Driver with an Attitude

Goleta – A bicyclist filed a report against an MTD bus driver, accusing the woman of verbal abuse. According to the victim, he was riding his bicycle when the driver not once, but twice ran him off the road.

After the second time, the bicyclist pulled up alongside the driver at the nearest stoplight and suggested she watch where she was going. Her reply was shocking, he reported. The victim said the driver threatened to “kick (his) ass” before driving on.

Naughty, Naughty

Santa Barbara – A thief made off with more than $250 in cash after robbing a clerk at knifepoint at a State Street adult bookstore on a recent Sunday morning. The robbery occurred just before 3 a.m.

Without a Pot to …

Santa Barbara – Officers inspecting a Garden Street dwelling where people were thought to be camping illegally found the residence empty; however, the mess left behind indicated somebody had been staying illegally at the location for quite some time.

Piles of trash, excrement and graffiti at the scene were the telltale signs of squatters. In addition to the garbage, officers collected items of value including an Apple hard drive and paint-ball gun supplies.

Crying Wolf Leads to Arrest

Santa Barbara – Concerned after hearing loud screaming coming from a neighboring room, a motel guest contacted authorities. Knocking on the door, officers were met by a woman who admitted making the troubling cries.

The woman apologized for her behavior but said she had seen a spider in her State Street motel room. Noting fidgety behavior, officers asked to search the room. Inside, they discovered crack cocaine and smoking paraphernalia belonging to the woman, who also had a warrant out for her arrest.

Coifed with Bad Karma

Montecito – Working on a hunch, the owner of a Coast Village Road beauty salon, who had received a check for more than $500 worth of treatments from a suspicious client, contacted the bank to see if the check was valid.

The owner’s intuition was spot on because, according to the bank, the check was indeed fraudulent. The mysterious but well-coifed female is wanted for check forgery.

Bombed Baby Boomer

Santa Barbara – A man who passed out inside a gas station market became irate when stirred from his slumber. Cursing at the officer during his arrest for public intoxication, the 64-year-old male was oblivious to the fact that he was sleeping in front of the soda machine.

Pinched Hitter

Santa Barbara – A Yanonali Street resident returned home to find 10 baseball bats missing from his carport storage unit. The bats, all major-league quality, were valued at $500.

More Than She Paid For

Santa Barbara – A woman, a San Diego resident, contacted authorities to report she had been sexually assaulted during a treatment she received from a local masseuse on a recent Friday morning.

The victim claims she was “fondled” by the massage therapist at the Cabrillo Boulevard location. The report of sexual battery is under investigation.

Swindled in Santa Barbara

Santa Barbara – In a case of fraud occurring over a 10-month period, a local resident believing he had won a sweepstakes in Costa Rica “wired” $45,000 abroad.

After sending the money in exchange for the $1.2 million he had been told he won, the victim began doubting the situation. Cheated out of his hard-earned money, the victim, 55, contacted authorities last month.

Buzz Kill

Santa Barbara – It was after midnight on a recent Saturday when a man, 26, hit the sidewalk with his face, causing serious injury to his chin.

After receiving several stitches, he contacted authorities from Cottage Hospital. Although he was unable to remember the moments leading up to the fall, the victim believes that he may have been attacked from behind.