Sunday, July 22 , 2018, 4:21 am | Fair 66º

 
 
 

She Said, Z Said: The New Generation of Graduates

The toddlers we once swung in the air are taller, and standing on the threshold of their futures

She: Our niece, Nikki, and our nephew, Michael, are graduating from San Marcos High School this week, the first from the family’s next generation. What tidbits of wisdom do we have to offer them?

Z: Cut it out with the getting older already, it’s tickin’ me off. All it does is remind me of how old I am.

She: OK, good. Stop aging. That’s excellent, practical advice. Parade around in your bathing suits and shorts now while you can, and take lots of pictures because your legs will never look this good again.

Z: My brother will love that advice.

She: Any other pearls of wise-ish-ness from the Man Cave?

Z: I remember when they were little, I used to swing them around high in the air. Don’t let me do that anymore, ‘cause it would absolutely wreck my back.

She: I don’t think you’re really getting the spirit of this thing. We’re supposed to be giving them useful advice.

Z: If you ever need some money, or a place to crash, ask Aunt Holly?

She: I can’t imagine why President Obama gets asked to give all those graduation speeches, and you don’t.

Z: What else could I possibly tell a senior in high school that they would want to hear from me?

She: An Ivy League education is highly overrated?

Z: Nice.

She: If you want to actually attend college, don’t take any classes before 10 a.m.

Z: Oh, I’ve got one — you don’t really have to separate your whites and your colors. It’s a lie perpetuated by the detergent industry. Wash everything together. Gray is the new black.

She: Wine before beer brings you to tears ...

Z: When you have to get up for those 8 a.m. classes.

She: There you go.

Z: Have a dance party at least once a week.

She: But try not to do it in the library when other kids are actually trying to study.

Z: If you ever lose your sense of wonder, wonder about that.

She: Can I get that on a T-shirt?

Z: I remember when they were 3 and 4 and in our wedding, and they sprinted down the aisle.

She: They were so cute. They just booked down the aisle.

Z: But don’t do that at your own wedding.

She: Their own wedding. Jeez, I hope they don’t have that for a long, long time.

Z: So they should date around as much as possible.

She: Exactly. Have fun. You’re only young once. You think high school wasn’t that long ago, and one day you wake up and your niece and nephew are graduating. I can’t believe we’re this old.

Z: You’re older than I am. Two grades older.

She: And I always will be.

Z: One thing I’ve learned about growing older is that it’s not always about you anymore.

She: Talk the talk ...

Z: College is completely about “I,” and you should embrace that, enjoy it. But at some point, you’re going to want to rejoin the human race. At some point, you’ll have to balance “I” with some community.

She: Are you giving real advice now?

Z: Two, classic, graduation clichés help to illustrate this; “To thine own self be true,” and “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” You’ve heard both of them a thousand times, but it’s worth it to rethink them in relationship to each other.

She: I get what you’re saying. It’s important to be an individual, but it’s also important to be a part of society. You need to be the best version of yourself, but you need to do that in a framework where you treat others with respect and dignity.

Z: Nah. I was trying to say that you should use old-timey words like “thine” and “unto” whenever you can. Girls will think you’re smart, and you might get lucky. It happened to me once.

She: Yes, dear.

Share your graduation advice with She and Z at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

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