Monday, July 23 , 2018, 9:36 am | Fair 76º

 
 
 
 
Teenagers

Louise Palanker: Boys and Big Boobs, Smoking and Drinking, Feeling Lost

Question from Tamara

Why do boys like girls with big boobs?

Weezy

Not all guys do. Everyone is different.

However, if you delve deeply into the answer to this question you will find biological explanations as to why many guys are attracted to larger breasts. Humans are programmed to seek a mate who will be a great provider or bear healthy children. A woman with wide hips and large breasts would be perceived, subconsciously, to be excellent at child bearing, nursing and raising.

Of course, when a male is looking at large breasts he is not thinking about babies. He’s just hard wired to be attracted to that woman.

Conversely, if women are predisposed to be attracted to a strong male who will hunt and kill food and build a nice home, then this explains why some women are attracted to beefy muscles and a six-pack.

We also know that while some girls do think that’s pretty hot, other females may feel that a guy who spends too much time in the gym has probably never read a book. We may be more drawn to a man with a wonderful mind and heart. The same variances are true for men as applied to their taste in women.

Yes, certain elements of male and female anatomy may catch someone’s eye. We are only human. But it’s a lot like Christmas lights. Sure, they twinkle but once you walk through the door, it’s the house that you need and love.

Here is more insight from Stuff Mom Never Told You:

(Stuff Mom Never Told You - HowStuffWorks video)

                                                                 •        •        •

Question from Mariah

So, I’m a 14 year old girl. This July, my parents went on vacation alone for 10 days and I did something dumb and horrible. I was hearing stories about my slightly older friends (15 years) going to parties and getting drunk, and I wanted to know what it was like so while my parents were away I raided their liquor cabinet and I got drunk and stuff.

I just wanted to try alcohol once but I ended up having it for four consecutive days till my parents came back. On a family vacation, I started drinking even more because my parents were always out at night, and my dad left all his drinks in the apartment and I was alone with my younger siblings who were fast asleep.

Also, we’re Muslims so it’s forbidden to drink, but we aren’t very religious.

My grandmother smokes and she comes over often. She left an entire carton of cigarettes at my house so, like, In December, my friends were over and they saw the ciggs and they tried it and made me try it, too. I didn’t even say no, and, like, since then I’ve been smoking. I don’t know why I’ve become so horrible.

Please help me. I don’t know, I just can’t stop.

Weezy

I don’t mean to alarm you but you are an alcoholic. The earlier you start drinking and the more you tend to drink alone, the greater the problem you have with alcohol. It sounds like your family is giving you mixed messages by saying that drinking is against your religion and yet keeping alcohol in the house. Your relationship with your religion and your God is something that you will have to reconcile AFTER you address your addiction.

Your health comes first. There are those who find that religion can help people remain sober and committed to sobriety, but you are a young child with an addiction and so, first and foremost, you need professional help.

The ease with which you picked up both drinking and smoking tells me that you have kind of given up. It’s sort of a YOLO attitude that screams, “I DON’T EVEN CARE ANYMORE!” You do need to care. This is your body and your life. Smoking and drinking will rob you of everything.

The reasons that you started smoking and drinking need to be addressed, but, first, now that you are in pretty deep, your addictions need to be addressed. You have got layers and layers of issues that must be peeled back.

Please tell your parents that you need to see a therapist or go see your guidance counselor at school. You need to be here on earth. There is a purpose for your life and it’s your job to find it. Get sober and then go and do that.

This guy curses too much but me makes some excellent points:

(OnisionSpeaks video)

                                                                 •        •        •

Joshua

Weezy, I’m 20, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I feel lost, I don’t know what I want and I feel like I still act like an irresponsible 16-year-old teenager. Nobody really cares about me other than my parents. I don’t really have any friends because I fear the things that people do or say behind my back.

Weezy

Everyone is nervous about what others think. However, allowing anyone to stop you from being your best self is giving them power they do not deserve and have not requested. For the most part people want others to succeed.

Sure, there are petty jealousies and there is often a sense of completion in our nature, but we all instinctively know that if the shop on the corner does not do well then there will be no shop on the corner and we all really enjoy the shop on that corner.

When your mom is happy she’ll say something that makes you laugh. Happiness and prosperity are contagious. We all do well when we all do well. If people are talking behind your back, you have no control over that. You have control ONLY over what you decide to do with your life. If you would like others to care about you then care about them. If you want a friend, be a friend.

Go make a plan. It does not need to be a lifetime plan. Being 20 can be terrifying. You can feel like everyone is now expecting you to have it all figured out. We are not. We just want you to have a general idea of what the next year will hold for you.

Enroll in classes at your community college. Join a club. Volunteer. Take part. Be someone who is supportive of others. Put effort, energy and love into what you do. Smile at five people today. Mean it. You may be a late bloomer but you will bloom.

                                                                 •        •        •

Got a question for Weezy? Email her at [email protected] and it may be answered in a subsequent column.

Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She has a teen social network/IOS app and weekly video podcast called Journals Network, built around a philosophy of cyber kindness. She also teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

Support Noozhawk Today

You are an important ally in our mission to deliver clear, objective, high-quality professional news reporting for Santa Barbara, Goleta and the rest of Santa Barbara County. Join the Hawks Club today to help keep Noozhawk soaring.

We offer four membership levels: $5 a month, $10 a month, $25 a month or $1 a week. Payments can be made through Stripe below, or click here for information on recurring credit-card payments and a mailing address for checks.

Thank you for your vital support.

Become a Noozhawk Supporter

First name
Last name
Enter your email
Select your membership level
×

Payment Information

You are purchasing:

Payment Method

Pay by Credit Card:

Mastercard, Visa, American Express, Discover
One click only, please!

Pay with Apple Pay or Google Pay:

Noozhawk partners with Stripe to provide secure invoicing and payments processing.

  • Ask
  • Vote
  • Investigate
  • Answer

Noozhawk Asks: What’s Your Question?

Welcome to Noozhawk Asks, a new feature in which you ask the questions, you help decide what Noozhawk investigates, and you work with us to find the answers.

Here’s how it works: You share your questions with us in the nearby box. In some cases, we may work with you to find the answers. In others, we may ask you to vote on your top choices to help us narrow the scope. And we’ll be regularly asking you for your feedback on a specific issue or topic.

We also expect to work together with the reader who asked the winning questions to find the answer together. Noozhawk’s objective is to come at questions from a place of curiosity and openness, and we believe a transparent collaboration is the key to achieve it.

The results of our investigation will be published here in this Noozhawk Asks section. Once or twice a month, we plan to do a review of what was asked and answered.

Thanks for asking!

Click Here to Get Started >

Reader Comments

Noozhawk is no longer accepting reader comments on our articles. Click here for the announcement. Readers are instead invited to submit letters to the editor by emailing them to [email protected]. Please provide your full name and community, as well as contact information for verification purposes only.

Daily Noozhawk

Subscribe to Noozhawk's A.M. Report, our free e-Bulletin sent out every day at 4:15 a.m. with Noozhawk's top stories, hand-picked by the editors.

Sign Up Now >

Meet Your Realtor Sponsored by Village Properties

Photo of Cimme Eordanidis
Cimme Eordanidis
"Since I truly enjoy doing what I do, interacting with people and representing them during one of life's most exciting events is very rewarding."

Full Profile >