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Clay Nelson, Life Balance: Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up
I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on health care reform issues, but the topic has been on my mind. Waiting hours beyond a person’s scheduled appointment time and being bounced around from doctor to doctor and clinic to clinic inside of the Veteran’s Administration health care system will do that.
One thing I got out of my experience within the VA health care system is that the folks there are doing the best they can with what they have, which includes something other than the best of equipment and overburdened everything. Am I making the health care professionals who work inside of this system wrong? No. I do believe, however, that the administrators, our legislators, could do much better. Given the state of the VA health care system, one can’t help but worry about the potential for making an even greater mess of our nation’s overall health care system should the government begin to dabble there.
The second thing I got out of my experience was the reinforcement of something I teach quite often: If there is something you want that you don’t have, ask for it.
The truth is that I’ve never had trouble asking for what I want, but as I looked around at the faces of others waiting to be seen, I wondered if they would stand up for what they need and want or would allow themselves to be just another number.
Our lives our so busy, our businesses are under so much pressure, that we run to and from, accepting what others say without question. We don’t want to bother them and they are, after all, the professionals. I say, ask anyway!
Whether we are dealing with a family member, co-worker, health care professional, lawn service, etc., we can’t assume that what they think they know is correct. We can’t assume that the people around us know how we feel, what we want or the basis of our intent. In other words, we can’t read one another’s minds; therefore, if we want the best care, relationships, service, etc., we’ve got to communicate completely. There really is no other choice.
Make sure you have all of your questions answered. If you aren’t clear about why something is being done a certain way — whether you are at work, school or the doctor’s office — get clarification. Don’t assume that everyone involved in what you are doing has all the information they need, and for that matter, you can’t assume that you have all the information either. You have to ask.
Are you hesitant to ask? Give up worrying that you’re going to get in someone’s way. Give up that you’re going to be told no. Instead, become unstoppable in your own behalf.
Vigorously take on full communication everywhere, and make sure what you communicate gets through. When you have a question or a point you want to get across, ask the person you are speaking with for permission to “shoot straight.” If you’re going to break through your worries and speak what is on your mind, you better make sure you have their attention.
We all live our lives based on certain assumptions, set ways of doing things and our own agendas. You have yours and others — your family members, co-workers, health care providers, etc. — have theirs, and the only way to get everyone on the same page is to take the time and be committed to complete communication all of the time.
Think about how much time, effort and lives we could save, and even wars we could avoid, if we simply took the time to communicate, if we gave up assumptions, if we simply asked for what we wanted instead of making people guess our needs and wants.
You may think that full communication is far too simplistic of a resolve for life’s ills, but isn’t it at least the first big step in having the lives and world we say want to have?
Remember: If there’s something you want that you don’t have, ask for it.
That’s really all it takes to regain a say in how your life turns out. Take this step and take charge.
— Santa Barbara resident Clay Nelson founded Clay Nelson Life Balance™ to provide businesses and individuals with what may be missing in their lives: purpose, personal and business planning, fun, effective delegation through team management, and accountability. Click here to download Clay’s complimentary e-book, The Balanced Life — How to Put Fun, Family and Financial Freedom into Your Business and Personal Life. Click here to subscribe to the free podcast of The Clay Nelson Life Balance™ Hour.
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» on 05.19.09 @ 05:24 AM
35-years ago I went to a big city V.A. facility for medical care, I didn’t go back for 25-years. I am, in V.A. lingo, Service Connected - Purple Heart. I am hugely impressed with the Santa Barbara V.A. clinic and have been going there for 10-years. The professionalism and availability of care and treatment is excellent. No complaints for the V.A., other than moving some of the caregivers and facilities to Santa Maria. When I go to the Santa Maria V.A. facility, it’s like the Amtrak station at 3 A.M., empty. Thank you Lois Capps.
» on 05.19.09 @ 05:40 AM
I’d like to add that by using this advice with an honest and loving intent in your heart and a respectful approach, you will be rewarded in spades. Thanks, Clay for reminding us of our obligation to remain vigilent and in charge of how our lives unfold.
» on 05.21.09 @ 08:06 AM
I agree with M…I have found the VA Clinic in SB to be helpful and efficient. The VA prescription service to be the fastest and most reliable of any in SB and anywhere else.
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