle costs us.
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» on 07.27.09 @ 03:14 PM
I’m not generally a fan of big-box shopping malls, but there are ways to integrate larger stores into an urban/downtown setting without destroying the character of an area. The stores can be multi-level and integrated into other shopping areas, with parking in a garage rather than a huge lot. Option no. 1 would be to just place the store in the empty Linens and Things spot, but it could go downtown in an integrated, mixed-use structure too. There’s probably enough square footage in those empty multi-million dollar condos on Chapala street already! Lower income folks need a place to shop too. Let’s not forget that Juicy Couture, Restoration Hardware, Lucky Jeans, Macys, etc. are NOT mom and pop stores. Shopping areas that serve the less-than-loaded are being pushed out of town. From my understanding, the Carrows, Laundry Mat and other useful stores on Carrillo are soon to be replaced by a high-end development, as is the Vons on Chapala.
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» on 07.27.09 @ 05:25 PM
93101, another citizen who “gets it”. Time to stop the conversion of SB into a red tile tourist version of Beverly Hills. Like your ideas on multi level structures. At mid town the water table is low enough to throw two levels of parking underground. The first two or three above ground levels would be the retail outlet with another level or two on top for commercial or residential. You could get up to 120,000 sqft of retail in three levels on a 200 ft sq building with 80,000 sqft of parking. Just means shutting the preservative soaked formaldehyde convention down long enough to actually get something done. Or just let SB go broke like the rest of the state. Poverty and starvation has a way of bringing people back to reality sometimes, unless they die first.
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