Saturday, February 24 , 2018, 5:40 pm | Fair 58º


Susan Ann Darley: Two Doors Stand Before You

With a willingness to let go of old behaviors, you can look forward to a new beginning

Two doors stand before you.

The one on your left is very large, both tall and wide. It’s easy to open, and if you choose to walk through it you can take everything with you. There is no need to clean out the garage or toss the clutter — it will fit. You can also take ill feelings, stress and anxieties. You can take your hopes and dreams, but don’t expect them to come true because the path before you is an illusion. No matter how far or fast you walk, you will still be in the same place.

The door on your right is smaller, but also easy to open. However, there is no room for excessive baggage. You know, the bags we stuff with negativity, drama and resentments. You must leave these behind. Now look ahead. The path is wide and far-reaching. When you walk through this door you are free to experience a new beginning.

What would you like to take into your new life? Write a list of what you would like to take, and then write a second list of what you don’t want to take. Then write a third list of what you know you shouldn’t and can’t take, but secretly want to because you get a strange satisfaction from things such as gossip, neediness, arrogance or from whatever you derive guilty pleasure.

Why do we hold on to damaging traits? It’s because we become addicted to the feelings underneath them. If you are insecure, then putting someone else down makes you feel superior — for a brief moment. The feeling experienced is a quick fix. In order to let go of addictive feelings, we must first establish an inner sense of security.

Example: Janice, a talented but very insecure artist, put herself and her peers down on a regular basis. She resented when others moved to the forefront in their careers. In an odd way, it temporarily made her feel better when she belittled their achievements. But overall it was locking her into a negative spiral in her own career. When she realized what she was doing and why, she became willing to change her behavior. Her breakthrough came when she began to let go of:

» Judgment — of others and herself

» Attachment — to results and outcomes

» Control — of anything outside of herself

She has since experienced amazing freedom and growth in all areas of her life.

The emotional residue of our life causes experiences to be recycled over and over until we let go of the attachment to the feeling. Your feelings are like water — liquid and fluid. Like water, repressed emotions eventually surface in order for us to clean house. So when you feel a not-so-nice feeling deep in your gut, it’s your responsibility to remove it and clean up your thoughts.

With the willingness to let go of old behaviors, you can look forward to packing a light suitcase with the words “A New Beginning” emblazoned across the front. Fill it with supportive friends, great health, good feelings, creative self-expression, success, laughter and love.

Open the door, walk through it and make it a great life. You’re the only one who can.

— Through her business, Mindset Management, Susan Ann Darley coaches and writes for businesses, entrepreneurs and artists from all disciplines. She offers a complimentary coaching session. For more information, click here, email her at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or call 805.845.3036.

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