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Wednesday, December 12 , 2018, 2:24 pm | A Few Clouds 63º


Louise Palanker: Small Boobs Are a Big Deal, Suicidal Thoughts and College Admission Rejection

Question from Brenna W.

Weezy, help! I am almost 18 years old and I am still really flat chested.

I can’t even fit in a 32A. I have the same boob size as when I was 11! They haven’t grown, not even a bit. I feel really bad about it. My friends have a big or normal boob size. To parties they wear cute open-chested dresses and they look good in bikinis, and I look like a dude in a bikini because of my flat chest. 

I went to the doctor last week for a cold and I asked him about my boob problem and he said that there are some woman who are like that and there is nothing I can do. He told me if I want I can think about a boob surgery when I turn 18. Like really!? Even the doctor thinks there’s no hope. I feel depressed.


Doctors can be very clinical and matter of fact. They are not always thinking about how what they say is making you feel.

Your doctor is probably correct in that you may be finished developing in the breast area and, yes, women come in all different sizes. You will fill out as you grow older and that may change the shape of your breasts. But my hope is for you to embrace the way you look.

Almost every woman has something that she does not like about her body. No woman feels perfect. But perfection is a mythical creature, and chasing it causes you to become distracted and to miss out on all of the beauty in life.

What do you love about yourself that has nothing to do with your appearance? Who are you? Who do you hope to become? How you choose to spend your life is a billion times more important than any aspect of your appearance.

Believe it or not, I get far more letters from girls who are upset about large breasts. They complain about pain, and discomfort plus difficulty with sports, running and lying on their stomachs — along with unwelcome attention. Around the age of 18, we all must look at the genetic hand we’ve been dealt and say, “I am more than enough.”

I do not believe in surgically implanting foreign objects into your body to meet some perceived beauty standard. Love the True You!

Here is a cheeky video from Emily Hart.

(Emily Hartt video)

                                                                 •        •        •

Question from Fawn U.

Hello. How are you? What would you do if you liked a boy and his mother just died and you said to him that you wished that you were in his mom’s place and he started shouting at you?


Apologize. It was a truly wrong, selfish and inappropriate thing to say to a boy who is in mourning. He has every right to be outraged. You took something entirely tragic and very personal to that boy and made it about you and your sadness. You had no right to do that.

Here is a boy who is in his own very deep despair and now he’s responsible for saving your life?! You do know that when a person hears suicidal thoughts he is mandated to report them, yes?

If your logic is this confused and twisted, you need immediate help. In no way do I wish to underplay your own pain. I get how completely blinded by it you would have to be to make that kind of statement.

Tell this boy that you are entirely sorry.

Then call a helpline regarding your depression. Click here for help.

                                                                 •        •        •

Question from Ben S.

So ... I got rejected from a college. I got really upset. I applied to others and I’m worried I won’t get accepted to any. I need words of encouragement.


Applying to college is a process. I’m sure you’ve heard about the percentages of kids who get in and who don’t get in to most schools. The odds are that you will not get into each individual school. This is why you apply to a few, so that you will be accepted into at least one.

There is no way for you to know what tiny, little factors led to one kid being chosen over you for that particular school. But the people who did the selecting do not actually know YOU. This is not a rejection of the true you. This is a system that is unable to measure your heart, your character or your essence.

So, DO NOT take this personally. Instead, see it as a signpost that helps you find your way. You can now eliminate the road that leads to that school. (So sad for them.) Your destiny awaits in a different direction. You WILL get into college.

Here is more advice and encouragement from college admissions expert Pamela Donnelly:

(PamelaDonnelly.com video)

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Got a question for Weezy? Email her at [email protected] and it may be answered in a subsequent column.

Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (Family Band: The Cowsills Story is currently airing on Showtime Networks), a teacher and a mentor. She has a teen social network/IOS app and weekly video podcast called Our Place, built around a philosophy of cyber kindness. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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