Friday, June 22 , 2018, 11:56 pm | Fog/Mist 60º

 
 
 
 

Louise Palanker: Attention Whores, Getting a Boy to Like Me, Looking for More YouTube Followers

Question from Michelle

I am an attention whore. I am thirsty for attention. I want to have mental disorders. I want to be sick. I understand that I am a horrible person for feeling this way and I don’t know what to do.

Weezy

You are not a horrible person but you do need help. Every human wants attention and every child craves attention. When you don’t get enough positive attention while growing up, you may seek negative attention.

Take a good look at your early childhood. Were you praised? Were you celebrated? Were you able to spend quality time with a parent who was encouraging to you and supportive of you?

If this was not always the case, then it explains your compulsion to seek negative attention. You see, attention is so essential that children will stop at nothing to get it. This is why babies scream. It’s just that primal.

Ideally, babies grow into people who respond to a smile from a significant adult in their lives. When not enough smiles are being offered, the screaming continues. The behavior you describe, while not a literal scream, is often called a cry for help.

But you can spin this around. Think for a moment. What can you create or do that will bring you positive attention? Where can you volunteer your time and energy? When you want something, give it away. Who would love to have your attention? Who needs to see your smile today?

Retrain your brain. At your core, you want and need to be healthy so you can thrive and flourish and share your beautiful self with others.

Please visit a psychiatrist as you may have a more serious psychological disorder. Here, a psychiatrist explains the motivation behind factitious disorder​, previously known as Munchausen syndrome:

(NHS Choices video)

                                                                 •        •        •

Question from Madison

How can I get a boy to like me?

Weezy

You can not “get” anyone to do anything. What you can do is be nice, kind, caring, warm and engaging. Show an interest in him and things that interest him. Ask questions. Touch his arm. Laugh when he says something funny. Make eye contact. Pay attention when he speaks. Nod. Acknowledge him.

This will invite closer communication and a tighter bond between the two of you. It will allow him to feel safe opening up and being himself in your presence. It will give him a strong indication that you would like to know him better. If he is going to like you, he will. But before he can do that he needs to know you.

Here are more tips from Blimey Cow:

(Blimey Cow video)

                                                                 •        •        •

Question from Jon

How do you get a bunch of subscribers on YouTube? Right now I have 58, and I’d like to get more. One of my videos somehow has 5,000 views. How do I make videos that will get that many or more views?

Weezy

Quality must lead quantity. I may not be much of an expert on this. In fact, we have similar issues. If you look at my YouTube page, you’ll see that I have been making videos since the dawn of YouTube and although I put a lot of care and effort into all of my little films, some of them do not receive a lot of views.

I feel like I’m doing good work. I have great content. I am a good editor. I’m funny. I’m charming. Why no love? Then I’ll post a video of Jason Mraz singing at my cousin’s wedding and suddenly, 15,000 views? Come on.

Well, the answer is quite simple. People care about Jason Mraz. He’s even kind of a better singer than me. Fine. Alright, I get it.

Of course, I’m kidding around, but my point is that rather than focusing on views and basing your sense of yourself on the feedback you do or do not receive from others, do what pleases you and makes you proud. I love my little road movies with 48 views. They will serve as beautiful memories of excellent adventures with my husband.

Any movie you make right now will please you to no end when you are older. Plus,you are learning how to make make and post films.

I don’t know why one of your videos has 5,000 views. Only you can explore that question. What is it about this video that makes it unique? Does it have Jason Mraz? 

Of course you want love and acceptance; that’s normal. And if you truly want to put effort into increasing YouTube traffic and using it as a barometer to measure your excellence at the craft of YouTubing, then go for it.

Here are some tips:

» Be consistent. Make a film every week or every month. Even when it feels like nobody is watching. Put yourself on a schedule.

» Post links to your films on other social media platforms.

» Edit your films. Don’t just turn on a camera and talk.

» Add music and other production values that make your films look more polished.

» Start a blog. Develop a point of view and a voice. Add a YouTube Subscriber Widget to your blog.

» Tag and label your videos clearly.

» As with all things in life, whatever you want, give it away. If you want subscribers and likes and comments, give those to other YouTubers. Not just the really famous ones. Network with people who are at about your level of development.

If you suddenly catch on, people will want to see everything you’ve done. Just keep going.

What matters more than being noticed is the doing. That is what improves you.

Now, where would we go for great info on getting more YouTube subscribers? You are correct if you answered, YouTube. Here is James Wedmore:

(James Wedmore video)

                                                                 •        •        •

Got a question for Weezy? Email her at [email protected] and it may be answered in a subsequent column.

Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (Family Band: The Cowsills Story is currently airing on Showtime Networks), a teacher and a mentor. She has a teen social network/IOS app and weekly video podcast called Our Place, built around a philosophy of cyber kindness. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

Support Noozhawk Today

You are an important ally in our mission to deliver clear, objective, high-quality professional news reporting for Santa Barbara, Goleta and the rest of Santa Barbara County. Join the Hawks Club today to help keep Noozhawk soaring.

We offer four membership levels: $5 a month, $10 a month, $25 a month or $1 a week. Payments can be made through PayPal below, or click here for information on recurring credit-card payments.

Thank you for your vital support.

Become a Noozhawk Supporter

First name
Last name
Enter your email
Select your membership level
×

Payment Information

You are purchasing:

Payment Method

Pay by Credit Card:

Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover

Pay with Apple Pay or Google Pay:

Noozhawk partners with Stripe to provide secure invoicing and payments processing.

  • Ask
  • Vote
  • Investigate
  • Answer

Noozhawk Asks: What’s Your Question?

Welcome to Noozhawk Asks, a new feature in which you ask the questions, you help decide what Noozhawk investigates, and you work with us to find the answers.

Here’s how it works: You share your questions with us in the nearby box. In some cases, we may work with you to find the answers. In others, we may ask you to vote on your top choices to help us narrow the scope. And we’ll be regularly asking you for your feedback on a specific issue or topic.

We also expect to work together with the reader who asked the winning questions to find the answer together. Noozhawk’s objective is to come at questions from a place of curiosity and openness, and we believe a transparent collaboration is the key to achieve it.

The results of our investigation will be published here in this Noozhawk Asks section. Once or twice a month, we plan to do a review of what was asked and answered.

Thanks for asking!

Click Here to Get Started >

Reader Comments

Noozhawk is no longer accepting reader comments on our articles. Click here for the announcement. Readers are instead invited to submit letters to the editor by emailing them to [email protected]. Please provide your full name and community, as well as contact information for verification purposes only.

Daily Noozhawk

Subscribe to Noozhawk's A.M. Report, our free e-Bulletin sent out every day at 4:15 a.m. with Noozhawk's top stories, hand-picked by the editors.

Sign Up Now >

Meet Your Realtor Sponsored by Village Properties

Photo of Cimme Eordanidis
Cimme Eordanidis
"Since I truly enjoy doing what I do, interacting with people and representing them during one of life's most exciting events is very rewarding."

Full Profile >