Sunday, April 22 , 2018, 7:50 am | Fair 52º


Captain’s Log: Specialty Fishing Lure Attracts Long-Awaited ‘Catch’

If this doesn’t seem funny, I’m worried about you! This is a true story, cross my heart, hope to die.

One of our regular customers (we’ll call him Joe, to protect the guilty) came into our tackle shop, Hook, Line & Sinker fishing center at 4010 Calle Real in Santa Barbara, to buy one of the specialty lures we put together. This one is called Lingslayer.

Capt. Tiffany Vague, manager of the store, greeted the familiar face cheerfully as he came into the store.

Joe said, “I’ve seen the Lingslayer catch everything this past month — lingcod, thresher shark, halibut, red snapper, copper rockfish and white seabass. This thing will catch anything! So I’m going to buy one and tie it onto the bumper of my truck to catch a beautiful woman!”

Capt. Tiffany laughed and assured Joe that as far as she knew, this would be a new target species for the Lingslayer. So Joe bought it and walked out, polishing it up. Tiffany walked to the door of the store to watch him walk out to his truck and kneel down to begin tying it securely to his bumper.

As if on queue, a stunningly pretty woman walked out of the liquor store near our shop and walked by Joe on the way to her car. She glanced down at what he was doing, stopped and asked him what it was. Joe looked up, grinned ear-to-ear, turned toward Capt. Tiffany and hollered, “See?!” Tiffany about died laughing. Then he turned his attention to his new beautiful acquaintance (I struggled not to call her his catch!).

I’ll let each one of you write your own end to this story. Did Joe reel her in, or did she become the one that got away?

— Capt. David Bacon operates WaveWalker Charters and is president of SOFTIN Inc., a nonprofit organization providing seafaring opportunities for those in need. Visit to learn more about the organization and how you can help. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

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