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Thursday, January 17 , 2019, 4:39 pm | Partly Cloudy 61º


Randi Rabin: Man Wants to Tell Fiancee He Takes Viagra; Teen Is Worried About Depressed Friend

Dear Feelings Doctor: My fiancee and I have been together for almost five years now, and during this entire time, I have been taking Viagra when we have sex. I don’t know that I want her to find out, but I can’t keep taking this stuff! It’s bad for my heart as I am 62 years old with high blood pressure.

She is 14 years younger than I am, and I’m afraid she will leave when she finds out the truth.

— Helpless in L.A.

Dear Helpless: Love and connection are really important to all of us, and honesty ranks right up there, too! I’m not sure that your love life is worth the price of your life, though. If your relationship with this woman is based on secrets, where do you go from here?

Tell the truth. Maybe without the stress of "hiding stuff" you can get things up and going again.

Dear Feelings Doctor: I have a friend who tells me that she is thinking about hurting herself. We are both seniors in high school, and she has been depressed and sad for months now. Please give me some advice.

— Scared in School

Dear Scared: Have your friend go talk to someone immediately. Go with her if she will let you — just make sure that she goes.

It is really important to tell her parents, too. They may already know that her attitude has changed, and she may seem "just sad" right now.

It is not worth taking a chance around this issue at all. Please let the grownups in her life know what is going right now. Talking to your friend is a good thing, too, and in addition to you, she needs professional help. Go to the school counselor tomorrow and share this with him or her. It is confidential and very necessary.

Keep in touch with me and let me know how I can assist further.

Got a question for The Feelings Doctor? Click here to submit a question anonymously.

                                                                        •        •

Imagine This ...

When we question whether to give someone in need a hand or a word of encouragement, the answer is yes. Pure and simple. Just yes. I know we all are busy with our things and lives and families, so when you run into someone without all of that, lend them one of your hands. A hand of hope …

“There are no traffic jams on the extra mile.” — Zig Ziglar

— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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