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Clay Nelson, Life Balance: Change Is Inevitable
Change is an issue we all deal with, and lately I’ve been reflecting on the amount of change in my life.
I turned 65 this past spring, and my youngest child graduated from high school and junior college and is on his way to making his own life. My body is changing — in some ways for the better and in other ways that we’re working on. My business has changed, and I’m traveling and speaking more, which changes how things get done inside of the business (and at home) when I’m on the road. Change is everywhere, and frankly, we don’t even have to be doing anything in our own lives to have the change around us affect our lives, too.
For example:
» Our planet is changing. A Canadian astronaut who very recently rocketed into space commented that since his last trip into orbit, the polar ice caps have shrunk.
» Health care reform is being bantered about in Congress, and when a bill does get passed, it will affect us all.
» The change occurring in state and local government funding as a result of budget deficits — affecting the condition of our roads, funding for nonprofit service agencies, hospital services, child care, access to funds for higher education, etc.
» The reduction in corporate charitable giving because of the economy. I know of one event that raises millions of dollars each year for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, which for the first time is operating its event without a corporate sponsor. The result is its having to cover its own operating expenses and an overall reduction in the amount that can go to fight childhood cancer.
The list could go on and on. So, if you think you’re insulted from the effects of change, you need to think again. Sure, it would be much simpler to live in our own little cocoon, but think about how boring life would actually be. If you want to have the life you say you want, you’ve got to be in action — not reaction — to the change around you. You can’t live life hiding under your covers. You’ve got to be out in the world dancing with what the world gives you. How do you do that?
» First, in the face of change, you have to stay present to the fact that you’re the only person who has a say in how your life turns out. You have a choice in life. You can choose to complain about what life throws at you, or you can create a life you love with what the world hands you. Which do you choose? The power of choice is yours.
» Second, the choice to be a master of change or a victim of it is yours. Choose to be in action instead of reaction. Make a commitment to be outrageous and unstoppable. Remember: The only thing in the world you can control is who you choose to be in the face of change.
» Third, be aware that those around you aren’t necessarily quick to change either. When you’re moving forward and others are stopped cold, you must have patience and understanding and lead by example. Leadership is needed most when it’s missing. Step up and show others how to get into action, to conquer their own fears and worries, instead of being stopped by them.
» Fourth, don’t underestimate the emotional component of change for yourself or others. Be present to the feelings that change brings out in you and those around you. Get those around you to open up and communicate what they are feeling, and you need to do the same. Deal with your feelings; burying them will only serve to stop you.
» Fifth, give up “I know.” Change is challenging to deal with because it usually means doing things in a way we haven’t done before. In other words, we don’t know what is ahead, and to move forward successfully, we have to give up “knowing” and instead get committed to what we want, look for what we don’t know and move ahead accordingly.
» Sixth, have a written plan. Know what you want and where you want to be and by when. When change comes knocking on your door, don’t chuck your plan out the window. Instead, adjust your plan (in writing) where necessary and keep marching forward.
» Seventh, communicate with those around you. When you’re inside of change in your life, it’s not only difficult for you but for everyone around you. Don’t isolate yourself. Instead, communicate what is going on with those around you — allow them to help you where they can. If what you want to accomplish could be done by yourself, you would have already accomplished it. Plus, when you ask people for their help, you get people involved and in action, too.
» Finally, instead of fearing change, view change as an opportunity. Yes, change can be challenging, but as the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens. There is always opportunity for learning and growing inside of every situation, but we often have to look for those opportunities and be open to receiving them. Even the slightest changes can open up a huge space for something new to occur — something better.
Think about change this way: You are looking through a kaleidoscope, you first see a set pattern, but with the tiniest twist to the right or left, the entire picture changes before you and results in a new, surprising design.
Change is the only constant you can truly rely on, and you have to be able to manage it in order to make opportunity of it. As John F. Kennedy once said: “Change is the law of life, and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”
Change is a dance you do in life. Each moment in life, every move you make creates change, and change is something we should all look forward to. After all, it is change that shows us what we don’t know, and it is at that point when learning truly begins.
On that note: Change helps me — as it does you — learn, grow and seize new opportunities, and the time has come for me to step out of the comfort of Noozhawk and into what I don’t know or haven’t yet learned. For that reason, this will be my last Life Balance column on Noozhawk. If you would like to be informed of current articles and topics from Clay Nelson Life Balance, drop me a note at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) and you’ll be added to our newsletter mailing list.
Thank you for your loyal readership. My best to you in your future and whatever life brings your way.
— Santa Barbara resident Clay Nelson founded Clay Nelson Life Balance™ to provide businesses and individuals with what may be missing in their lives: purpose, personal and business planning, fun, effective delegation through team management, and accountability. Click here to download Clay’s complimentary e-book, The Balanced Life — How to Put Fun, Family and Financial Freedom into Your Business and Personal Life. Click here to subscribe to the free podcast of The Clay Nelson Life Balance™ Hour.
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