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Monday, December 10 , 2018, 9:06 pm | Fair 53º


Randi Rabin: How Can I Stay Active and Fit in New Year at Age 60?

Dear Feelings Doctor: I just turned 60, and I am wondering how to stay fit and exercise in this new year in a way that won’t hurt me. Thank you.

— Kathy

Dear Kathy: There are several fun things that will keep you moving safely that are less strenuous than other exercise routines. As long as you have no major injuries, you should be fine. Please check with your doctor and get the go-ahead just to be sure.

Walking daily is actually just as beneficial as jogging and more enjoyable for those who want to see the sights and smell the roses along the way. Light weightlifting to maintain some muscle mass is also a good idea, and will keep your core strong and aligned as things change. Dancing, biking and warm yoga classes are also low-impact workouts that may be to your liking.

Begin with a trainer to make sure you are doing all the movements and exercises properly; good form will last forever, and having a happy mental attitude is also part of staying healthy.

So dance, sing and share your smile with others. Happy 2014!

Dear Feelings Doctor: My wife and I had her family for the Christmas holiday this year. What a disaster! The first few days weren’t so bad, but as the days passed they began to show their real colors and it wasn’t pretty — sitting with their feet up on my sofa waiting to be served constantly for six days! We held our feelings in and the celebration that should have been a blessing turned out to be a nightmare.

How could we have handled this awful situation?

— T.S. in S.B.

Dear T.S.: This is an ongoing dilemma with anyone who has family, so don’t feel singled out. You know the hair on the back of your neck? Well, when it starts tingling and standing up, you know that something in your life isn’t sitting well with you and that means: Share your words!

I know it sounds childlike and not really important, but that could not be further from the truth. When things in our lives feel off, or people in our lives behave in a way that makes us not feel safe or good, it really is OK to express what’s up, and it is most helpful to do it the moment you feel those shifts happen. Holding those feelings in creates more stress and anxiety.

This means lovingly setting your boundaries so that everyone understands what’s expected and desired around your holiday celebration: Help out, clean up and pitch in. With all that said, we all have those family gatherings that end up on the cutting room floor. Your attempt was a wonderful thing, my friend, and next Christmas, book a family trip to the Bahamas!

Got a question for The Feelings Doctor? Click here to submit a question anonymously.

                                                                        •        •

Imagine This ...

I knew a woman who as a young girl went through her daily life never hearing the words “I love you” from her mother or father. As she grew up, she vowed to herself that with her own family, her children would hear those words each and every day — no matter what. She kept her promise, and the gift of those precious words blossomed and grew in the heart of each child born to this family. Generation after generation have kept her dream and her promise alive by sharing her precious present of love with their families, their friends and anyone else who hangs around for a while.

Blessings of peace and love to you all in this new year of possibilities. ... Happy birthday, Cheryl!

— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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