Saturday, June 23 , 2018, 11:13 am | Fog/Mist 67º


Captain’s Log: A Bit of Political Humor

Pesky pelican gets right-wing reprimand

Pelican tries stealing fish off hooks of  anglers on boat.
Pelican tries stealing fish off hooks of anglers on boat. (Capt. David Bacon)

I don’t intend this as a political statement. I am sharing this story simply because it gave me a great laugh and I hope it will do the same for you.

Whether you are Democrat, Republican, Independent or some other political flavor, if you can’t laugh over this, I think you should lighten up a bit. You’ll see the analogies to current situations especially in California.

I had a group of four ladies from a cruise ship out fishing this week and we were having a blast because the fish were enthusiastically in the game. The ladies didn’t have a way to keep the fish, so it was all catch-and-release.

By the day’s end they had caught and released 49 fish and were high-fiving each other.

During the day, out of nowhere, a pelican flew in and came down right next to the boat. It immediately became a nuisance, reaching out to steal fish off of our hooks, even using its beak to bully my passengers.

We had to pull several bass out of its beak and keep the fishing hooks from getting into him. He was persistent and even dangerous to my passengers.

My trusty crew member tried valiantly to keep the nuisance invader away from fish and passengers, by staying in between them and by using the boat brush to hold the bird away while we brought up fish.

If we moved to the other side, so did the bird. There was no good solution.

Finally, the lady fishing nearest the bird and suffering the most from its grabby, greedy ways had a bellyful and yelled at the bird:

“All right you ... go back where you came from and quit stealing everything from me. We’re Republicans and that means you have to earn it!”

Thought I was going to die laughing. Everyone on the boat was cracking up (except for the invading bird). Now ... anyone who feels we should have killed a fish to feed the bird, I’ll have words with!

— Capt. David Bacon operates WaveWalker Charters and is president of SOFTIN Inc., a nonprofit organization providing seafaring opportunities for those in need. Visit to learn more about the organization and how you can help. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

Support Noozhawk Today

You are an important ally in our mission to deliver clear, objective, high-quality professional news reporting for Santa Barbara, Goleta and the rest of Santa Barbara County. Join the Hawks Club today to help keep Noozhawk soaring.

We offer four membership levels: $5 a month, $10 a month, $25 a month or $1 a week. Payments can be made through PayPal below, or click here for information on recurring credit-card payments.

Thank you for your vital support.

Become a Noozhawk Supporter

First name
Last name
Enter your email
Select your membership level

Payment Information

You are purchasing:

Payment Method

Pay by Credit Card:

Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover

Pay with Apple Pay or Google Pay:

Noozhawk partners with Stripe to provide secure invoicing and payments processing.

  • Ask
  • Vote
  • Investigate
  • Answer

Noozhawk Asks: What’s Your Question?

Welcome to Noozhawk Asks, a new feature in which you ask the questions, you help decide what Noozhawk investigates, and you work with us to find the answers.

Here’s how it works: You share your questions with us in the nearby box. In some cases, we may work with you to find the answers. In others, we may ask you to vote on your top choices to help us narrow the scope. And we’ll be regularly asking you for your feedback on a specific issue or topic.

We also expect to work together with the reader who asked the winning questions to find the answer together. Noozhawk’s objective is to come at questions from a place of curiosity and openness, and we believe a transparent collaboration is the key to achieve it.

The results of our investigation will be published here in this Noozhawk Asks section. Once or twice a month, we plan to do a review of what was asked and answered.

Thanks for asking!

Click Here to Get Started >

Reader Comments

Noozhawk is no longer accepting reader comments on our articles. Click here for the announcement. Readers are instead invited to submit letters to the editor by emailing them to [email protected]. Please provide your full name and community, as well as contact information for verification purposes only.

Daily Noozhawk

Subscribe to Noozhawk's A.M. Report, our free e-Bulletin sent out every day at 4:15 a.m. with Noozhawk's top stories, hand-picked by the editors.

Sign Up Now >