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Saturday, February 16 , 2019, 6:03 am | Fair 50º


Lisa Amador


Lisa Amador: Why You Must Know Dating and Self-Defense

Dating safety has much to do with having the right skills, knowledge and common sense before ever going on your date.

While it’s hard to believe that anyone would want to do you harm, especially when you live in our beautiful community of Santa Barbara, the fact is there are bad people out there who will take advantage of you if given the chance.

I’m going to focus on the importance of knowing dating self-defense moves. Assuming you’ve already done your due diligence and determined your date doesn’t have a history of unsafe behavior, plus you’ve chosen a safe location to meet, you need to know how to physically protect yourself.

You’re probably thinking, “If the guy checks out and I’m meeting at a public place, I’m sure I’ll be safe.” Most likely you’re correct, but wouldn’t you enjoy the added piece of mind knowing you can physically protect yourself?

Here are some reasons why it’s necessary:

» You can feel more confident, which will allow you to relax and enjoy yourself without fearing physical harm.

» This in turn makes you less vulnerable to someone who may try to harm you if he feels you won’t fight back.

» Awareness and immediate action can prevent an attack. If you can recognize when a man’s body language or words are becoming too aggressive, you can speak up and tell him he’s making you uncomfortable and he has to stop.

» Most respectable men will apologize and back off, but the man who doesn’t means you harm. You need to get yourself safely out of the situation by ending the date. Here’s where knowing self-defense moves can protect you from harm.

» Following through with a practiced strike, kick or jab can save your life. The timid girl who shrinks and cries, “Oh, I can’t do that,” is guaranteed harm; but the confident woman who stands up for herself saying, “NO WAY buddy, I’m not your gal and you are not going to hurt me” will clearly be shaken by the nasty experience but at least she’ll be going home.

If you’re the timid girl above, it’s time to take action and learn ways to protect yourself.

One of my favorite local businesses offering workshops and classes is Santa Barbara Women’s Self Defense. Martial artist Teri McDuffie strives to assist in providing empowerment and confidence to young ladies and women in our community. I took one of her classes with my teenage daughter and it was a blast — plus a nice boost to our confidence.

                                                                •        •        •

Click here to register as a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL member of Santa Barbara Matchmaking. You’ll receive notifications for events such as Wine and Love ... Chocolate or Cheese, which will take place at 5 p.m. Friday, Oct. 16.

Lisa Amador is a certified matchmaker, coach, relationship expert, speaker, best-selling co-author and founder of Santa Barbara Matchmaking LLC, a discreet, upscale boutique matchmaking company for successful, commitment-minded singles. Contact her at [email protected]. Click here for more columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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