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She Said, Z Said: You Are Now Free to Leave the Cabin
She: Did you hear about the 2-year-old who was kicked off of the Southwest Airlines flight?
Z: Was he drunk and unruly?
She: I don’t know about the drunken part, but apparently he was loud.
Z: Our friend, Albert, is loud and he travels all the time. I wonder if he ever gets kicked off?
She: The kid was screaming, “I want Daddy!” and “Go plane! Go!” so loudly that people couldn’t hear the safety instructions. They actually turned the plane around and returned to the gate so they could boot him off the plane.
Z: I’m guessing that’s not what Albert screams. Well, maybe the “Go plane! Go!” thing.
She: Can you imagine this happening to you? Your 2-year-old — did I mention that he was 2? — is acting up, and they delay a flight so they can kick him off.
Z: Did the mom get to stay on the plane? I’ll bet she tried.
She: Have these people never met a 2-year-old? Sometimes 2-year-olds will scream things. Sometimes they’ll even have tantrums, and not be the most rational creatures in the world. It’s all a part of being 2.
Z: I’ve flown with those kids before. I think it’s easier to let them out of the plane at 30,000 feet.
She: I get that traveling with screaming babies and toddlers is a drag, but flying is different. People have to fly to get places. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would want to fly with a 2-year-old if there was a better way to get there. Unfortunately, bikes, trains, buses and cars aren’t going to get you everywhere you need to go. And we all learned how dangerous it is for kids to travel by balloon.
Z: I keep waiting for them to invent that transport device on Star Trek. We have the communicators (cell phones), why can’t we have the teleporters?
She: You don’t seem to be as annoyed by this as I am.
Z: I’m jealous that the 2-year-old got to go on a plane. I didn’t get to fly anywhere until I was 18, and our kid didn’t get to go anywhere until he was 8.
She: Having no money is a whole other thing.
Z: I don’t know. I think it points out that you don’t have to fly anywhere when you’re 2-years-old. You can choose to, but you don’t have to. I think a lot of parents in the middle of their child’s tantrum phase forget that it’s just a phase, decide that the rest of their life is going to involve a screaming child, and try to go about their business normally.
She: Sure. We’ve all had those moments of praying “please don’t sit near me, please don’t sit near me,” when you see the mom coming down the aisle with a 2-year-old in tow, but that doesn’t mean you can kick them off the plane.
Z: Apparently it does.
She: So what about all those screaming toddlers that the rest of us have been stuck on planes with? If I can’t get those 20-but-feels like-20-million-hours of my life back, can I at least get quadruple frequent flier miles?
Z: Or what about those restaurant meals we’ve had ruined by someone’s obnoxious kids?
She: It’s different when it comes to restaurants. If you bring your screaming child to a nice restaurant, it’s not that hard to get up and take the kid outside for a while. You gambled, you lose your appetizer.
Z: OK.
She: Same thing with movies. I remember trying to take Koss to movies when he was a baby and nurse him through. I saw the first half of a lot of movies.
Z: I don’t want to give away the endings, but it was all a dream.
She: But planes are a different story. You can’t just take the kid out on the wing for a breather.
Z: Maybe Balloon Boy was on to something. No one’s going to kick you out of your balloon.
She: And what kid is going to have a tantrum when there’s a balloon involved?
Z: Yes, dear.
— Share your nightmare flight stories with She and Z by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
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» on 11.09.09 @ 10:57 AM
I am so with you on this one. Can I have all of those hours back that I’ve been stuck on planes with screaming kids?
» on 11.09.09 @ 04:54 PM
I still can’t believe there isn’t more to this story. We’ve all been on planes where we wish they’d put the screaming kids in dry dock. Why did they actually do it on this particular flight?
» on 11.09.09 @ 09:25 PM
I was once on a plane with my 2 1/2-year-old daughter, who screamed, “No grownups allowed!” for a full 45 minutes. If the woman in front of us had been willing to move over to the empty seat in front of me, instead of in front of my kid (who was playing with the tray and annoying her - it was when I made her stop due to the woman’s annoyed looks that she started screaming) the entire situation could have been avoided. When I first had kids, someone once told me to say to annoyed-looking businessmen on planes, “So who’s home taking care of yours?” Harrumph. I’m with Leslie on this one.
» on 11.09.09 @ 09:49 PM
I hadn’t heard about this. that poor woman. I can’t imagine getting kicked off the plane with a screaming kid. I hope Southwest gets its wrist slapped.
» on 11.10.09 @ 10:59 AM
I love that from Sarah’s comment, “so who’s home taking care of yours?” We’ve all been there.
» on 11.10.09 @ 04:33 PM
I hadn’t heard about this either. Interesting. I can see both perspectives though mostly I feel sorry for the mom having to reschedule wherever she was trying to go.
» on 11.10.09 @ 07:20 PM
Anyone who has to travel with a two year old has my sympathies—that goes for the parents and the fellow passengers!
» on 11.10.09 @ 07:46 PM
We never went anywhere with Caiden when he was 2, or three for thar matter!
» on 11.11.09 @ 12:15 PM
I never took my kids anywhere I couldn’t exit from easily until they were in school. It was just too stressful for me worrying about bumming out the other people.
» on 11.11.09 @ 05:50 PM
As a former flight attendant, I have had many children (and adults) I would have loved to kick off the plane. But we were never allowed to do that. I can’t imagine how bad it must ahve been to do this.
» on 11.11.09 @ 06:25 PM
I hadn’t heard about this. I can’t imagine how bad that kid must have been.
» on 11.11.09 @ 06:29 PM
Who’s this poor Albert guy you’re always picking on? Seriously, I feel bad for that guy.
» on 11.12.09 @ 10:59 AM
I have been on both sides of this aisle - traveling with a screaming, unhappy child and sitting near one I wasn’t related to - it’s unfortunate that the airline handled this so badly, but safety first. I’m sure the other passengers (not the mom) were cheering.
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