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Sunday, January 20 , 2019, 10:03 am | Fair 56º


She Said, Z Said: The Middle Ages Are, Like, So Yesterday

From the plague era to plantar fasciitis, there's been a real Renaissance of epiphanies ... at La Colina Junior High

She: The Middle Ages rocked.

Z: We’re doing this? OK. I think Victorian England was the bomb. Boo-yah!

She: No. I mean the “Walk Through the Middles Ages” at La Colina Junior High School. Koss’ social studies class project to bring history to life.

Z: Oh. Good. ‘Cause honestly, I got nothing on Victorian England. I think I was confusing it with Victoria’s Secret.

She: There were 240 kids manning 60 different tents, each dressed up in the costume of some society from the Middle Ages. They painted backdrops, created props, and wrote skits to tell some story from their place and time.

Z: Lovely and all, but I was disappointed that there wasn’t more plague.

She: Did you not see the “Ring Around the Rosie” booth, with the girls all in black?

Z: Sure, but you can never have too much plague. More plague! More plague!

She: Seriously?

Z: What? Too soon?

She: I think I was most impressed by the fact that it seemed like there was very little parental involvement. It looked like the kids truly did all paint their own backdrops, and write their own skits.

Z: Yeah, but I’m guessing not too many of them made their own costumes.

She: But only because they don’t learn sewing any more, like we did.

Z: I’m sure I still have that jeans backpack I made at La Colina somewhere around here.

She: I talked to a few girls who said they shopped for their own costumes at a thrift store, but otherwise you’re probably right. Can you imagine letting Koss and his pals loose in a thrift shop?

Z: They’d be playing broken VCR dodge ball in 30 seconds flat.

She: Totally. If it weren’t for Koss’ friend’s supermom, they wouldn’t have had anything to wear.

Z: Naked seems very Middle Ages to me. Might have been more authentic. And perfect for junior high school.

She: Did you see the kid who shaved his head into a monk’s cap? That’s commitment.

Z: I bet he had help with that costume. The circle was perfect. I wonder if I could do that to my own head with a protractor? Could be a new look for me.

She: And I’m sure there was plenty of parental schlepping of supplies and kids around, but the whole thing still felt very student produced.

Z: Which I liked. But which also seemed unfair to the boys.

She: That is so sexist and so true. Seventh-grade boys are spazzy. I’m impressed that not all of their backdrops were just blacked out messes of spilled paint and basketball impressions.

Z: If they’d all done skits about the plague, a black backdrop would have been perfect. More plague!

She: One of the sassier kids suggested that they turn the whole thing into a real walk through the middle ages, with the parents in the booths telling stories about sore knees and what a pain in the neck their teenagers are. Then the kids walk through to be embarrassed by their parents and ask to borrow the car.

Z: Sounds more like mock through the middle ages than walk through the Middle Ages.

She: Exactly. Maybe that’s the social studies project at San Marcos.

Z: And the plague is replaced by hair loss, waist gain and plantar fasciitis. More plague!

She: Yes, dear.

— Share your middle-aged — or Middle Ages — thoughts with She and Z by emailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). And follow them on Twitter: @lesliedinaberg. Click here for previous She Said, Z Said columns.

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