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Rae Largura: Self-Esteem in the Classroom
It’s 3:30 in the afternoon and my child jumps in the car after a long day at school and says, “Mom, I’m the fastest runner in my grade! Oh, and I got a 100 percent on my spelling test!”
When I think about my children at school seven hours a day, it becomes apparent that teachers play a major role in their self-esteem.
Self-esteem, “the overall evaluation of his or her own worth,” is an important building block to almost everything children do.
When children feel good about themselves, they are more likely to put more effort into the task at hand, they are more likely to be kinder to others and they will be more resilient of challenges.
When children feel liked by others, it gives them a sense of belonging, or personal importance. When children feel confident academically, they will feel achievement. Achievement breeds success.
Self-esteem might be the single biggest factor to happiness. Could that be? Do we have that much power in how are children turn out? How important is teaching self-esteem in the classroom? Can we, as parents, foster and ingrain self-esteem at home, or do we need the help of our schools and teachers?
Dr. Nathaniel Branden, a renowned lecturer and writer on self-esteem, defines self esteem as the “disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life, and as being worthy of happiness. Thus, it consists of two components: (1) self-efficacy: confidence in one’s ability to think, learn, choose and make appropriate decisions; and (2) self-respect: confidence that love, friendship, achievement and success — in a word, happiness — are natural.”
Branden also stresses that self-esteem is absorbed more than taught. We can support and influence self-responsibility, self-efficacy and self-respect. We can help children become more aware of these elements that teach them how to be happy.
So, can we as parents foster this, or do we need the help of the classrooms? The answer is both. And very much both.
It takes a village of love to pave the road for a child’s happy independence.
— Rae Largura is president of Leading Edge Tutors.
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» on 02.04.10 @ 05:47 PM
While self esteem is important it needs to come from the child’s personal achievements, not handed out for free. Self esteem has become so overbearingly important that it has come to the point where there can be no winners and no losers anymore.
Winners are brought down (cancellation of GATE program)and losers are rewarded for just “participating”. This does not reflect real life and when high achievers are knocked down and punished so the under achievers don’t feel bad about themselves , then this is not good preparation for life and it is counter to the stated goal of preparing them to be “competent to cope with the basic challenges of life”.
It teaches them that if they are lazy, don’t worry, those who work hard will be punished and brought down to their level. You are removing competition and something to strive for.
In real life there are winners and losers and competition. Unless Obama is president forever of course. His goal is to equalize everyone. The sooner kids learn that achievers will not be slowed down for their sake the better, or they will become suicidal when they grow up and experience failure for the first time.
Life is tough!
Teach them to “do their best” and sometimes there are those who will do better, different people have different talents, nobody is good at everything. Failure is sometimes a guide, but an important part of success. Focus on the importance of doing their best, not on how they feel about themselves.
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» on 02.04.10 @ 05:54 PM
Too much self esteem creates a brat who expects accolades all the time for nothing.
I don’t recall as a youth that anyone cared bout my self esteem, they only cared about my achievements and made me fear failure with punishment. I turned out just fine and am quite successful and happy about my worth. My self esteem comes from my achievements, but I never even thought of it that way. This is the new touchy feely world where nobody is allowed to experience failure or feel bad about anything or have their feelings hurt. What a country of spoiled brats we have become as a result.
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» on 02.05.10 @ 12:33 AM
“Extreme Self Esteem is destructive” (can’t you find a better nic?) wrote, “Unless Obama is president forever of course. His goal is to equalize everyone.”
How risible is that? He has never stated that goal nor do his policies point toward that goal.
I’d say you’re nuts but that might demean all the pecans out there.
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» on 02.05.10 @ 08:57 AM
Oh lord I was afraid that would get the Obama zombies going. Sezme, I hate to burst your bubble but sometimes politicians do not “state their goals” openly because they know that they would be unpopular. Sometimes they say one thing while doing another. Sometimes they promise things in campaigns and don’t deliver once they get in office. Sometimes they deceive. However he did say during his campaign that he saw nothing wrong with"spreading the wealth around” That is equalizing. Let’s look at his actions. He is constantly punishing, deriding, and taxing the successful. But please save it for another forum, this one is about self esteem. Defend him all you wish, I will not respond further in this column.
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» on 02.05.10 @ 10:11 AM
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe this does relate well to self esteem. Obama is a perfect example of what you get when you give someone too much praise and adoration. You get a narcissistic, selfish megalomaniac with an ego and over-inflated self esteem higher than the stars. I understand the West Wing of the White house is covered with photos of his highness and that they are updated constantly as the president does this, or that. When the praise and adoration stops and opposition is presented, you get a madman acting like a petulant child intent on getting his way, begging for attention, riding over everyone to get it, devil be damned!
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» on 02.05.10 @ 10:28 AM
When parents and schools give out accolades like they were candy, achievers are not rewarded for their efforts and stragglers are, we breed “Entitlement”!
Teach the children to be self-reliant, to contribute to society and that hard and diligent work will provide it’s own rewards, we will have a new crop of young adults to protect our future.
I believe people forget that the kids are our future. The will be working and directing this country when we are old and . Yes, incontinent.
We owe it to ourselves and to our children to raise them to be an anssett/contributor to society and the world. Not to be some self-indulgent, delinquent that believes they are entitled to to fruits others ahve worked for.
Do you beleive the men and women who fought WWII (The Greatest Generation) were raised to beleive they were entitled to a good life or that they had to earn it and fight for it?
If you fall and it hurts, you learn not to fall. If you fail and it hurts, you learn not to fail.
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» on 02.05.10 @ 01:46 PM
After 53 years in education, I couldn,t agree more with Rae Lagura. There have been plenty of people who have written and researched on the importance of self-esteem.Every young person needs to be aware of themselves,and their own areas of strength and areas of weakness. If we had more confident young people, we would have less gang problems. It does have to be parents and schools working together to help all students grow up strong and confident.
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» on 02.05.10 @ 03:16 PM
Next thing you know they wont to keep score in ball games..oh ya they already do that. When they become adults and lose their jobs they go on a shooting rampage—thanks Libs.
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» on 02.05.10 @ 03:30 PM
Thats’ because you spent 50 years in education instead of the real world. I do not disagree that self esteem is important, only that it be real from real achievement and not fabricated and undeserved. Kids need to know that they will not succeed at everything, nor should they. There is only room for one at the top - the winner. They should be ok with that, yet still try their best and find the one thing that they ARE good at… not told they are good at everything and everyone is worthy, because that means dumbing down everyone to their level even if they don’t try. Eliminate competition and you eliminate motivation. Self esteem comes from accomplishment, accomplishment does not come from self esteem.
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