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Sunday, November 18 , 2018, 5:30 am | Fog/Mist 49º


Randi Rabin: Woman Confused About Her Sexuality; Cell Phone Ruins First Date

Dear Feelings Doctor: I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man for six years. I also have the best times with my girlfriends; we laugh and have fun, joke around and it's awesome.

I am finding out inside myself that I like being touched and hugged by my women friends much more than with my boyfriend. I am so bewildered, and I feel that I am changing into someone else completely.

— Kim in Santa Barbara

Dear Kim: Women are naturally emotionally close. Girlfriends tend to be fun, safe and exciting all at the same time. We get to share topics with them that our male friends/lovers may not understand or have the time to discuss with us. That’s what brings women closer in certain situations.

Sexuality doesn’t have to fit into a nice, neat little box. If you are at a happy place in your life, expressing who you are, that sounds pretty great!

Dear Feelings Doctor: I know things have changed a lot with the dating scene, but I was on my first date in three years and the guy I was with had his cell phone with him and was on it the entire night! It felt so awful. Is this how dating is these days?

— Lost in Los Olivos

Dear Lost: The only thing that needs to get lost is this guy you had the date with! Unless he was an emergency room doctor and on call, there is no excuse for his rude behavior.

Send him the video "Look Up." And my dear girl, the only thing that you need to say now is ... Next!

Got a question for The Feelings Doctor? Click here to submit a question anonymously.

                                                                        •        •

Imagine This ...

How do I know what I think until I see what I say? — E.M. Forester

— Psychotherapist Randi Rabin, M.A., MFTI, answers reader questions in her weekly Noozhawk column, The Feelings Doctor, and can be contacted at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from Antioch University Santa Barbara and completed her master’s degree in psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute under the guidance of renowned psychologist Stephen Aizenstat, Pacifica’s chancellor and founding president. She has worked as a counselor with a number of local nonprofit organizations and schools. Click here for previous columns. The opinions expressed are her own.

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