Sunday, July 22 , 2018, 4:21 am | Fair 66º


She Said, Z Said: The New Generation of Graduates

The toddlers we once swung in the air are taller, and standing on the threshold of their futures

She: Our niece, Nikki, and our nephew, Michael, are graduating from San Marcos High School this week, the first from the family’s next generation. What tidbits of wisdom do we have to offer them?

Z: Cut it out with the getting older already, it’s tickin’ me off. All it does is remind me of how old I am.

She: OK, good. Stop aging. That’s excellent, practical advice. Parade around in your bathing suits and shorts now while you can, and take lots of pictures because your legs will never look this good again.

Z: My brother will love that advice.

She: Any other pearls of wise-ish-ness from the Man Cave?

Z: I remember when they were little, I used to swing them around high in the air. Don’t let me do that anymore, ‘cause it would absolutely wreck my back.

She: I don’t think you’re really getting the spirit of this thing. We’re supposed to be giving them useful advice.

Z: If you ever need some money, or a place to crash, ask Aunt Holly?

She: I can’t imagine why President Obama gets asked to give all those graduation speeches, and you don’t.

Z: What else could I possibly tell a senior in high school that they would want to hear from me?

She: An Ivy League education is highly overrated?

Z: Nice.

She: If you want to actually attend college, don’t take any classes before 10 a.m.

Z: Oh, I’ve got one — you don’t really have to separate your whites and your colors. It’s a lie perpetuated by the detergent industry. Wash everything together. Gray is the new black.

She: Wine before beer brings you to tears ...

Z: When you have to get up for those 8 a.m. classes.

She: There you go.

Z: Have a dance party at least once a week.

She: But try not to do it in the library when other kids are actually trying to study.

Z: If you ever lose your sense of wonder, wonder about that.

She: Can I get that on a T-shirt?

Z: I remember when they were 3 and 4 and in our wedding, and they sprinted down the aisle.

She: They were so cute. They just booked down the aisle.

Z: But don’t do that at your own wedding.

She: Their own wedding. Jeez, I hope they don’t have that for a long, long time.

Z: So they should date around as much as possible.

She: Exactly. Have fun. You’re only young once. You think high school wasn’t that long ago, and one day you wake up and your niece and nephew are graduating. I can’t believe we’re this old.

Z: You’re older than I am. Two grades older.

She: And I always will be.

Z: One thing I’ve learned about growing older is that it’s not always about you anymore.

She: Talk the talk ...

Z: College is completely about “I,” and you should embrace that, enjoy it. But at some point, you’re going to want to rejoin the human race. At some point, you’ll have to balance “I” with some community.

She: Are you giving real advice now?

Z: Two, classic, graduation clichés help to illustrate this; “To thine own self be true,” and “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” You’ve heard both of them a thousand times, but it’s worth it to rethink them in relationship to each other.

She: I get what you’re saying. It’s important to be an individual, but it’s also important to be a part of society. You need to be the best version of yourself, but you need to do that in a framework where you treat others with respect and dignity.

Z: Nah. I was trying to say that you should use old-timey words like “thine” and “unto” whenever you can. Girls will think you’re smart, and you might get lucky. It happened to me once.

She: Yes, dear.

Share your graduation advice with She and Z at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

Support Noozhawk Today

You are an important ally in our mission to deliver clear, objective, high-quality professional news reporting for Santa Barbara, Goleta and the rest of Santa Barbara County. Join the Hawks Club today to help keep Noozhawk soaring.

We offer four membership levels: $5 a month, $10 a month, $25 a month or $1 a week. Payments can be made through Stripe below, or click here for information on recurring credit-card payments and a mailing address for checks.

Thank you for your vital support.

Become a Noozhawk Supporter

First name
Last name
Enter your email
Select your membership level

Payment Information

You are purchasing:

Payment Method

Pay by Credit Card:

Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover
One click only, please!

Pay with Apple Pay or Google Pay:

Noozhawk partners with Stripe to provide secure invoicing and payments processing.

  • Ask
  • Vote
  • Investigate
  • Answer

Noozhawk Asks: What’s Your Question?

Welcome to Noozhawk Asks, a new feature in which you ask the questions, you help decide what Noozhawk investigates, and you work with us to find the answers.

Here’s how it works: You share your questions with us in the nearby box. In some cases, we may work with you to find the answers. In others, we may ask you to vote on your top choices to help us narrow the scope. And we’ll be regularly asking you for your feedback on a specific issue or topic.

We also expect to work together with the reader who asked the winning questions to find the answer together. Noozhawk’s objective is to come at questions from a place of curiosity and openness, and we believe a transparent collaboration is the key to achieve it.

The results of our investigation will be published here in this Noozhawk Asks section. Once or twice a month, we plan to do a review of what was asked and answered.

Thanks for asking!

Click Here to Get Started >

Reader Comments

Noozhawk is no longer accepting reader comments on our articles. Click here for the announcement. Readers are instead invited to submit letters to the editor by emailing them to [email protected]. Please provide your full name and community, as well as contact information for verification purposes only.

Daily Noozhawk

Subscribe to Noozhawk's A.M. Report, our free e-Bulletin sent out every day at 4:15 a.m. with Noozhawk's top stories, hand-picked by the editors.

Sign Up Now >