Sunday, October 21 , 2018, 10:46 am | Fair 69º

 
 
 
 

She Said, Z Said: Just My Imagination

Absence makes the heart grow fonder — and the conversations lopsided.

She: Having an active imagination is a good thing for a writer, right?

Z: Sure.

She: Although sometimes it can get in the way of actually writing, if you’re just imagining you’re writing and not actually doing it.

Z: I don’t do that. Sometimes I just need to sit and think. It doesn’t mean I’m not working.

She: I was talking about me.

Z: Oh. In that case, imagination is a good thing, as long as you’re writing fiction and not, say, reporting on a City Council meeting you didn’t actually attend.

She: Just because I said I could do it in my sleep doesn’t mean I actually did it.

Z: Uh, OK.

She: But lately I’ve been finding my imagination kind of distracting.

Z: What do you mean?

She: Well, since you’ve been gone all week, we’ve been having imaginary conversations instead. You’re a great listener.

Z: What were you wearing in these imaginary conversations?

She: A size 8.

Z: I’m not going to go there. Even in your imagination, I’m too smart for that.

She: Hey, how did you know that? Have you been listening in on my imagination?

Z: At least I’m listening.

She: I must be imagining this.

Z: I listen.

She: I keep wondering where you are at 7 p.m. every night when I’ve played my 91st game of handball and my arm is starting to bruise because I accidentally told Koss I’d keep playing “until Daddy gets home from work.”

Z: Oops. Sorry.

She: Or it’s asking the couch if it wants a glass of wine with dinner.

Z: You have to ask?

She: Or it’s having my alarm go off in the morning and turning to your empty side of the bed and saying, “Honey, can you take Koss to school this morning?”

Z: Are you actually saying these things out loud?

She: I’m not sure. If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a noise if nobody’s there to hear it?

Z: I’m not sure.

She: I know, because you’re not there to hear it.

Z: Does this mean you miss me?

She: Of course it does, Freud.

Z: I’ll be home soon.

She: I really missed you last night at 2 a.m. when I had to chase a bird out of the house but didn’t want to wake up Koss.

Z: There was a bird in the house?

She: Yeah. At first I just thought it was loquats falling on the roof, but then it swooshed by my earlobe.

Z: Uh, oh.

She: I yelled at your pillow, “There’s something in our room!” You didn’t even stir.

Z: That’s because I was in Denmark.

She: I know. So I had to shoo the bird out the back door, quietly.

Z: How’d it go?

She: Well, my heart was pounding, and I couldn’t find my glasses, and I tripped over a stupid ball of string — but I got the bird out without waking up Koss.

Z: A ball of string?

She: String art. We’ve been doing a lot of string art between handball games.

Z: Ah, string art.

She: I’ve been talking to you about it. Koss is actually getting pretty good. I think those colorful threads might have been what attracted the bird.

Z: Oh, yeah?

She: That and the broken screen on the window that you promised me you would fix seven months ago. Not that I’m counting.

Z: Of course not.

She: I miss you.

Z: Me, too. I’ll be home before our next column.

She: Thank god.

Z: Yes, dear.

Share your imaginary conversations with She and Z at [email protected]

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