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She Said, Z Said: To-Do List To-Do
She: Augh!
Z: I didn’t do it.
She: And that’s exactly the problem.
Z: My bad. I did do it?
She: No, you didn’t. You never do it because you don’t write anything down, and you don’t remember anything.
Z: Why should I write things down? I don’t have enough to do that I should write things down. I keep a mental list.
She: But then you forget things.
Z: If I wrote things down, then I’d forget to look at the list. Especially since it would be a list of two things for the month. Why would I be checking a list all the time for two things?
She: You only have to remember two things because I write everything down.
Z: See? My system is flawless. I remember everything.
She: No, you don’t. You remember nothing. And you take no responsibility when you forget everything.
Z: I don’t recall that being the case.
She: I wanted you to print me some labels for two weeks, and you kept forgetting them every day.
Z: No. I made them the very first day you asked me to.
She: And?
Z: And then I forgot to bring them home for two weeks. But I made them, which proves that I can remember things.
She: Just not to bring them home.
Z: Exactly.
She: I guess if you kept a list then you would have had to put two things on it: one, print labels and two, bring them home.
Z: See? Only two things. What’s the point?
She: It’s like when you remember to go grocery shopping but then forget that you have to take the groceries out of the trunk of the car and then put them away in the kitchen.
Z: I can’t be expected to do everything. I remember the important things.
She: You mean like Hollywood pitch meetings?
Z: I only ever forgot about a couple of those. And that was more than 10 years ago. Which, when you think about it, is hugely reassuring. My forgetting things isn’t new, I’ve always done that.
She: Which is why you should write stuff down.
Z: I know you’re the goddess of the Franklin system, but I simply can’t wrap my mind around doing the amount of work that you do on that thing.
She: It’s not work; it’s stress release. I write things down and then I don’t have to remember them because they’re on my list. I don’t understand why it has to be so complicated.
Z: It’s not. I have a mental list. And a wife.
She: You and Koss are both hopeless when it comes to remembering practical things. Ridiculously useless information sticks in your brains, but not the very basics. One, take off socks; two, put socks in hamper; three, take off shoes; four, put shoes in closet.
Z: That’s my boy. I was never more proud of our child than I was this week.
She: Did he save a drowning woman from a shark? Or better, bring her back to life with his impressive knowledge about the difference between tiger shark’s teeth and sand shark’s teeth?
Z: Nah. You got mad at him for not remembering to do his math homework before 9 o’clock at night, and told him that he needs to start writing stuff down, to make a list.
She: It’s never too early to start on the Franklin.
Z: And then he said — I kid you not — “But then I would just forget to look at the list. I’ve got two things to remember. Why should I make a list?” Be still my heart. I’m going to go buy him a bike.
She: Like you’ll remember to do that. He’s still waiting for you to remember to fix the tire on the Big Wheel he had when he was 4.
Z: He’ll forget about that.
She: It’s been on your “mental” list for years, right after “buy a new Walkman” and “replace goofy looking glasses with something from this century.” Augh!
Z: Yes, dear.
— When She and Z aren’t making a list and not checking it twice, they can be reached at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
Comments
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» on 10.12.09 @ 05:57 AM
Dear Franklin Goddess,
I am proud of you. I have used my Franklin daily for 20 years.
Franklin God
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» on 10.12.09 @ 09:31 AM
I too am a big fan of lists, and battle with my husband about writing things down. Somehow I always relate to what you guys write. Thanks!
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» on 10.12.09 @ 09:49 AM
Once again, you have my morning coffee practically coming out of my nose! Your writing always rings so true. Thanks.
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» on 10.12.09 @ 01:27 PM
REading this column is always at the top of my to do list. Thanks, guys.
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» on 10.12.09 @ 01:36 PM
Oh this made me laugh. I always try to get my husband to do a “to do” list and he has the same excuses. You guys hit the nail on the head with this one.
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» on 10.12.09 @ 11:36 PM
“One, take off socks; two, put socks in hamper; three, take off shoes; four, put shoes in closet.”
Just wondering how you get the socks off before the shoes.
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» on 10.13.09 @ 07:35 AM
This is so tedious, inane, and not funny.
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» on 10.13.09 @ 08:21 AM
Hey, London -
Doh! You’re right.
I guess if he had made a list, it wouldn’t have been a problem.
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» on 10.14.09 @ 09:06 AM
Maybe I have a simple mind, but I’m laughing out loud!
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» on 10.17.09 @ 07:57 AM
This is spot-on for the dynamic between me and my husband. I especially identify with you for the reason I make lists, so I don’t have remember everything! If not for the lists, nothing significant would ever get done.
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» on 10.17.09 @ 08:08 PM
I am a writer of no mean talent, and every time I cave and read this insipid and uninspired column, I think to myself ...
Why?
How?
Whom do they know?
But then talent has bever been a requirement for success in American society. Keep pitching those Hollywood deals, Z. If ever there was an industry that rewarded mediocrity ...
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» on 10.18.09 @ 10:00 AM
LOL- thanks for putting it into words - I know the feeling.
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» on 10.21.09 @ 08:42 PM
My wife and have had this same discussion so many times. You always crack me up!
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