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Clay Nelson, Life Balance: The Power of Appreciation
At my son CJ’s graduation ceremonies for high school and middle college (way to go, CJ!), I watched as amazing kids from all sorts of backgrounds got up and acknowledged the people who helped them become the young people we could see standing on the stage. I don’t know the young people who spoke at the ceremonies, but my chest still puffed up with pride and happiness for them. After all, they seem to have figured out what it takes to be great, and they know it takes a team to get there.
One young woman at the middle college graduation spoke of a special person who wasn’t afraid to drag her out of the pit she was digging and help her set a positive direction for her life. The person acknowledged this young woman’s potential, and now she stood acknowledging them. It was a powerful, poignant moment.
What occurred to me later as I thought about the day’s events was how most of us tend to save our acknowledgment of others for special events. As nice as acknowledgment on a grand scale is, acknowledgment in any form, on any day is just as powerful, if not more. The young woman’s story from the previous day is proof of that.
Think about your life and the things and people you assume, rather than acknowledging them for the gifts they are. We all do it. We assume great service in a restaurant, rather than going out of our way to acknowledge just how great the server was. We assume our families and the chores they do day in and day out. We assume that others know how great their potential is and that they are choosing another direction because they want to. We assume so much of what we have and the people in our lives that we don’t acknowledge the gifts that we have — and the potential we see in others — nearly as much as we should.
The power of acknowledgment is tremendous. What researchers call “positive interactions” are at the heart of good marriages, healthy development in children and successful businesses.
» University of Washington researchers discovered that couples who stay together tend to have five times more positive interactions than negative ones.
» The child development research of Betty Hart and Todd Risley found that “... children who are the most intelligent, self-confident and flexible ... at ages 6 to 8 had experienced five times more positive than negative interchanges with their parents by age 3.”
Their conclusion: Appreciation and acknowledgment nurture, breeding positive self-esteem in children and adults.
The more we can look at the world from a greater perspective — appreciate the simple things in life and give up our attempt to control those things clearly out of our control — the more easily appreciation and acknowledgment become part of who we are.
Think about how cool would it be for a simple and genuine “thank you” to be an automatic, rather than negativity or nothing at all? Being present to what and who we appreciate breeds and builds the giving of appreciation in those around us.
Appreciation comes in many shapes and sizes. While every single thing we do for others shouldn’t require fanfare with a marching band, we all like to hear a sincere “thank you” and to be acknowledged for what we do for others.
Yes, even the person who’s picking up the garbage that travelers leave behind in the airport waiting areas needs to be shown appreciation.
Make it your mission to go out of your way to express appreciation and acknowledgment to someone today. You’ll make their day brighter, and you just may inspire another person to set their life’s direction on a positive course and use their power to create an outrageous life. At worst, it just feels good to do it.
— Santa Barbara resident Clay Nelson founded Clay Nelson Life Balance™ to provide businesses and individuals with what may be missing in their lives: purpose, personal and business planning, fun, effective delegation through team management, and accountability. Click here to download Clay’s complimentary e-book, The Balanced Life — How to Put Fun, Family and Financial Freedom into Your Business and Personal Life. Click here to subscribe to the free podcast of The Clay Nelson Life Balance™ Hour.
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» on 06.09.09 @ 07:33 AM
We do,in fact, “assume” too much. Aptly stated. It would be wonderful to see more examples of grateful hearts. Thank you!
» on 06.09.09 @ 09:54 AM
Dear Sr. Nelson,
Your words always come at a perfect time when I seem to be looking for an answer. Thank you for lighting the way and for having the vision for the simple things. I am grateful for having you at hand.
yours,
mc
p.s. Thanks Noozhawk team!
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