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Clay Nelson, Life Balance: Keep Living — No Matter Your Stage of Life
This is a momentous week in the Nelson family. Our youngest child is graduating from high school and middle college. As a parent, I couldn’t be prouder. All of my kids have graduated, they are all employed or employable, and they have either started or completed their college studies. They all have integrity, direction and ownership of life. They know what it means to be unstoppable and responsible, and they care about other people. My kids are way cool, and most important, they still talk to me and their mom.
As we usher out one era and begin another, it has become clear to my wife and me that it is more than time to put the plan for what’s next for us into action. On Sunday afternoon, the flip-chart easel came out and we had a Nelson family board meeting. My wife and I are co-presidents of the board and, with a new sense of freedom and commitment to being active in this new phase of life, we have implemented the following:
» Date nights once a week
» Regular fitness and exercise goals
» Taking advantage of the educational offerings in the Santa Barbara area at least two times a month, including the local speakers featured regularly at the colleges
» Entertaining at home once a month
» Going to the beach two times a week
» Walking our English bulldog, Hitch, in our neighborhood seven days a week after 6 p.m.
» Eating healthier
» Practicing smiling more
» Planning Alaskan fishing trips, family geology trips and overnight motorcycle rides
» And many others.
The list, with specific dates and actions, is posted on a wall of our home for every family member to see and be present to. While the list reads like normal activities that couples share, the point in sharing it with you is plain and simple: to encourage you, at no matter what stage of life, to be in action.
Now don’t go getting all indignant wondering, “Who says I’m not in action and living a great life?” There is no right or wrong inside of this conversation. The late George Carlin hit the nail on the head when he said we tend to view our lives and our advancing years in the following way:
“Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m 4 and a half!’ You’re never 36 and a half. You’re 4 and a half, going on 5! That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
“‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16. And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You become 21. Yes!
“But then you turn 30. Oh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He turned; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
“You become 21, you turn 30, then you’re pushing 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you reach 50 and your dreams are gone. But wait! You make it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
“So you become 21, turn 30, push 40, reach 50 and make it to 60. You’ve built up so much speed that you hit 70. After that, it’s a day-by-day thing; you hit Wednesday!”
In other words, the older we get, the narrower our view of the world — and what is possible for us — becomes, and in actuality, our view should be the opposite. Just imagine how cool it would be to live life with the exuberance of that 4 1/2-year-old no matter how old you are.
We’ve got to stop living our lives from a place of: “My life is whatever percent over. Now what do I do?” We can’t stop participating in life because our kids graduate. We can’t stop participating in life because we’re retired. We can’t stop participating in life because we are unclear about — or afraid of — what’s next for us and the world as a whole.
We have a responsibility not only to ourselves but to the generations behind us to lead outrageous lives, to be in committed action with a direction, not to be stopped by anything or anyone. If we don’t show our children how to be all of these things, how will they learn to be in action themselves?
Now more than ever we are under the microscope of our children. We are being watched, and it is time to live what we speak. It is time to do what we’ve told our kids to do from the beginning. It is time to be in committed action with a direction. We’ve got to stop just thinking about how we want our lives to be and get present to what we are going to do to create an outrageous life that we love, have a plan and a solid direction, and go for it with the passion of a 4 1/2-year-old.
There are people rolling over and giving up all over the place. They’re overwhelmed, and the blahs are getting the best of them. I’m not immune either. I have days where I’d rather pack up the camping gear and live in a cave, but I have a responsibility to myself, my family, my clients and everyone I meet to make a difference, be a positive example and have an outrageous life. Otherwise, why have I been blessed with this life and these gifts?
You have your gifts and blessings, too — the fact that we have breath is a gift. So, if you have been slowed down for whatever reason and are ready to get restarted, what are you waiting for? All it takes to get into action is commitment, solid direction (a plan) and accountability.
How do you implement these steps? Get out a notepad and begin writing a plan (even a simple list) of what you want to do and by which dates you are going to do each item. Give that list to a friend or two and ask them to hold you accountable for what you wrote down. From there, it is all about you being in committed action everywhere. It really is no more difficult than that.
Remember: Only you have a say in how your life turns out. No one can ruin your day — your life — without your permission.
— Santa Barbara resident Clay Nelson founded Clay Nelson Life Balance™ to provide businesses and individuals with what may be missing in their lives: purpose, personal and business planning, fun, effective delegation through team management, and accountability. Click here to download Clay’s complimentary e-book, The Balanced Life — How to Put Fun, Family and Financial Freedom into Your Business and Personal Life. Click here to subscribe to the free podcast of The Clay Nelson Life Balance™ Hour.
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» on 06.03.09 @ 05:01 AM
Balance a tricky but important at any age. Goals are important too but Clay was right you need to be accountable whether it is a friend or coach.
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