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She Said, Z Said: Two-Cent Opera
Z: I feel like a bad man for not loving the opera.
She: I thought you liked the opera.
Z: I didn’t hate the opera. I just didn’t love the opera.
She: I enjoyed the opera. Of course, the cocktails probably helped.
Z: I wasn’t completely in it. At one point, when there was a dramatic silence, I almost screamed out, “You lie!” Apparently, I wasn’t swept away.
She: I don’t think I know enough about opera to be swept away.
Z: I definitely don’t. I’ve only seen one other opera, and I didn’t love that one either.
She: You don’t have to love opera. Just seeing the women in their gowns and the men in their tuxes was worth the price of admission.
Z: I feel like a bad man for not owning a top hat.
She: We were embarrassingly underdressed, but once I got over that I really enjoyed myself.
Z: But I love musical theater, so it seems like it should follow that I would love opera. Especially since this one, Séance on a Wet Afternoon, was written by Stephen Schwartz, who also wrote Godspell and Wicked. I love the man’s musicals.
She: So do I. Which is why I really liked it. Of course, I also have a thing for Ouija boards and men in tuxedos.
Z: I wish I could say I didn’t love it because I didn’t understand it, but it was in English.
She: It was?
Z: And the story was good, and it had a good twist at the end. I’m thinking the problem may have been that it was an opera.
She: No false advertising there.
Z: It’s impossible for me to watch someone sing in a big, operatic voice something like, “Open the door,” without thinking it’s a huge parody.
She: “Kill the rabbit, kill the rabbit.”
Z: There’s an opera I love.
She: So you would have liked it better if there were more jokes?
Z: Aria kidding? Of course, I would have.
She: How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
Z: Is this a mafia joke?
She: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Z: I don’t really know if this is helping. You think you can improve high art with low humor?
She: You’ll like it even better if I sing. Do re me fa so la ti ... How do you tell if a tenor is dead?
Z: How?
She: There’s still wine left in the bottle.
Z: Noble try, but you’re still not making me love opera the way I wish I did. I’m snobby about so many other things, why can’t I be snobby about this?
She: That’s OK; you’re in good company. Mark Twain said, “I hate the very name of opera — partly because of the nights of suffering I have endured in its presence, and partly because I want to love it and can’t.”
Z: It’s not like I fell asleep. This Twain dude is clearly uncultured.
She: Then there’s Molière: “Of all the noises known to man, opera is the most expensive.” But you know what I always say about opera?
Z: Given that we discuss it maybe once every 10 years, no.
She: It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.
Z: Yes, dear.
— When She and Z aren’t out attempting to get some culture, they can be reached at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
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» on 10.05.09 @ 09:41 AM
I saw the show and thought it was wonderful. Thanks for helping bring attention to this great local treasure.
» on 10.05.09 @ 09:48 AM
Aria kidding? I almost lost my coffee over that one!
» on 10.05.09 @ 10:24 AM
Still chuckling!
» on 10.05.09 @ 10:47 AM
Have to agree. Something about the singing conversation in English. At least in Italian I can’t understand any of it.
Got to agree with Mark Twain and Zak on this one.
» on 10.05.09 @ 01:12 PM
I cannot believe this article. Do you even realize how much work and effort was put in this production?
» on 10.05.09 @ 01:29 PM
I always laugh at this column, but this one made me howl (in a baritone). Thanks guys.
» on 10.06.09 @ 08:09 AM
The show was wonderful but opera is not for everyone, obviously. Thanks for helping to bring some attention to this worthy effort.
» on 10.06.09 @ 12:41 PM
Sad to say, bad jokes about the fat lady singing actually do ( and continue to) perpetuate a myth about opera being loud, boring, etc. Hasn’t anyone seen or heard the gorgeous Renee Fleming, or petite French soprano Natalie Dessay, or the fiery Anna Netrebko? Not to mention the “hot’ young men who have ascended to operatic stardom of late. It’s not your grandparents opera any more, folks.
Recent new operas like like “View from a Bridge” (in which “Seance” lead Kim Josephson had the leading role), and this fine new opera from Stephen Schwartz, are captivating new audiences world-wide because they are contemporary in every way. The nearly thousand students who filled The Granada for the final dress rehearsal of “Seance on a Wet Afternoon” nearly blew the roof off with cheers and wild applause. They loved it and their first opera experience will most assuredly not be their last.
The hit musical “Rent” hardly makes any apologies for lifting melody and story from “La Boheme.” And when the Met opened its season a couple of weeks ago, thousands of people filled Times Square to see “Tosca” broadcast live on a giant screen. Z and She better step out of (her) comfort zone once in a while because (she) is missing out on some fantastic moments in performing arts. By dissing an art form that has prevailed for hundreds of years She and Z ignore the fact that opera has the power to touch the human heart like no other performing art because it incorporates all the elements of music, singing, acting and—surprisingly often—dance. Keep an open mind and experience today’s opera. Check out the Met live HD broadcasts for the mere investment of a movie ticket on a Saturday morning. Opera rocks!
» on 10.10.09 @ 06:58 AM
As a tenor (though I don’t get the joke about alcohol), I have to say that I too love to sing in Italian, but never quite appreciated opera’s hugeness. An old NPR story said that opera is controlled screaming, not unlike punk music. In fact, they claimed that punk fans are the new opera fans. But, I just never quite got. “Aria kidding” made me laugh out loud!
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