Tuesday, August 22 , 2017, 9:22 pm | Fair 66º

 
 
 
 

Louise Palanker: Alcohol and Fainting, Questions about Bisexuality, Romance Competition

Question from Stephen

There was one day when I was drinking some alcohol, and I was having a fun time and enjoying the moment. I went to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night to pee.

As I was standing, I felt shortness of breath and light headed. I felt like I was going to faint, so I crouched to the ground and, all of a sudden, I fainted. I woke up after like 10 seconds with a great fear in me. I was sweating like crazy and my ears were numb. I felt like a whistle was blowing right next to them.

I got up and drank some lemonade and went to sleep. Ever since then, if I try to drink even a beer, I start to have panic attacks and fear that it might reoccur.

Is this normal? Why am I experiencing this, and how do I change it? I can’t drink anymore because of this fear. Also I don’t know what caused me to faint.

Please help me out, Weezy. :)

Weezy

This is a medical question, and I don’t have all the answers for you. I will tell you that, generally speaking, any more than two drinks in one evening is too much alcohol. You will begin to feel worse, not better after two drinks.

Additionally, you should always drink as much water as you do alcohol. So if you have one beer, have one glass of water. Two beers, two waters. Then stop drinking!

Alcohol dehydrates you. That could be why you were dizzy and why the lemonade helped. But have straight water whenever you drink, and drink in moderation if you drink at all.

This guy is a doctor (note the stethoscope around his neck as authentication) AND he has a British accent. So pay attention:

(Chrissy B Show video)

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Question from Jane

I currently think I’m bisexual. I want to come out, but I’​m worried it might be a phase I’ll get over soon. I don’t want to come out, only for me to realize a month later that it was all just a phase

So how can I tell if it’s a phase or not? I really don’t want to have to come out more than once. Help??

Weezy

It would help me to know your age. If you are over 20 and you have continuously had crushes on both guys and girls, then I would say that it’s not a phase and that you can come out. If you are 12, then your thoughts and feelings do not require a grand disclosure. They are for you to think and feel rather than for you to label.

Most kids — straight, gay and everything in between — have same-sex crushes that could be interpreted as admiration, friendship, romantic infatuation or anything along a wide spectrum of emotions. Growing up is confusing for everyone.

The reason a person comes out to friends and family is so that they could potentially bring a same-sex romantic partner around without that being a surprise. Certainly, if your parents are open minded you can talk about your feelings with them at any time. It’s possible that they have had similar emotions. If they are loving and understanding regarding these issues they will want to know so that they can help you feel better.

But you are your parents’ child, and they do have hopes and expectations for you, so they could have a wide variety of LGBTQ friends and still give you resistance and pushback when and if you first come out. You’ve been thinking about this for a while. It will be news to them. Be patient.

Yes, the concept of having to come out is terrifying. I know a young person who came out once as bi, again as gay and still again as trans. All before the age of 15. Again, growing up is confusing. It’s a process. Your life, just like your sexual preference and your gender identity exists along a spectrum. We are always in motion.

You will make a declaration whenever you feel that it is the right and safe time to do so. The variables include your age, your parents, your community and your certainty. Until that time there is no wrong way to feel. All that matters is that you treat yourself and others with respect and kindness.

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Question from Kaylee

I liked this guy and so did another girl, but he chose me so she was mad. After we split, I started to like another guy and I told her about it because we are friends, and that night she was all cuddly with him, almost like she was trying to get back at me. The guy doesn’t know I like him, and he was being cuddly back to her and they were flirting all night in front of me. Now she claims that she really likes this guy and she is going for him, even though I’m trying to go for him.

Weezy

I understand that The Bachelorette may have you believing otherwise, but romance is not a competition. Did you and do you truly like these guys or are you attempting to assess your own value through your ability to win their hearts? It is truly important that you understand the difference.

You and this girl appear to be locked in a classic struggle that usually ends in tears and torn friendships. If this girl is a good friend then have a conversation with her about the situation. Do not go on the attack. Simply ask her why she is showing an interest in this particular guy right now. Use words like, “Help me understand ...” If she is just someone you know then let this go and note that she is not someone in whom you should confide.

Both of you can still decide to go after any guy. But romance goes in two directions. The guy will decide who he likes, and if you are hoping for a calm and loving relationship then he may choose the girl who is less dramatic.

You can not force an outcome. All you can do is offer your best intentions to the world, receive the outcome, learn from it and proceed accordingly.

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Got a question for Weezy? Email her at [email protected] and it may be answered in a subsequent column.

Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She has a teen social network/IOS app and weekly video podcast called Journals Network, built around a philosophy of cyber kindness. She also teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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