Thursday, May 24 , 2018, 1:57 am | Overcast 59º


She Said, Z Said: Air Time

Watch out! Our publicity-hungry columnists have gotten their big break on TV.

Z: Wayne’s World! Wayne’s World! Party on, Leslie!

She: Come on, it was nothing like that.

Z: I know. Honestly, I’m disappointed.

She: Being on public-access TV wasn’t everything you imagined?

Z: I really hoped that the studio would be in the station manager’s mom’s basement. I thought that the camera man would show up a day late, stoned out of his mind, and would accidentally tape over our segment with a 17-hour extravaganza of him and his buddies trying to blow smoke into a goldfish bowl.

She: Another teenage dream kicked in the butt by harsh reality.

Z: So true. I didn’t even see any grow-lights in the editing bay.

She: They were very professional.

Z: I know. I was horrified. We had cool little clip-on mics, there was fancy lighting, and three cameramen who, as far as I could tell, hadn’t been anywhere near a goldfish bowl in the last few days.

She: My favorite part was the mugs with Channel 17 on one side and Channel 21 on the other. No one bothered to powder my nose or fix my hair, but they were very concerned that the Channel 21 mug side would be showing.

Z: I like that we’re part of the Creative Community now.

She: You’re nothing if not creative, dear.

Z: That’s what my accountant said.

She: I feel kind of bad that we didn’t plug Hometown Santa Barbara more, though.

Z: We came, we plugged, we conquered.

She: And we did read a couple of our Noozhawk columns.

Z: And we totally plugged Hometown Santa Barbara. We even brought an extra copy for David Starkey, the host. Speaking of plugs, when’s the show on?

She: Do you mean Creative Community hosted by David Starkey on Channel 21? Funny you should ask. If I had to guess, the interview runs at 6:30 p.m. on Monday; at 8:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday; at 1:30 a.m., 3:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. on Wednesday; at 8:30 a.m., 3:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. on Thursday; at 1:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. on Friday; at 1:30 a.m. and 11:30 a.m. on Saturday; 9 p.m. on Sunday; 1:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. on Jan. 19; at 8:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. on Jan. 20; and at 1:30 a.m., 3:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. on Jan. 21.

Z: Sweet! That’s more TV hours than CSI. We’re going to be rich with all those residual checks.

She: Uh, yeah. This is public television. We didn’t even get to keep the mugs.

Z: Bummer.

She: C’mon, it was fun. Plus, I loved that we’re friends with the host. I kept expecting him to bring up that game of Marry, Date or Dump? we played at their house last year.

Z: I’m thinking this is exactly what it’s like when Jon Stewart interviews one of his old comedian buddies.

She: Sure. Exactly. It’s very weird watching yourself on TV.

Z: It turns out that I’m very twitchy. I was trying to be conscious of it, and keep my movements to a minimum. Even as we write this, I’m surprised at how much my foot is bouncing up and down.

She: You’re always moving, even in your sleep. I’m just happy I didn’t sound like a complete goofball.

Z: The thing that I’m happiest about is how I didn’t look like a total fembot.

She: What do you mean?

Z: Don’t you remember Scrabble, the TV game show I was on?

She: Now I remember the fembot.

Z: Not only did I lose to some idiot, but I looked ... very animated. That was my last TV appearance.

She: Who knew that public access would be a step up for you?

Z: Party on, Leslie!

She: Yes, dear.

Watch She and Z on the Creative Community this week and next on Channel 21, or e-mail them at [email protected]

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