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Jackie Ruka: How to Control Stress Before the Holidays
There are three ways to dealing with change: act, accept or affect. Dealing with change has a lot to do with your growth level and personality type with how stress appears to you. If you are growing and graduating toward a personality that is ego-less, then you are better able to control your stress.
When it comes to the emotional ladder related to change, about 60 percent of people are fence-sitters, meaning they would prefer to take a wait and see approach. The 20 percent of people who are cynics usually feel secure where they are or feel there is a better approach but don’t necessarily act on it outside of self-sabotage.
The people who are not in arrested personality development and have grown to a level of being a champion are the other 20 percent who are excited about change. These folks tend to be noncompetitive, supporters of others and feel a sense of harmony, authenticity and transparency with a capacity to see the success of change for the greater good.
How does change affect you? Do you sit where the majority do with being a fence-sitter, or are you the resistant type at first to hearing about change? We all have a point in the fabric of our personalities that has a default. It’s usually the initial feeling or gut reaction to a change that is our default factor. This initial reaction is based on control and is ego-based. It may not look pretty, and as you know, in our family and interpersonal relationships we often know how someone we love will react to a change as well.
My mother, for example, automatically goes into resistant mode any time the norm is interrupted. Knowing this about her helps me better relate and communicate with her about life changes and prevents anticipated upheaval. When you understand the emotional ladder of change for yourself and others in your life, a proactive approach can be the best approach, not only to control stress but also better relate with others in your life.
One of the more profound ways to measure our capacity for change is to be more present in our hearts, minds and bodies. Awakening our whole selves to the present moment and deciphering change in a conscious manner. Having the ability to see the big picture with being outside of our ego selves by being in tune with our higher selves. Our higher self is detached from the defenses of our personalities. The more awake to the present we become, the more conscious we are of our environment. Instead of perceiving the holidays with old feelings of holidays past, squash your inner Scrooge and toss his big, selfish ego to the curb.
When you allow your inner Scrooge to take over, negativity, grief and depression start to enter into the picture. Those types of emotions are like feeding milk to a stray cat, which will keep coming back. So, don’t feed it to begin with.
Lastly, this is a time to have an attitude of gratitude. Look at what you do have and celebrate. Write down three things every morning between now and Christmas that you are thankful for. This exercise alone will bring you more love, abundance and happiness into your life because you’re choosing to celebrate and not deliberate. We all have choices — you can take the high road, or you can continue to peer in the rearview mirror of life.
Quote for the day: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou
— Jackie Ruka of Montecito is an author, art therapist, business professional and inspiration coach who started Get Happy Zone, a unique organization dedicated to launching your personal happiness campaign through her training classes, VIP sessions and upcoming e-book, Get Happy and Create a Kick Butt Life, A Creative Toolbox for a Life You Desire. Click here to learn more about Get Happy Zone and receive the Get Happy blog in your email inbox.
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» on 12.14.11 @ 11:29 PM
wow! its a simple yet helpful tips gonna take this down and I’m gonna try to apply it.
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