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Clay Nelson, Life Balance: Appreciate the People Around You
A month ago I visited a friend in the Midwest, and what struck me about the landscape, as we drove from place to place, was the number and size of the cemeteries. Most everything was well-kept, and flowers were placed on even some of the oldest of graves by family members who probably never even met those they now honor.
I’m not being morbid. It did at the time, however, set me to thinking about what it would be like if we all put that kind of energy into the living. Then the passing of Michael Jackson, his memorial and all the adulation set the thoughts in motion again. I’m not saying that those who have passed don’t deserve our honor and respect, but I would like for all of us to consider how we can show that level of care for those we love when they are here.
How many times have you blown off a family gathering (or gone to one with dread)? How many times have you had a bad day at work and then gone off on someone you love? How many times have you made choices that allowed you to drift away from cherished friends or family, only to regret it later? I certainly have. So, this isn’t about making anyone wrong, but we can take this opportunity to get present to what is important in our lives now — not after it is too late.
Yes, life can be extraordinarily busy and making money to provide for ourselves and our family is important, but who we “be” and how we choose to treat those we care about most, when we do what we do, is even more important. When it gets right down to it, what is important in our lives aren’t things. Money can’t hug us and things can’t serve as a substitute for the care we show others.
Listen to these quotes from young children on what they are most thankful for:
“I’m thankful for family, friends, food, drinks, place to stay, and blankets to keep warm.” — 8-year-old Cheyenne
“I am thankful for the bushy green trees, the beautiful flowers, and the buzzing bees. I am thankful for all the animals near and far and all the neat, fun things there are. I am thankful for the food I eat. And for the sun that gives us heat. Most of all, it’s clear to see. I’m thankful for my loving, caring family.” — 9-year-old Cameron
“I give thanks for my family and friends because … without them I would be sad. I would also be lonely, and I would feel left out. I feel happy because I have my family and my friends.” — 10-year-old Savannah
There are hundreds more quotes similar to these all over the Internet, on social networking pages and in e-mails that we pass around. Clearly, children get what it means to be thankful for the people in their lives and not take them for granted. What if we adults could get out of our heads and back to a more simplistic way of thinking, where we don’t filter what others do and we appreciate them for who they are today, rather than tomorrow?
We can, and here’s how:
» Get present to the simple things in life, simple things such as hugs from those you love — especially your kids.
» Openly express your appreciation for those in your life. Don’t assume those you care about know how much you care.
» Always look for “gold” in every person and circumstance. There are gifts to be gotten from every person in our lives (something to learn or a safe-haven to rest in), and sometimes annoying habits or tiredness gets in our way of being able to see them. So we have to look for the “gold” because it isn’t always obvious, and always ask ourselves, “What is there for me to learn?” and then be appreciative for the lesson, and even the teacher.
» Keep your perspective. I’ve said it before, but it is worth repeating: Money can’t hug you, only people can.
» Always remember that you have a choice. Each one of us has the choice to complain about the life we have or create a life we love — even if it means simply changing the way we view life and the way we view and treat the people in it.
No one is perfect. We all have our faults, and if we could just remember that and appreciate people for who they, instead of who we think they should be, there would be a lot less unhappy and lonely people existing in this world. While I’m not in a position to tell anyone what their purpose on this Earth is, I do know what it isn’t. Our purpose is not to judge and evaluate other people, and with that in mind let’s start with outwardly loving and appreciating those we have in our lives. Don’t wait for tomorrow — do it now!
— Santa Barbara resident Clay Nelson founded Clay Nelson Life Balance™ to provide businesses and individuals with what may be missing in their lives: purpose, personal and business planning, fun, effective delegation through team management, and accountability. Click here to download Clay’s complimentary e-book, The Balanced Life — How to Put Fun, Family and Financial Freedom into Your Business and Personal Life. Click here to subscribe to the free podcast of The Clay Nelson Life Balance™ Hour.
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» on 08.02.09 @ 11:24 AM
Well said, our young generation should hear and practice this more often! I’m going to be 65’ a workaholic and need to be reminded as well!Thanks
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