Sunday, February 25 , 2018, 11:27 am | Fair 60º

 
 
 

She Said, Z Said: Labor Laws, and a Way-Too-Early Start of School

Just when Santa Barbara's real summer starts, our kids go back to school ... more or less

She: There ought to be a law that school can’t start in August.

Z: School? What are you talking about? It’s still summer. There should be a law that you can’t even talk about school in August.

She: I know, but Fiesta is over and our next season is back-to-school season.

Z: I thought our next season was soccer.

She: That, too, but I get excited for soccer season every year. School, not so much.

Z: You do realize you graduated, right?

She: I do, but our child hasn’t and there’s no way he can be ready for seventh grade before Labor Day. In fact, no child should have to go to school before Labor Day.

Z: Or wear white. Or stop wearing white?

She: Different rule.

Z: It is ridiculous to have most of June off to sit in gloom and then have to go back in August.

She: June is a terrible month for weather, whereas August is almost always beautiful.

Z: Same with September. And part of October. Really, summer break should go from the Fourth of July to Halloween, with occasional weeks at school when the weather is overcast and we’re tired of our kid.

She: The beginning of the school year always happens way too fast.

Z: Do you really think a calendar change is going to remedy that?

She: Pressing the snooze button couldn’t hurt.

Z: I don’t think you can schedule education the same way you plan Monday mornings.

She: How can they possibly start school before Labor Day, the official end of summer?

Z: At least it’s not like my sister’s kids in Atlanta. They started school at the beginning of August.

She: That’s why we don’t live in Atlanta.

Z: That would be it.

She: I ask you, does it really make sense for our school to start in August on a Thursday?

Z: School starts on a Thursday?

She: Yeah. So the kids have two days of school, then a weekend. Then a full week of school.

Z: All of this is throwing my biorhythms into a tizzy. And you know how I am about my biorhythms.

She: Then it’s a three-day weekend for Labor Day and a four-day week of school. So really academics won’t start until Sept. 12, even though school starts Aug. 25. They’ve got it all wrong.

Z: At the very least we should be more like UCSB, which seems like it never starts until Christmas.

She: I think they can do that because they don’t have to worry about football season.

Z: Although their soccer team does start playing awfully early.

She: There are parents out there who jump for joy when summer is over and they can finally escape from their kids.

Z: I’ve never understood that. Other than on days when he’s spent 12 hours on the computer.

She: How can they be so ready for summer to end when it has barely even begun? Do they really enjoy worrying about bedtime, balanced meals and soccer schedules?

Z: This is all about you not having had a vacation yet, isn’t it?

She: No. But there definitely should be a law enacted that school can’t start until we’ve had at least a week in Santa Barbara where the weather’s hot enough for wimps like me to go in the ocean above my ankles.

Z: So it’s a weather thing for you, not a date thing?

She: It’s both. But the best weather is usually in September, so now I’m thinking school shouldn’t start until after Columbus Day.

Z: Which isn’t always a school holiday.

She: It is now. From now on, it’s the day that Columbus discovered America shouldn’t start it’s school year until summer is over.

Z: Yes, dear.

— Tell She and Z what you think by emailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Click here for previous She Said, Z Said columns. Follow Leslie Dinaberg on Twitter.

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