She Said, Z Said: Carnies Make Parents Queasy Riders
Kids may not notice but it's hard to overlook these mavens of the midway.
Z: What is up with Santa Barbara’s fairs and festivals that everyone feels there must be a mini-carnival for the kids?
She: And not just any mini-carnival — a mini-carnival with carnies.
Z: Because nothing says kids-having-fun like carnies.
She: I think the bright shiny smile on a carny can make a child’s day.
Z: Like a ray of sunshine. A ray of sunshine with a few missing teeth and the smell of Jack Daniels.
Z: I could not even believe it when the carny at the Lemon Festival told Koss that he only got one ride down the slide. For $4. When there was no line. When there were no other kids within 50 feet of the ride. Was she worried that he might wear the slide down?
She: I’m sure that must have been it. Carnies are very safety conscious. I know my child is never safer than when he’s riding on a Ferris wheel that was put up that very morning by the least hung-over guy in the rig.
Z: Oh, yeah, those rides are totally safe. They’ve only been barfed all over in another city the night before, dismantled, and then driven on a nice, smooth ride on our ultra-modern freeways up to our fair city. No jostling parts, there.
She: Hand assembled by top-notch engineers, and lovingly inspected by the guy who drove the truck overnight to get here in time.
Z: So, even though the ride cost four bucks, lasted 10 seconds, and was potentially deadly, I’d say it was absolutely worth it.
She: Oh, yes. Just to see the briefest flicker of a smile on Koss’ face.
Z: Though, that might have been a bug in his mouth he was trying to get out.
She: I like to think it was a smile.
Z: Which was quickly killed when he learned how few tickets he had left. Any memory of that smile was completely erased when he figured out just how few rides he was going to be able to go on.
She: Poor kid. It almost makes me wish for long lines to wait in so it would feel like his money went a little further.
Z: Oh yeah, lines. More time with the carnies. That would make it better.
She: I guess if nothing else, these mini-carnivals are excellent lessons in budgeting.
Z: This is why I love those wrist bracelets you can buy for the fair at Earl Warren, or at El Mercado del Money Pit.
She: They are surprisingly cost-effective and a great stress relief for me since I don’t have to hear either of you whine about what a rip-off it all is once we suck it up and buy the stupid wrist band.
Z: Plus the entertainment value for me is huge. I get to yell at him to go on more rides, to make sure that we get our full value.
She: I hope you still feel that way when you see the carnie rides at the pumpkin patch.
Z: The pumpkin patch. Seriously? What could cheapo rides possibly have to do with Halloween?
She: Who knows? But I saw a chart in the LA Times business section that projected people would spend $320 million on Halloween greeting cards this year.
Z: Greeting cards for Halloween? I bet they have pictures of carnies on them. Boo!
She: Yes, dear.
Share your carnival terrors with She and Z at .
» wrote on 10/27/08 @ 08:09 AM
The carnies kinda creep me out too, and the $4 slide just makes me mad!
» wrote on 10/27/08 @ 08:30 AM
how about when the carnie demonstrates the game for the “prize LIKE a wii” ( the wii is prominently displayed as the grand prize) and then can’t even win himself?
sure- i’ll spend my five bucks with you!
» wrote on 10/27/08 @ 01:25 PM
Wow, I haven’t seen that kind of bait and switch since I tried to win a Walkman back in the day!