Sunday, December 17 , 2017, 7:30 pm | Smoke 48º

 
 
 
 
Teenagers

Louise Palanker: First Job Interview Advice, Dating But Flirting, Shyness and Girls

Question from Amber

So I’m Amber and, about a month ago, I applied for a part-time wait staff at a senior citizen center. I also started working as a volunteer there. After my first volunteer day, the supervisor said she was going to put in a good word about my application for a paid position.

Then they contacted me yesterday and I did a phone consultation with the culinary services manager and they said I was going to do two interviews tomorrow. They’re going to be with my future supervisor first and then the assistant culinary services manager.

Do you have any advice for me for the interviews?

Weezy

Sure. It sounds like you have already made a great impression as a volunteer, so relax and know that they like you. Dress nicely. Sit forward in your chair. Smile. Make eye contact.

Answer questions in full sentences. For example, don’t just say yes or no. Add some information about yourself.

Try this:

Q: Why would you like to work here?

A: I would like to work here because I love people and I enjoy doing what I can to help out in the community. I am interested in food services and older people so this is really a perfect fit for me.

That type of thing. Tell them that you are proactive. That you like to figure out what needs to be done before you are asked to do it. You like being the first one in and the last one to leave. You love making people smile, etc.

They may ask you if you have any flaws. Think about that one now so that you are not too stumped by it. A good flaw would be, “I get nervous around new people,” rather then, “I’m lazy and shiftless.”

Thank them for the opportunity to meet with them. Shake hands firmly with a smile and direct eye contact. Follow up with an email that thanks them again for the opportunity and then wait to hear about your new job. I think you will get it!

(snagajob video)

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Question from Cassandra

I’m in seventh grade, and I have a boyfriend of three months. I just recently started liking this other guy, but he has a girlfriend who I’m friends with. I would never try to make him cheat on her because I’ve been cheated on before and it sucks, but he always talks to me and chooses to talk to me over her.

And I don’t want to break up with my boyfriend for him, I just have lost feelings for my boyfriend because of the boy I like. I don’t know how I can break up with him because his locker is right above mine and I’ve had a history of boyfriends and his friends would make fun of me.

I guess I’m asking what I’m supposed to do? How could I break up with him?

Weezy

You have not lost feelings for your boyfriend because of this guy. You developed feelings for this guy BECAUSE you had lost feelings for your boyfriend. So, yes, you do have to begin by breaking up with your boyfriend.

In a solid relationship, you may find someone else attractive but you won’t act on those feelings because your love for your partner and the value you place around that relationship will keep any crush at bay. If a crush is able to steal your heart then your heart was already available.

Your boyfriend deserves to be dating someone who is fully into him, so do not drag this out. Just break up and then take whatever heat, fallout and/or flack that comes along with that. It’s all part of life. Every action has a reaction. Accept and expect that, but know that your first responsibility is to be truthful. Not just with your words but with your behaviors.

If you are dating one person but flirting with another, then your actions are in conflict with your integrity and you need to fix that. It starts with the breakup. You may also learn that you can avoid a long history of future boyfriends if you are willing to stay single longer and be more selective about who you date.

Next, the guy you like has a girlfriend and so the flirting just plain needs to stop. You got out of a relationship that had run its course. If this guy wants to flirt with you, then he needs to do the same.

So, not only are you going to be truthful in your words and deeds, you are going to expect the same from those who wish to get close to you.

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Question from Dave

There is this girl I like but, when I try to talk to her, she is with her friends. But on the other hand I am shy to talk to her. The only time I talk to her is when she is not with her friends. How do I tell her I like her without being shy?

Weezy

I would say don’t put a rush on telling her that you like her. Just continue trying to talk to her. If she seems open to it, exchange phone numbers.

You are shy so let’s not go about changing your personality. Just do you and show her who you are. Show her through your actions, that you care about her. Do something nice for her. Hold a door. Tell her that you like her haircut or her shoes. Ask her how she feels about something. Offer her a cookie.

As time goes on, if she likes you, that will become clear.

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Got a question for Weezy? Email her at [email protected] and it may be answered in a subsequent column.

Louise Palanker is a co-founder of Premiere Radio Networks, the author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel called Journals, a comedian, a filmmaker (click here to view her documentary, Family Band: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She has a teen social network/IOS app and weekly video podcast called Journals Network, built around a philosophy of cyber kindness. She also teaches a free stand-up comedy class for teens at the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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