Saturday, July 21 , 2018, 9:31 am | Fog/Mist 65º


Randi Rabin: Longing to Be Noticed; Reconnecting with Friend Out of Rehab

Dear Feelings Doctor: I can’t believe that I am really writing to you! Only because no one will ever know that it’s me.

I am 38 years old and always been on the shy side. I work in an accounting firm, and I feel invisible — I have most of my life.

Your column about the breast implants was something I have been thinking about for 10 years. I just want to feel different in my body, and different in my life, too! Is it wrong to want to stand out just a little bit and get noticed just once?

— Jen

Dear Jen: It’s a big step that you have taken to share your story here. Thank you for being brave. Wanting to be noticed and truly seen is something that every human longs for. Whatever your vision is for feeling better about your appearance, you deserve to feel the best that you can every day. If that means enhancing your image, go for it.

I would also recommend that you talk to a professional about the reasons you have been hiding for so long; those issues should be addressed as well. The way we look and feel about our bodies perhaps helps us with our outside image. The way we respond to our spirit and our soul can only come from the true meaning we give to who and what and why we are here. That is the true journey worth taking ...

Dear Feelings Doctor: My best girlfriend just got out of a rehab facility/home. She was there for 90 days somewhere in Texas. I really want to see her and find out how she is doing, but I am scared. How do I handle our relationship now? And what if she is different?

— Patty in Santa Barbara

Dear Patty: You can be scared and still do the right thing! Call your “best girlfriend” and let her know that you are here to support her and the new chapter that she is starting in her life.

Your relationship will probably be different — perhaps better than before. Who knows? And for sure, your friend will be different. She has been on a 90-day trek to self-discovery and rebirthing of sorts. Check in with her and you may find that the two of you have even more in common these days.

Got a question for The Feelings Doctor? Click here to submit a question anonymously.

                                                                        •        •

Imagine This ...

I am a spiritual being, unfettered and free. Unlimited by former thoughts and feelings, I take a new look at myself, a new look at my life, and declare my spiritual dominion. Let the magic begin ...

— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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