Monday, August 20 , 2018, 9:50 pm | A Few Clouds with Haze 67º


In Marymount Talk, Parenting Expert Shares Tips for Fostering ‘Individual Flourishing’

One of Marymount of Santa Barbara’s core values is Individual Flourishing. The value of Individual Flourishing emphasizes teaching students to advocate for themselves; nurturing natural passions and strengths; experiential learning and exploration; fostering creativity and confidence in self-expression; and fostering the development of personal character and qualities such as resilience, determination and adaptability in students.

On Tuesday, Marymount’s commitment to Individual Flourishing also led to a visit and talk by renowned clinical psychologist and bestselling author Wendy Mogel, Ph D., whose books The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus are considered by many to be transformational in helping parents navigate the challenges of parenting today.

In his introduction of Dr. Mogel, Andrew Wooden, Marymount head of school, talked about Marymount’s alignment with much of what Dr. Mogel discusses in her books and the honor of having someone with Dr. Mogel’s experience not only talk about what children need to be successful, happy and healthy, but how parents and schools can help children achieve this outcome.

In addition to being a clinical psychologist and bestselling author, Dr. Mogel serves on the scientific advisory board of Parents Magazine, is a research and policy advisor for Children Success, a child advocacy program of the Stanford University School of Education, and an international public speaker.

Dr. Mogel’s interactive talk immediately had the crowd at Marymount mesmerized. Her humor and insight into the challenges of raising children today drew nodding heads and laughter as well as gasps of surprise from the audience.

The guest of Marymount’s Speaker Series, a series designed to build positive outcomes for children through education, innovation and thought leadership, Dr. Mogel’s talk on Tuesday resonated with the audience. Guests left feeling they had received practical guidance, a deeper understanding of what a healthy childhood and adolescence looks like, and new tools to use in raising their children.

Marymount annual Speaker Series are open to the public, free of charge and have involved the larger community in a Community Read in partnership with the Santa Barbara Public Library system for the last several years. Dr. Mogel’s talk on Tuesday was full of valuable information for parents. A Marymount communication to school families highlighted the following five parenting tips:

» 1. Don't confuse a snapshot taken today with the epic movie of your child's life. Kids go through phases, glorious ones and alarming ones.

» 2. Work up the courage to say a simple "no." Don't try to reach
 consensus every time.

» 3. Before you nag, remind, criticize, advise, chime in, preach or over-explain, say to yourself, "W.A.I.T.," which stands for, "Why am I talking?" Listen four times more than you talk.

» 4. Allow your child to do things that scare you. Don't mistake vulnerability for fragility. If you want your daughter to grow increasingly independent and self-confident, let her get her learner's permit when she comes of age; don't offer a nuanced critique of her best friend or crush.

» 5. Treat teachers like the experts and allies they are. Give your child the chance to learn respect. It's as important a lesson as Algebra 2. Remember how life-changing a good relationship with a teacher can be.

Marymount is an independent coeducational school, junior kindergarten through eighth grade, on a picturesque 10-acre campus nestled on the Santa Barbara Riviera. For more information, please contact Molly Seguel at [email protected].

— Molly Seguel is the admission director for Marymount of Santa Barbara.

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