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Wednesday, December 12 , 2018, 10:42 pm | Fog/Mist 49º


She Said, Z Said: What Are We Wearing?

Couples create an identical crisis when they take color coordination too far

She: A bright pink shirt? Seriously?

Z: I love this shirt. You’re the one who bought it for me, and I’m secure enough in my dudehood that I can rock pink.

She: I love it, too, but I have my bright pink shirt on today.

Z: And?

She: I can’t keep changing shirts every time I walk out of the bedroom and see you wearing the same thing that I am.

Z: It is getting kind of scary.

She: Jeans and a black shirt, OK. I get that that’s my go-to outfit and just happens to be yours, too.

Z: It’s easy, and we’re ready to start waiting tables in an emergency.

She: Khakis and a white shirt, OK. I’ll buy that one, too. Lots of people wear khakis and a white shirt. It’s not just you and I.

Z: I bet half the people reading this column are wearing khakis and shirts.

She: And the other half is wearing jeans and black shirts.

Z: But they’re probably not married to each other.

She: Even if they are, jeans and black or khaki and white are common enough combinations that it doesn’t seem that strange. Bright pink shirts, blue glasses, neon orange shirts, red glasses ...

Z: ... not everybody can pull those off.

She: Nor would they want to. People think we dress alike ironically, but we really don’t do it on purpose.

Z: You’re the one who makes us all wear the same shirts when we go to Disneyland.

She: That one actually is out of irony. But a guy wearing a neon fuchsia pink shirt with electric turquoise glasses standing next to his wife wearing a slightly different neon fuchsia pink shirt and electric turquoise glasses is just plan kooky.

Z: What do you mean? If you don’t want to wear what I’m wearing then just change your shirt. And change your glasses while you’re at it. You’ve got 50 zillion pairs of glasses and 60 zillion colors of shirts.

She: I don’t always notice our matching outfits until we’ve been walking around like matching Rockettes all day.

Z: You need to work on your high kicks.

She: I hate having to pretend I’m in on the joke when people laugh at our matching outfits and I didn’t even notice them.

Z: I think you secretly dress like me because all of the cool kids are doing it.

She: I did just read a story on BettyConfidential about Demi and Ashton and Katie and Tom dressing alike.

Z: Demashton and TomKat always dress alike when we hang out.

She: Not to mention Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale and Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux.

Z: Justifer and Gwenavin? If you refuse to change your shirt and we’re going to dress alike almost every day, then we need a celebriname. I vote for Zaklie.

She: You do realize we’re just a step away from having our picture in this Smosh Pit gallery of creepy couples dressed alike.

Z: The Smosh Pit. That must be where all the cool kids hang out.

She: Wearing matching outfits. Ironically, of course.

Z: Yes, dear.

— Tell Sheez what you think of their outfits by emailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). Click here for previous She Said, Z Said columns. Follow Leslie Dinaberg on Twitter.

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