Friday, May 25 , 2018, 3:19 pm | A Few Clouds 66º

 
 
 

She Said, Z Said: Have You Picked Your Sport Yet?

The long and the short of it is you're never too young to embark on that career in athletics

Z: Oh, no! I completely forgot! Has Koss picked his sport yet?

She: Huh?

Z: He’s 10. He has to have picked his sport by now.

She: Does jumping on the couch count?

Z: He needs to focus. He needs to choose soccer, basketball, baseball or football, and he’s got to start practicing every week. And we need to find him a private coach.

She: He’s 10.

Z: Exactly. We’re already two years late. We are bad parents.

She: I think you need to take a time-out here, honey. He’s 10.

Z: Exactly. We’re way behind. He hasn’t been training.

She: What are you talking about? He runs around and jumps and kicks things and throws things all the time. That’s what 10 year olds are supposed to be doing.

Z: You don’t understand. He’s 10, and he hasn’t picked his sport yet. What are we going to do?

She: Throw a Frisbee and then have some ice cream?

Z: Now he’ll never get on that club team, which means he won’t get on that high school team, which rules out getting scouted for college, which means no scholarship, which means he’s going to be unloved, unemployed and alone.

She: Overreact much?

Z: You don’t love him. You don’t want him to be a winner.

She: Let me tell you a little story. I have a friend whose daughter likes to play some sports, and likes to dance. So, she does what she likes. This year, her sophomore year in high school, she decided to try volleyball.

Z: You can’t start playing a sport in high school. That’s crazy talk.

She: She’s 5’11” and coordinated. She’s already getting scouted by colleges. And she’s having fun.

Z: That’s not fair. She’s tall and athletic.

She: Exactly. Sports aren’t all about fair. The big, tall, naturally athletic kids can do what they want when they want to. Many of them focus on a sport early because they’re already good at it and they love it, and more power to them.

Z: Man, that’s really got to annoy the parents who pushed their kids into volleyball when they were 7, got them a coach and a club team, and then their ungrateful children didn’t clear 5’2”.

She: That’s why the parents — ahem, coaches — who win at all costs drive me crazy. The worst kids’ coach in the world is the one who wins all their games, but who leaves half the kids on the team not wanting to play the sport anymore.

Z: But isn’t winning what makes it fun for the kids?

She: Not at all. They mostly just like running around and playing with their friends.

Z: We want our kid to be a winner. Winning is better.

She: Not for the kids who are sitting on the bench when they’re only 10 years old, and not for the 8 year olds who have Screamy McScreamerson for their first Little League coach.

Z: When did you become such a Communist?

She: They’re 10, or 12, or 8, and they’re not getting paid to be there. Who knows what their body is going to turn out to be like, or when they might suddenly figure out how to put together all of their previously awkward body motions. The only thing you know for sure is that if Coach Crazy McTooSerious kills the love of the game for them, then you’ll never find out.

Z: Huh. OK. You might have a point. So, do you think we should find Koss a coach for couch jumping?

She: Yes, dear.

— Share your backseat parenting theories with She and Z by e-mailing .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

Support Noozhawk Today

You are an important ally in our mission to deliver clear, objective, high-quality professional news reporting for Santa Barbara, Goleta and the rest of Santa Barbara County. Join the Hawks Club today to help keep Noozhawk soaring.

We offer four membership levels: $5 a month, $10 a month, $25 a month or $1 a week. Payments can be made through PayPal below, or click here for information on recurring credit-card payments.

Thank you for your vital support.

Become a Supporter

Enter your email
Select your membership level
×

Payment Information

You are purchasing:

Payment Method

Pay by Credit Card:

Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover

Pay with Apple Pay or Google Pay:

Noozhawk partners with Stripe to provide secure invoicing and payments processing.

  • Ask
  • Vote
  • Investigate
  • Answer

Noozhawk Asks: What’s Your Question?

Welcome to Noozhawk Asks, a new feature in which you ask the questions, you help decide what Noozhawk investigates, and you work with us to find the answers.

Here’s how it works: You share your questions with us in the nearby box. In some cases, we may work with you to find the answers. In others, we may ask you to vote on your top choices to help us narrow the scope. And we’ll be regularly asking you for your feedback on a specific issue or topic.

We also expect to work together with the reader who asked the winning questions to find the answer together. Noozhawk’s objective is to come at questions from a place of curiosity and openness, and we believe a transparent collaboration is the key to achieve it.

The results of our investigation will be published here in this Noozhawk Asks section. Once or twice a month, we plan to do a review of what was asked and answered.

Thanks for asking!

Click Here to Get Started >

Reader Comments

Noozhawk is no longer accepting reader comments on our articles. Click here for the announcement. Readers are instead invited to submit letters to the editor by emailing them to [email protected]. Please provide your full name and community, as well as contact information for verification purposes only.

Daily Noozhawk

Subscribe to Noozhawk's A.M. Report, our free e-Bulletin sent out every day at 4:15 a.m. with Noozhawk's top stories, hand-picked by the editors.

Sign Up Now >