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Clay Nelson, Life Balance: Family Ties
As I do after most holidays, today I’m basking in the glow of a wonderful Father’s Day celebration. The kids came home and we spent the day together eating, laughing and just plain enjoying one another’s company. My family is awesome, and from time to time I can’t say that I always feel that way.
Don’t get me wrong: I love my family always. Yet, I’m not immune to the daily grind and the effect that teenagers and life in general can have on one’s psyche. However, when I take the time to step back and really be with my family, I clearly understand the power of the bonds of family.
Family — we can’t live without them, and at times, it doesn’t feel like we can live with them.
Think about your family. For the great majority of us, family is at the core of all we do. At the same time, have you ever noticed how much time we spend avoiding our families?
For example, after a very difficult day, you’re enjoying a relaxing evening at home with your spouse and children. The telephone rings and caller ID shows that it’s your mother. How many of you roll your eyes, grimace or even let it go to the answering machine? We’ve all done it, and now that we have officially entered the summer season, we’ve come to a time of year that can be especially stressful when it comes to family togetherness.
Summertime tends to bring with it not only a continuation of work commitments, but the juggling of vacation, children’s activities and a litany of family events from weddings and graduations to Fourth of July celebrations and family reunions. On top of the event, there are the preparations for the family activities. For example, you have to take a major shopping trip because family is coming to town and you want them to have what they need. You make sure everyone has acceptable clothing for the wedding, and that the car is tuned up and lubed before you make the five-hour trek. You have presents to take to weddings, graduations and anniversary parties, and if you are leaving town, you have to make arrangements for someone to feed the pets.
Family time — and the preparations that often go into it — can be exhausting, and in the midst of the “I’ve got to do this and that” mentality, we forget to just be moms and dads, sons and daughters, grandsons and granddaughters, grandmas and grandpas. We forget that being happy and having fun together as a family doesn’t require anything other than the participants being together and being committed to having fun.
In this season of family togetherness, how do we put feeling tired and overwhelmed aside so we can enjoy the time we have to be with our families?
» Get grounded in what it is you love about your family and the time you spend together. Do you laugh about the time when grandma burned the fruitcake and the firetrucks pulled up in front of her house? Or what about watching your parents bonding with your children? Being with your family isn’t about what you do when you are with them; it is about the bond you create and strengthen when you choose to really be with them.
» Create the space for fun to happen by creating positive expectations. You can’t have fun if you don’t believe fun is possible.
» Let go of the feeling that everything has to be perfect. Give up believing that if ants get into the potato salad at the family reunion, the whole event is ruined. When you expect a family event not to go as planned, you won’t be disappointed when the unexpected happens.
When we approach family time from a place of appreciation and love, the power of family is abundantly clear. Yes, family can sometimes make us nuts, but think about the times when a family member really needed your help. You were probably the first one to drop everything to be by their side, and who’s always there when you need something?
In this summer season of frantic family togetherness, remember this quote from George Moore: “A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.”
There is no more powerful bond than our connections to those we love most, and this bond goes a long way in providing us with a sense of well-being and belonging, even if our family is nuttier than the fruitcake that Grandma burned last Christmas.
Family is not about doing or having stuff. It is family relationships that matter. The power of the family bond is strengthened when we don’t just have a family, but when we are actually being one.
— Santa Barbara resident Clay Nelson founded Clay Nelson Life Balance™ to provide businesses and individuals with what may be missing in their lives: purpose, personal and business planning, fun, effective delegation through team management, and accountability. Click here to download Clay’s complimentary e-book, The Balanced Life — How to Put Fun, Family and Financial Freedom into Your Business and Personal Life. Click here to subscribe to the free podcast of The Clay Nelson Life Balance™ Hour.
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» on 06.23.09 @ 06:26 PM
Thank you Clay…much wisdom inyour thoughts….
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