Wednesday, February 21 , 2018, 5:34 pm | Fair 58º

 
 
 

She Said, Z Said: Say It Loud, Say It Proud

Zak speaks out about his latest experience of being told to find his inside voice

Z: I have a confession to make.

She: Don’t worry, honey, I know about the girdles.

Z: No, I don’t wear girdles.

She: Then you’re really on Navy SEAL Team 6?

Z: These are the two confessions that occur to you? I’m either a cross-dresser or killing terrorists?

She: You’re a complicated man.

Z: No. My confession is that I am a loud American.

She: That’s not a confession. That’s a huge duh. In fact, when you told me that, I’m surprised our neighbors didn’t pound on the wall telling us to keep it down.

Z: Unlike last weekend at Pepe’s.

She: I still can’t believe that woman told us to lower the volume.

Z: Am I really that loud? I still blame it on your friend, M.

She: Yes, you’re really that loud. But it’s a big, family, Mexican restaurant, not some romantic dining place. It was pretty nervy of her to yell at us to quiet down.

Z: I still love that she yelled it at us. Bad parenting rule 101. When the kids are acting up in a restaurant, you only make it worse and are 10 times more obnoxious by yelling at them to shut up.

She: Are you the kids in this analogy?

Z: Sure, only I’m an adult. A loud adult.

She: I’ll admit, I was very tempted to turn up the volume after she yelled at us. If she had said it politely I would have felt terrible and apologized for disturbing her, but when someone rudely tells you you’re being rude it brings out the bratty child in me. Seriously, I was tempted to stick out my tongue or yell “neener neener” at the top of my lungs.

Z: I used to do that.

She: Used to? This isn’t the first time you’ve been told to hush up?

Z: Nooo.

She: Shocking.

Z: It’s not like a constant thing. Fewer than 10 times.

She: Really.

Z: OK, maybe 20. One of the first times was in college, when a girl in the dining hall — the college dining hall with 7,000 other noisy students — came over to my table and asked me not to laugh so loud. That set me off on at least five minutes of even louder laughter.

She: Very mature.

Z: Not so much. But I’m comfortable with that.

She: Everyone thinks of A as being the loud one in the group, but he wasn’t even with us.

Z: He’ll be so jealous. I’m guessing the two of us get told to zip it a lot of times, and we don’t even hear it.

She: When we’re out to dinner and I leave the table to go to the restroom, I can usually hear you guys.

Z: That must be very reassuring to you.

She: From inside the restroom. On the other side of the kitchen. In another restaurant.

Z: I still don’t get why people are so uptight about our volume level. I always like loud groups. They seem so full of life, and like they’re having a good time.

She: Have you ever heard another loud group over yourself?

Z: No. But if I did, I’m sure I’d think they were delightful, vivacious people.

She: Just the kind of people we’d like to be friends with.

Z: Although, I have had friends ask me to use my inside voice. And one time — and I think this was more a response to my chattiness than to my volume — a friend famously said, “You know, Zak, silence is an option.”

She: With friends like that, who needs obnoxious patrons at Pepe’s?

Z: Next time someone yells at me to be quiet, I’m going to flash them my girdle.

She: Yes, dear.

— She and Z want you to speak up! Email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Click here for previous She Said, Z Said columns. Follow Leslie Dinaberg on Twitter.

  • Ask
  • Vote
  • Investigate
  • Answer

Noozhawk Asks: What’s Your Question?

Welcome to Noozhawk Asks, a new feature in which you ask the questions, you help decide what Noozhawk investigates, and you work with us to find the answers.

Here’s how it works: You share your questions with us in the nearby box. In some cases, we may work with you to find the answers. In others, we may ask you to vote on your top choices to help us narrow the scope. And we’ll be regularly asking you for your feedback on a specific issue or topic.

We also expect to work together with the reader who asked the winning questions to find the answer together. Noozhawk’s objective is to come at questions from a place of curiosity and openness, and we believe a transparent collaboration is the key to achieve it.

The results of our investigation will be published here in this Noozhawk Asks section. Once or twice a month, we plan to do a review of what was asked and answered.

Thanks for asking!

Click here to get started >

Support Noozhawk Today

You are an important ally in our mission to deliver clear, objective, high-quality professional news reporting for Santa Barbara, Goleta and the rest of Santa Barbara County. Join the Hawks Club today to help keep Noozhawk soaring.

We offer four membership levels: $5 a month, $10 a month, $25 a month or $1 a week. Payments can be made through PayPal below, or click here for information on recurring credit-card payments.

Thank you for your vital support.



Reader Comments

Noozhawk is no longer accepting reader comments on our articles. Click here for the announcement. Readers are instead invited to submit letters to the editor by emailing them to [email protected]. Please provide your full name and community, as well as contact information for verification purposes only.

Daily Noozhawk

Subscribe to Noozhawk's A.M. Report, our free e-Bulletin sent out every day at 4:15 a.m. with Noozhawk's top stories, hand-picked by the editors.

Sign Up Now >