Sunday, December 10 , 2017, 10:24 pm | Overcast with Haze 52º


Randi Rabin: Woman Suffers Panic Attacks; Couple Take Intimacy to New Heights

Dear Feelings Doctor: I recently have been getting nervous and having panic attacks in public places. I sweat and feel like I am going to pass out! I haven’t told anyone about this. I am not sure what’s going on, and it makes me frightened everyday. My husband just thinks I am in a bad mood all the time. Your advice, please.

— Anxious in Ventura

Dear Anxious: Has anything changed in your life lately? Sometimes the slightest thing can have a huge effect on us depending on what else is going on at that time.

Please go see your doctor and discuss everything with him or her. Next, share these important changes with your husband. He should know what is happening in your day-to-day life, especially when it has to do with your health.

Slow down. If you don’t have time to be still and meditate (which would be great for you), focus on taking your meditation with you. What I mean by this is, change your focus so that you look at each task throughout your day as a meditation. This will slow down your heart rate, keep you grounded and help you see what may be going on a bit more clearly. Blessings to you.

Dear Feelings Doctor: This is in regards to the wife who talked about how her husband wanted to have sex in random places and how out of character that was for her. I am here to say that my husband and I have been married for 34 years, and last summer on vacation we “did it” in a glass elevator overlooking the city where hundreds of people were passing by! It was amazing ...

We still talk about it all the time, and that memory keeps the fires burning HOT! Who knows where the next place will be? Please print this; it may spark a fire for others.

— On Top in Santa Barbara

Dear On Top: Sounds like you and your husband have been a very busy couple! I am pleased that you have such great memories like this to share.

Keeping the fires burning in a deep, connected relationship is a challenge worth taking, and it looks like the two of you have come up with some fun, out-of-the-box, semi-safe ideas. This can also make your intimate moments at home more of a creative and sacred time, too.

Thank you for reminding all of us that the riches of a deep love can change colors forever and become more beautiful over time. That reminds me of the movie When Harry Met Sally. Estel Reiner says to the waitress, “I’ll have what she’s having!” Me, too — make mine a double!

Got a question for The Feelings Doctor? Click here to submit a question anonymously.

                                                                        •        •

Imagine This ...

Here’s to the amazing gift of a grandfather.

When his eyes had trouble seeing, his heart knew just where to go.
When his fingers missed the keys on the piano, his voice would gently guide you to the next page.
As his legs began to weaken, his passion for life and family got stronger and stronger.
Such a lesson in bravery the world was given; to share in the life of a remarkable man, husband, father and grandfather for nearly 100 years.

Here’s to you, GRAMPA. Love you big ...

— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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