Saturday, April 21 , 2018, 6:12 pm | Fair 70º


She Said, Z Said: Prom and Circumstance

High-tech times call for new, creative — and elaborate — invitations to high school's night of dance and romance

She: If you were going to ask me to the prom today, how would you do it?

Z: Is this a trick question? Because I can think of about 30 ways that my answer could get me in trouble.

She: No, I’m curious. Asking your date to prom has become a big production. So big that our niece Nikki was splashed all over the Life section of the News Press, “re-enacting” the big moment.

Z: So if I was to answer I’d send you the text message, “will u prom me?” that would be OK?

She: Of course. I might text back, “cook ur own dnnr,” but that would be lovely.

Z: Umm … maybe I could ask all your friends if you were interested in me, and then get one of them to do it?

She: “u go sleep in grg”

Z: Give me a hint.

She: Well, Nikki got a GPS treasure hunt to her prom invitation. Our friend Madeline got a pair of earrings and a big presentation at a restaurant in New York. And Andi opened her locker and had a dozen balloons, confetti and a mime pop out to ask her to the prom.

Z: Seriously?

She: Well, the mime didn’t really say anything.

Z: An actual mime in a box. He didn’t even have to fake the walls.

She: These over-the-top prom invites aren’t just a local thing either. Cory’s boyfriend in Baltimore risked life and limb (and potential disqualification) by jumping into the river during her crew race to ask her to the prom. Alyssa’s boyfriend spelled out “Lyssa Prom?” in 4-foot-tall letters on the high school fence. And Sasha from South River High was kidnapped, blindfolded and forced to walk the plank on a pier, only to be surrounded by flowers, red ribbons, candles and a sign reading “Prom 2009.”

Z: For the prom? I don’t think there are many wedding proposals that elaborate.

She: Apparently, some people at the restaurant actually thought Madeline’s prom proposition was a proposal.

Z: Romance is back.

She: Just not back here at our house.

Z: Come on. It’s not like you’d say yes, anyhow. You’re two grades older than me. You’d never go to the prom with me.

She: Not your prom, at least not back then. You were a raging goofball.

Z: That’s right. I was raging. Yeah, baby.

She: Now younger men are the next big thing. Just ask Demi Moore and Madonna.

Z: If I want to date older women, those are my choices?

She: But the younger man/older woman thing is funny with prom invites now.

Z: Funny like cracking-voices funny?

She: Even if the girl is the one who’s a senior — so it’s technically her prom — boys are still doing the asking.

Z: Years of equality battles, and this is where we’ve landed.

She: I know. It’s very twisted.

Z: It puts a lot of pressure on the boys.

She: I know those poor boys. They don’t need any more pressure.

Z: Especially not just to take a cougar to the prom.

She: I don’t think 18-year-old girls are really cougars. Even if they’re older.

Z: Cougars in training? Lynx? Cougarettes?

She: So, what incredibly creative, funny and romantic way have you thought of to ask me to the prom?

Z: I know! I’ll write a column with you. What could be more romantic? Will you go to the prom with me?

She: Yes, dear.

— Share your prom stories with She and Z at [email protected]

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