Saturday, June 23 , 2018, 7:21 am | Fog/Mist 61º


BUSTED! Week of Jan. 2

Santa Barbara police officers asked a disoriented man if he had been drinking beer, wine or tequila. With a wide grin, the man replied, “All of it.”

Three Sheets to the Wind

Apparently too intoxicated to move, a disheveled man needed help recently. Santa Barbara police officers were called to the scene to help remove the 51-year-old man from the curb on La Cadena Street on the Lower Eastside. Assessing the situation as the man sprawled on the sidewalk, the officers asked him if he had been drinking beer, wine or tequila.

With a wide grin, the inebriated man replied, “All of it.”

Wanted for a parole violation, the intoxicated man was arrested and transported to jail.


Living on the Edge

Sweeping a shoulder of Highway 101 with a large palm leaf the day after Christmas, a man was confronted by patrolling Santa Barbara County sheriff’s deputies near the San Ysidro Road exit.

Seemingly oblivious to the fact he was standing within a few feet of heavy traffic, the 39-year-old told the deputies, “I’m not that drunk.”

Averting a potentially life-threatening situation, deputies arrested the man on suspicion of public intoxication and transported him to jail.


Out of Luck

With no money, car or cell phone, an intoxicated 19-year-old was spotted after midnight Dec. 19, stumbling along East Valley Road in Montecito.

The Goleta resident told sheriff’s deputies he was trying to find his way home after getting into an argument with his girlfriend. However, as the deputies’ report noted, the man was walking in the wrong direction.

He was arrested on a charge of public intoxication.

Female Foot Fetish?

A young woman contacted authorities after receiving a harassing phone call from an unknown male.

At 4 p.m. Dec. 30, posing as an employee from a Santa Barbara sporting goods store, the caller indicated the Carpinteria family had won free shoes. But, before the family could collect its winnings, the caller said, he needed more information. After the woman verified her address and phone number, the woman said the caller’s questions became obscure.

When asked the color of her nail polish, the woman hung up the phone, immediately ending the conversation. Alarmed by the strange call, she reported the incident to authorities.


An Unidentified Falling Object

A Ventura resident was driving north on Highway 101 on Monday, when she thought she saw “an airplane with a trail of smoke go down” in the Carpinteria foothills.

From her cell phone, the woman called authorities at 4:30 p.m. reporting what she had observed. Enlisting the help of an aviation unit, authorities were unable to locate anything unusual.

Sheriff’s deputies interviewed the woman, who said she was unsure if the object was an airplane or an “unmanned drone from Vandenberg.” Regardless, she reconfirmed, the object spiraled downward after bursting into flames.

The search ended when no further information or witnesses came forth.


Dude, That’s His Board

A surfer at Rincon was enjoying the early morning swell Monday when he came across another surfer riding a surfboard resembling the same one stolen from atop his vehicle a week before in Carpinteria.

Upon closer examination, the surfer recognized the stolen property — a rare five-fin design painted green.

“Dude, if it’s your board, I’m not going to challenge you,” said the man, relinquishing the surfboard.

Apparently ignorant that he was in possession of a stolen surfboard, the man told the board’s owner how he’d purchased the surfboard off Craigslist, the online classifieds forum, for $200 from “a guy in Ventura.”

Working together, and with the help of authorities, the men hope to locate the thief.


The Next Round

While a bartender at Mel’s Lounge in Santa Barbara was taking care of another customer, a woman reached across the bar, snatching $100 from the tip jar. The bartender told authorities the incident occurred just after 1 a.m. Monday.


Bi-Coastal Blitz

Kicked out of a taxi because he could not remember his address, a Pismo Beach resident was released to officers. Disoriented and unable to maintain his balance, the 27-year-old man told authorities he thought he was “in San Francisco in Central Park.”

Arrested on suspicion of public intoxication, the man was transported to Santa Barbara County Jail.


The Dirty Dozen

Santa Barbara police officers responded to the public restrooms in the 900 block of State Street at 7:30 p.m. Saturday after a tipster reported seeing someone “in the men’s restroom heating up a controlled substance.”

On the scene, with the help of the witness, officers located the suspected drug user nearby.

Appearing to be under the influence of heroin, the 23-year-old man admitted to “shooting up” moments earlier and was promptly arrested. Before transporting the man to jail, authorities recovered a recently used needle, among a dozen others, in his belongings.


A Bad Idea

Two grocery store cashiers in Carpinteria were arrested after an in-store loss prevention specialist uncovered a scam. Store receipts and security camera footage collected over two months indicate the duo had worked together to steal hundreds of dollars in merchandise.

In one incident, a cashier charged a co-worker $2.27 for a large basket of groceries. In another, the other cashier charged the co-worker $5 for a $40 bouquet of flowers.

The cashiers, ages 42 and 21, were arrested on suspicion of embezzlement and conspiracy.

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