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Sunday, November 18 , 2018, 2:19 am | Fog/Mist 53º

 
 
 

She Said, Z Said: Boyz to Men

When it comes down to it, aren't all men really just boys — with bigger and more expensive toys?

She: I just read this article (click here) on the generation gap between older and younger women. It said that pantyhose are what separate established career women from their younger counterparts.

Z: Pantyhose? Do they still make those for anyone besides movie bank robbers?

She: Not a lot. I’ve got pantyhose in my drawer that are older than Koss, but they used to be an important part of my “play dress up for success” wardrobe. Younger women don’t understand that. They’ve never had to wear pantyhose. I hate them.

Z: Nothing beats a great pair of Leggs.

She: Even lawyers and bankers wear pantsuits to dress up these days.

Z: You’re not going to start blabbering about that whole “sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits,” are you?

She: No. But if pantyhose are a symbol of the generation gap between, ahem, middle-age women and youngerish women, what is the symbol of the generation gap between middle-age men and young guys?

Z: I don’t think there is a generation gap for guys.

She: Seriously, you can’t think of anything?

Z: Uh, playing Madden NFL vs. watching sports on TV?

She: Don’t you think young guys watch sports on TV?

Z: Probably, but they’re checking their e-mail and texting at the same time.

She: I don’t think they’re checking their e-mail anymore. That’s old school.

Z: Plus, come to think of it, plenty of guys older than 30 like to play video games.

She: I notice you said “guys older than 30” and not “men older than 30.”

Z: And your point would be?

She: Are all men really just boys?

Z: Maybe. Let’s think about the guys we know. M is pretty responsible.

She: True, but he’s always been that way. I don’t think getting older has made him any more manlike.

Z: He does have more disposable income, which means fancier drum sets and electric bikes. His toys have gotten cooler if nothing else.

She: And A’s a total boy. He’s more of a boy than our 9-year-old.

Z: No real change in interests since junior high school.

She: I don’t think he’s even changed his wardrobe since junior high school.

Z: I wonder if he still gets put in trash cans at work?

She: Isn’t he the boss?

Z: Boys will be boys.

She: What about P?

Z: He likes to play man around the house, but I’m pretty sure he’s just acting. I’d say he’s still a boy. He likes video games and fantasy novels.

She: But he pretends to know a lot about red wine.

Z: There are plenty of drunk boys.

She: B is pretty manlike.

Z: Only in that sense-of-responsibility way, and he still likes to play on his bike. He’s always been that responsible guy. I think that’s more a factor of birth order. First children and only children seem to have a greater sense of responsibility. This just makes them responsiboys.

She: And E?

Z: Will definitely never grow up. He dresses up in costume for a living. I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked to borrow your old pantyhose at some point.

She: Are you saying that between the two of us we can’t think of a single man who’s more manlike than boylike?

Z: I got it. Me!

She: Uhh …

Z: I can drive a car, I shave and I drink beer. I read the newspaper and do the crossword puzzle in ink. I’ve mowed lawns, pumped gas, smoked a cigar, bought and sold stock and sired an heir. I’ve jumped out of a plane, rafted a river and climbed a mountain. I haven’t borrowed your pantyhose in a really long time. I am a man!

She: Yes, dear.

Are the men in your life really just boys? Share your tales with She and Z at [email protected]

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