Monday, August 20 , 2018, 12:30 pm | Partly Cloudy 77º


She Said, Z Said: Mother-in-Law Lawsuit No Laughing Matter

Aw, who are we kidding? It's hilarious — so sue us, already

Z: Did you hear the one about the comic’s mother-in-law who’s suing for making jokes about her?

She: No, I’ll bite. What’s the punch line?

Z: No, really. Comedian Sunda Croonquist is getting sued by her mother-in-law for making jokes about her.

She: That’s hysterical. Don’t tell my mother about this.

Z: She’d never sue me. First of all, I don’t make jokes about her. Second, she keeps begging me to make jokes about her.

She: She does not.

Z: Don’t you remember when I sold my first screenplay? Suddenly everything was fodder for a movie. “I went to the market today. You should write a movie about that.”

She: Now she’s going to sue you for this column.

Z: “I had a bagel for breakfast. Do you think Meryl Streep should star in that?”

She: She did not say that.

Z: I wonder if this lawsuit is going to set off a deluge of new mother-in-law jokes?

She: Oh, no.

Z: Straining family relations across America, and annoying retired Catskills comedians.

She: I read that Sunda’s sister-in-law is suing her, too. Thank God we never write about those in-laws.

Z: They’d sue us in a heartbeat.

She: Except they know we have no assets.

Z: They’d be looking for indentured servants.

She: Nah. They’ve seen how we clean. We’re safe. That makes me think we should probably start making fun of them after all.

Z: Historically, I’m guessing there are quite a few people who wouldn’t have minded suing their in-laws.

She: Or their own kids. I’m sure it crossed Joan Crawford’s mind.

Z: What about Oedipus Rex’s parents? They can’t have been happy having that story come out. Good material, though.

She: Do you think Mary and Joseph started to get annoyed when Jesus kept telling everyone who his real dad was?

Z: I don’t think he was doing stand-up.

She: What about your mother? Do you think she’ll ever sue us?

Z: I’m pretty sure this is the first time we’ve ever written about my mother.

She: That’s true. She makes me so mad sometimes how she refuses to meddle in our lives. She’s useless as a source of material.

Z: It’s true.

She: She gives me absolutely nothing to complain about. If it weren’t for my family we’d have no material whatsoever.

Z: What about our friends?

She: OK, them, too. I know some of them would love to sue us.

Z: That would require them actually reading our columns and realizing that we write about them.

She: True. And they’d have to recognize our nicknames for them to realize we were talking about them.

Z: We’re pretty safe.

She: I’ll tell you who is probably going to sue us some day — Koss.

Z: I knew it was a mistake to teach that boy how to read.

She: Although, we never say anything mean about him.

Z: I think that’s just because he hasn’t started junior high school yet.

She: That’s when we’ll really have to be careful.

Z: He could always change his name.

She: Nah, he’d never sue us. By the time he realizes he could, he’ll be making much worse jokes about us.

Z: If he does, I’m definitely canceling his allowance.

She: Yes, dear.

— Who would you like to sue? Tell She and Z at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

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